grief
I posted a comment to my last entry, which should have been put here. Oh well, I'm more technologically challenged than I realized!. However, if you are interested in that comment, you'll have to check out the comments.
The gist of it is how racked with grief I have been these last few days. I'm almost unconsolable, perhaps just repressed grief that has never had an opportunity to be dealth with. I guess what brought it bear so much so was on Thursday I visited a young man in the Brewton Jail who murdered his six month old son on February 22, 2005. This family are members of my parish, and one of the hardest thing I ever had to do was comfort the mother of Elias - a young lady who had lost her husband, friend and father of her child in one horrific act.for a few moments it was re-living October 19-22 all over again. We had a beautiful memorial service for Elias, but it did little to east the pain and relief the grief. My prayer is she will continue to move forward with her life. Yet, when I visited Chris, I was amazed I had no feelings of revulsion, animosity, anger or fear. what i saw before me was a young man who life is under the control of others. there was a sadness about him that was palpable. Scenes from "Dead Man Walking" permeated my mind, and I was so amazed at the peace I felt during the almost hour I visited with him. I will visit him again. he is remorseful and has asked for me and the members of Trinity Church to forgive him. CAn I, can we? Of course we can and have. I ramble, I digress...please forgive!!!all to say I miss Michael more rather than less - and I pray for peace in my heart - that the pain will at some point subside. And Jennifer if you read this, please don't misunderstand my pain and grief for lack of faith - it's just a mother's way of expressing the incredible feeling of loss and emptiness. You know how much I love and need each of you now, especially facing the inevitable with Nana. Boy, am I rambling - maybe I should stop now. Mimi
The gist of it is how racked with grief I have been these last few days. I'm almost unconsolable, perhaps just repressed grief that has never had an opportunity to be dealth with. I guess what brought it bear so much so was on Thursday I visited a young man in the Brewton Jail who murdered his six month old son on February 22, 2005. This family are members of my parish, and one of the hardest thing I ever had to do was comfort the mother of Elias - a young lady who had lost her husband, friend and father of her child in one horrific act.for a few moments it was re-living October 19-22 all over again. We had a beautiful memorial service for Elias, but it did little to east the pain and relief the grief. My prayer is she will continue to move forward with her life. Yet, when I visited Chris, I was amazed I had no feelings of revulsion, animosity, anger or fear. what i saw before me was a young man who life is under the control of others. there was a sadness about him that was palpable. Scenes from "Dead Man Walking" permeated my mind, and I was so amazed at the peace I felt during the almost hour I visited with him. I will visit him again. he is remorseful and has asked for me and the members of Trinity Church to forgive him. CAn I, can we? Of course we can and have. I ramble, I digress...please forgive!!!all to say I miss Michael more rather than less - and I pray for peace in my heart - that the pain will at some point subside. And Jennifer if you read this, please don't misunderstand my pain and grief for lack of faith - it's just a mother's way of expressing the incredible feeling of loss and emptiness. You know how much I love and need each of you now, especially facing the inevitable with Nana. Boy, am I rambling - maybe I should stop now. Mimi