Twilight
I saw Twilight today ! You already know what to expect : a stupid and uninteresting rant. I still want to do it though ! Sorry !
Let's get to the point : this film was a disaster in my opinion. I expected it to be one actually. I carefully read everyone's reviews and I knew exactly what to expect, in which scene, when and how.
At the end of the film I was like ' ok, I knew it, but this is rather funny ' but now, now that I think of it, I think that if they wanted to destroy everything, they wouldn't have done it better !
-- The special effects were pitiful. But in a very disturbing way. Not enough money I know but you can't really see beyond this. The sparkling skin was ridiculous. And don't get me started with the trees climbing thing and I didn't know vampires could actually fly ?
-- Obviously, something is wrong with the plot itself. You don't understand what's happening. She sees him, they fall in love, the bad guys are in town, all of a sudden for some obscure reasons James wants Bella, they have a plan you don't understand a damn thing about, suddenly there's the ballet scene you don't know why or when that happened or where are Alice and Jasper gone and it's over.
The film actually shows us what the book would have been if it's been a bad book. Everything that makes it special and mysteriously fascinating has disappeared. Frustrating.
-- Most importantly, I've got problems with Edward Cullen. You don't get the appeal. Too dark, too conflicted, too weak, too fragile. Too intense. Some kind of caricature, a mixture of different good characters but that doesn't make him a good one. He would never let Rosalie be such a pain in the neck with Bella. He's completely passive the whole thing.
The look in his eyes !! He looks lost, flabbergasted, sick, he obviously has a problem. I mean how can he be there in class with his teachers and classmates with such a stupid look in his eyes ? That doesn't work for me. And he's terribly awkward !!! I wanted him to do something with himself instead of being there. The way he walks, stand, there's no grace about it. No inhumane beauty.
I still love Rob to death because I still think he's perfect for this part but I also think that he's drowned by the style of the film : it's gross, loud and heavy.
Two of my favourit scenes in the book : 1) The scene in the ballet studio : Edward can't let James go, he just stand there with his hands around James' head and Carlisle has to convince him to go to Bella. I seriously don't know what's this about ? Edward's main concern is Bella and not killing James because Edward Cullen perfect (let's be honnest). And then when they're around Bella and Edward screams Carlisle's name or something ? RIDICULOUS. What happened exactly ? They ruined the scene because Edward looks stupid. He sounds like a child. You see he has a problem but you don't know what it is.
2) The scene in the car in Port Angeles : Rob's acting really was terrible here. Edward never loses control. It's easy to shout and freaks out but it's not what Edward would do. And it's not because you look sad, desperate and that your voice is breaking that it is touching, heartbreaking or inspires compassion or whathever he was aiming. There's actually A LOT of WHAT THE HELL ???? in this film !
I know Jasper is also weird and I read this a lot in the reviews but to me, Edward is much more of a problem.
-- The music is pointless and annoying. It's easy to use Muse for the Baseball scene because yes, that works perfectly but it's the song that's excellent not the directing.
-- I think I've seen more of Bella on her computer / doing research than Bella and Edward together.
-- I'm sorry but I don't understand why some of the actors-vampires look less good-looking in the film. There's once again something wrong here. The make-up makes Rob looks weird (especially when you know how beautiful he can look), don't get me started with Cam / James and especially Ashley. I already knew I hated the hair she has in the film but it really was a bad idea. Bella is much prettier than everyone else !!
-- If Catherine Hardwick had been in front of me when there were the scenes where Edward and Bella are together but the sound is mute, you just see they are talking together, their lips are moving but you don't know what they're saying, what is happening between the two of them, I really would have hit her.
-- The look between Jacob/Billy and Edward was RIDICULOUS.
-- Do we really have to talk about Edward covering his nose when Bella enters the class room ?
But this is really the reason why I blame the direction and not the actors. If the people who made this film didn't think this was utterly ridiculous and comical when they shot it, then, hands down, I don't have anything else to say, they're the one to blame.
-- If you didn't want to slap Rosalie the whole thing, explain me how you managed that.
-- You don't really see why Alice could become Bella's best friend. She's just one of them really.
-- You know when I say the direction is to blame ? Another proof : at the hospital, at the end, Bella starts freaking out in her bed which is ridiculous because indeed, it is touching but it's out of place. She's almost paralized by pain but the only way they thought they could have her express her fears was her freaking out !
-- Bella Swan, after school, goes for a walk in the nearby forest, by herself and when she's deep down in it, she throws away her bag and stares at her feet and looks really intense and passionate.
Edward Cullen can take her violently by the arm and drag her somewhere and it's all right. No problem with his surhumane strenght. They both look intense and passionate so it's ok. It's good for the film.
And what I actually like about it (yes, I did like a few things !) :
+ ESME AND CARLISLE !! They're perfect !
+ Charlie. Obiously. They created a new character which is well... not surprising giving the general state of this film but it ends up being a good thing.
+ James, Victoria and Laurent. They're great. Especially James. What a shame he's not coming back. I thought that before but now that I see what we must expect for the second film, I regret it even more.
+ Mike, Eric, Jessica and all the others Humans are great. A bit of a cliché (a lot actually) but they're a breath of fresh air.
+ Robert Pattinson because I have faith in him ( ;) ).
+ Kirsten is good. She's a good Bella.
I keep adding things but I think I should stop somewhere. I need to see it again without the stupid girls around me, screaming and giggling when Edward and Bella kisses.
Let's get to the point : this film was a disaster in my opinion. I expected it to be one actually. I carefully read everyone's reviews and I knew exactly what to expect, in which scene, when and how.
At the end of the film I was like ' ok, I knew it, but this is rather funny ' but now, now that I think of it, I think that if they wanted to destroy everything, they wouldn't have done it better !
-- The special effects were pitiful. But in a very disturbing way. Not enough money I know but you can't really see beyond this. The sparkling skin was ridiculous. And don't get me started with the trees climbing thing and I didn't know vampires could actually fly ?
-- Obviously, something is wrong with the plot itself. You don't understand what's happening. She sees him, they fall in love, the bad guys are in town, all of a sudden for some obscure reasons James wants Bella, they have a plan you don't understand a damn thing about, suddenly there's the ballet scene you don't know why or when that happened or where are Alice and Jasper gone and it's over.
The film actually shows us what the book would have been if it's been a bad book. Everything that makes it special and mysteriously fascinating has disappeared. Frustrating.
-- Most importantly, I've got problems with Edward Cullen. You don't get the appeal. Too dark, too conflicted, too weak, too fragile. Too intense. Some kind of caricature, a mixture of different good characters but that doesn't make him a good one. He would never let Rosalie be such a pain in the neck with Bella. He's completely passive the whole thing.
The look in his eyes !! He looks lost, flabbergasted, sick, he obviously has a problem. I mean how can he be there in class with his teachers and classmates with such a stupid look in his eyes ? That doesn't work for me. And he's terribly awkward !!! I wanted him to do something with himself instead of being there. The way he walks, stand, there's no grace about it. No inhumane beauty.
I still love Rob to death because I still think he's perfect for this part but I also think that he's drowned by the style of the film : it's gross, loud and heavy.
Two of my favourit scenes in the book : 1) The scene in the ballet studio : Edward can't let James go, he just stand there with his hands around James' head and Carlisle has to convince him to go to Bella. I seriously don't know what's this about ? Edward's main concern is Bella and not killing James because Edward Cullen perfect (let's be honnest). And then when they're around Bella and Edward screams Carlisle's name or something ? RIDICULOUS. What happened exactly ? They ruined the scene because Edward looks stupid. He sounds like a child. You see he has a problem but you don't know what it is.
2) The scene in the car in Port Angeles : Rob's acting really was terrible here. Edward never loses control. It's easy to shout and freaks out but it's not what Edward would do. And it's not because you look sad, desperate and that your voice is breaking that it is touching, heartbreaking or inspires compassion or whathever he was aiming. There's actually A LOT of WHAT THE HELL ???? in this film !
I know Jasper is also weird and I read this a lot in the reviews but to me, Edward is much more of a problem.
-- The music is pointless and annoying. It's easy to use Muse for the Baseball scene because yes, that works perfectly but it's the song that's excellent not the directing.
-- I think I've seen more of Bella on her computer / doing research than Bella and Edward together.
-- I'm sorry but I don't understand why some of the actors-vampires look less good-looking in the film. There's once again something wrong here. The make-up makes Rob looks weird (especially when you know how beautiful he can look), don't get me started with Cam / James and especially Ashley. I already knew I hated the hair she has in the film but it really was a bad idea. Bella is much prettier than everyone else !!
-- If Catherine Hardwick had been in front of me when there were the scenes where Edward and Bella are together but the sound is mute, you just see they are talking together, their lips are moving but you don't know what they're saying, what is happening between the two of them, I really would have hit her.
-- The look between Jacob/Billy and Edward was RIDICULOUS.
-- Do we really have to talk about Edward covering his nose when Bella enters the class room ?
But this is really the reason why I blame the direction and not the actors. If the people who made this film didn't think this was utterly ridiculous and comical when they shot it, then, hands down, I don't have anything else to say, they're the one to blame.
-- If you didn't want to slap Rosalie the whole thing, explain me how you managed that.
-- You don't really see why Alice could become Bella's best friend. She's just one of them really.
-- You know when I say the direction is to blame ? Another proof : at the hospital, at the end, Bella starts freaking out in her bed which is ridiculous because indeed, it is touching but it's out of place. She's almost paralized by pain but the only way they thought they could have her express her fears was her freaking out !
-- Bella Swan, after school, goes for a walk in the nearby forest, by herself and when she's deep down in it, she throws away her bag and stares at her feet and looks really intense and passionate.
Edward Cullen can take her violently by the arm and drag her somewhere and it's all right. No problem with his surhumane strenght. They both look intense and passionate so it's ok. It's good for the film.
And what I actually like about it (yes, I did like a few things !) :
+ ESME AND CARLISLE !! They're perfect !
+ Charlie. Obiously. They created a new character which is well... not surprising giving the general state of this film but it ends up being a good thing.
+ James, Victoria and Laurent. They're great. Especially James. What a shame he's not coming back. I thought that before but now that I see what we must expect for the second film, I regret it even more.
+ Mike, Eric, Jessica and all the others Humans are great. A bit of a cliché (a lot actually) but they're a breath of fresh air.
+ Robert Pattinson because I have faith in him ( ;) ).
+ Kirsten is good. She's a good Bella.
I keep adding things but I think I should stop somewhere. I need to see it again without the stupid girls around me, screaming and giggling when Edward and Bella kisses.