(no subject)
I am going to start journaling here about my struggles with emotion and anxiety in relation to my abandonment issues.
I want to start with this
Sometiems i feel like a liar and a phoney because sometimes I can function fine. If I dont act out for a while I start to feel like I'm faking this. I think it's because i can feel totally awesome and feel like nothing is wrong at all and everything is excellent, then if something happens (ex. best friend talks in a monotone voice to me or rushes me off the phone because she want to grab something to eat) I start to panic. All of a sudden there are a million things going through my mind. Almost like paranoia.
Here's the thing, I dont get that way about Adam. No. I'm very sure about him. But I do go through other emotions with him.
Hopefully i'll be able to keep track of some specifics over the next few weeks.
i think this will really help me out.
I want to start with this
Sometiems i feel like a liar and a phoney because sometimes I can function fine. If I dont act out for a while I start to feel like I'm faking this. I think it's because i can feel totally awesome and feel like nothing is wrong at all and everything is excellent, then if something happens (ex. best friend talks in a monotone voice to me or rushes me off the phone because she want to grab something to eat) I start to panic. All of a sudden there are a million things going through my mind. Almost like paranoia.
Here's the thing, I dont get that way about Adam. No. I'm very sure about him. But I do go through other emotions with him.
Hopefully i'll be able to keep track of some specifics over the next few weeks.
i think this will really help me out.