sick sad world, anyone remember where that is from
Why do you have to suffer to be considered not even a good artist but an artist? I just don't understand it. I suffer but I'd rather not. I just feel like some people in the past figured it was a requirement and I just don't see it. How does becoming an art professor make you a wimp? That's just a question I ask. There is no right answer... it's just something I ask. I can't wait until school is over. Did I say that already? I don't feel like myself at all. I need a break from everything that restricts me some how and school restricts me in so many ways. My feelings were hurt really badly on Tuesday. My professor, Cynthia Grilli, didn't choose any of my work to go into the foundation show. I literally wanted to leave class. I didn't want to be apart of her class anymore. I mean, I just felt slapped. I honestly did. I guess it's a part of life. You get rejected. No big deal. At lease I know I have other works going into the show like the stuff that Siobhan collected from me. Honestly, though... I really liked her class and stuff but now I just feel this weird tension around her. It's crazy. like she doesnt like me or something. I get that tension from most of the people I meet anyway. so it doesnt matter. Most of it is probably in my head. Maybe it isn't. I will never really know. I want to watch more documentaries about different artists but obviously about the kind of stuff I want to make. I guess I'm interested in people who deal with the figure or capturing the movement of human beings. That's what interests me mostly. Most of the artists that visit the school or that we discuss are abstract or performance artists or something. I don't know why I feel the need to watch Girl, Interrupted every single time it's on tv. I mean, I guess I relate to Susanna in a way sometimes (which isn't a good thing ;D). I'm probably just not as stylish or likeable. Haha. Anyway... I relate to her sometimes. I need to read the book because it's probably way better than the movie. I read like a couple lines from Amazon.com and it's in first person. I love first person books. I like how reading for me now is about what I like and not what I am supposed to like. In high school or even earlier, I always felt like there were certain books I was supposed to read in order to be considered something. Whatever that is. Now that the pressure of getting accepted to some prestigious college is off of me I can just relax and read for entertainment or a mind tickle or something. I tried my best to read The Bell Jar but the whole time I felt depressed. Maybe I'll finish it later on or something. And the way she kept going back and forth between the different bits of her life was kind of annoying.