OOC: CR Charts for absolute_hold and amatomnes
L E G E N D ;
♥ - Neutral to dislike. People he doesn't know enough about.
♥ - Tolerable. Enough said.
♥ - Friend. People he talks to on a regular basis and considers worth his time.
♥ - Ally/close friend. People he's able to confide in and trust with the important things.
♥ - Crush. People who are subject to his infatuation.
♥ - Love. People he truly, deeply loves, even if he sucks at showing it.
✖ - Enemies. People he generally dislikes.
✖ - Kill on sight. People he totally despises.
[ last updated: 04.18.2010 ]
A B S O L U T E . T H R E S H O L D x absolute_hold
.canonmates ;
✘ AGENT WASHINGTON / David ▻ exprojectHistory: In this background, Wash and Epsilon were a productive team for a short period before Epsilon's sanity completely degraded, and Wash continues to hold onto guilt for having, on some level, failed him. Epsilon, meanwhile, is convinced Wash wants only to hand him over to the authorities and still condemns him as a reject, leading to some major inferiority issues and need to prove himself. Epsilon feels awkward being around him and if cornered will try to shout his way out of it.
Despite this, when Epsilon was kidnapped Wash was panicked, even fracturing for a moment before recovering to mount a rescue operation.
Relationship Status: ♥ / ✖
Very, very father-and-rebellious-teenage-son.
[ GONE ] ✘ THE ALPHA / Pvt. Leonard L. Church ▻ overmoodHistory: The fucking Alpha. It's hard to have simple, easily-delineated feelings about the person you're a backup of. He's the most integral part of Epsilon's being and for that reason he's fiercely protective of him, nominally. By the same token, his Church simulation is prideful and territorial, and hasn't taken well to the revelation that Wash let the Alpha inside his head.
Relationship Status: ♥ / ♥
How would you feel about your 'dad' walking in seeing you're trying on all his clothes? Awkward turtles. :C
✘ INTELLIGENCE PROGRAM DELTA ▻ alaspooryorkHistory: Because of Epsilon's unique case of MPD, he's never too far from his siblings. However, he's aware that Delta and the others have most likely been erased, a fact which saddens him because it's like losing most of himself.
...So imagine his surprise/elation/confusion/faint annoyance at being put off when Delta showed back up, alive and well. But it's cool! He takes Epsilon's side against Wash in arguments, and that is part of why Epsilon loves him best.
Delta joined Master Chief and Wash's rescue party to retrieve Epsilon when he was kidnapped. He'd like some quiet time with his sibling when this is all done with.
(In AT, Delta currently occupies Agent Maine's vegetative body. Kinda creepy, I know. 8D)
Relationship Status: ♥
Bros before hos.
[ GONE ] ✘ MASTER CHIEF / John-117 ▻ wake_as_neededHistory: None, although Chief has gotten the low-down on Epsilon's nature.
He's also the one who got the rescue operation going to retrieve Epsilon when he was captured. But as far as Chief is concerned at this point, he's just helping retrieve a rampant AI and classified UNSC property.
Relationship Status: ♥
No interaction. As I play both characters, it will probably stay this way.
.panfandom ;
[ GONE ] ✘ MARCUS WRIGHT ▻ equalsdeathHistory: Epsilon witnessed Marcus pop out of his grave on the network and astutely identified him as a zombie. Marcus disliked this. Actually, Marcus dislikes virtually everything out of the little AI's voicebox, but that doesn't stop him.
Marcus also somehow got himself kidnapped and on the moon with Epsilon. Good thing they're the only two that don't need to breathe.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ SPIKE SPIEGEL ▻ 7livesleftHistory: Met over the network before Epsilon's kidnapping at the hands of Dan Smith and Stein. At first was confused why the guy just came up and talked to him.
Seems a nice guy, and didn't give him any flak about his telekinesis. He can stay.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ DAN SMITH ▻ cannotrestHistory: Dan Smith, on Franken Stein's directions, came to Valhalla to search for a 'Leonard Church' with a familiar of the Light element. Once on the scene, he sized up his quarry, left, and came back with a butterfly net.
I'm not kidding. A butterfly net.
Dan succeeded in capturing Epsilon, not without a fuss, and lost his eyebrows for his trouble.
Relationship Status: ✖
Somehow, Epsilon doesn't appreciate people who kidnap his ass.
✘ DR. FRANKEN STEIN ▻ exsectHistory: He released a post on the network surveying people about their familiars, intent to find a full set of the Nuadorian elements. Epsilon pinged him and Dan as a Light element candidate. When Epsilon learned from Stein that they had plans to kidnap him, Epsilon declared them bad guys and refused to cooperate. Stein seemed a little huffy about being painted with the same broad brush as Dan in this matter.
Relationship Status: ✖
BIRDS OF A FEATHER, MAN. He doesn't care what Stein's reasons are.
✘ TAMAKI ▻ cacoethicHistory: Some random weird guy Epsilon talked to on the network, who suddenly took a huge interest in his nature as an AI. Freaked the boy out.
Relationship Status: ✖
YOU'VE SCARED THE BABY.
✘ HEINE RAMMSTEINER ▻ nebenmondHistory: TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT.
Relationship Status:
.npcs ;
✘ PRITHVI ▻History: Threatened to eat him. Didn't seem deterred by the hard shell.
Relationship Status: ???
[that's all he's met so far...]
A T I A . A M A T . O M N E S x amatomnes
.canonmates ;
✘ AGENT WASHINGTON / David ▻ recoveryoneHistory: Epsilon has a different relationship/background with this Wash than with the one at Absolute Threshold. In this background, the two are far more antagonistic, with Wash being far colder and less sympathetic (although part of him still cares deep down, the bastard). Despite wanting very little to do with each other, they're slowly, slowly adjusting to being around one another, and can even have a civil conversation if they really, really try.
For Epsilon's part, he really wants Wash to acknowledge him, but at the same time refuses to show weakness or dependency. He feels rejected and broken (which is quite true) and now that Wash has explicitly told him that he malfunctioned inside his partner, he really feels like shit.
Epsilon compensates for it by being the hugest dick to Wash you could possibly imagine.
Relationship Status: ♥ / ✖
It's motherfucking complicated.
✘ INTELLIGENCE PROGRAM DELTA ▻ assistantlyHistory: Basically the same as in AT. Delta is Epsilon's favorite sibling, and he's absolutely thrilled to be able to actually hug and do brotherly things with him now.
He keeps in close contact with him on Atia, even after Delta moved out to live with York. When Delta announced plans to produce a guide for residents transitioning to a human body, Epsilon proposed the name for it: So You're Made of Meat.
Relationship Status: ♥
Naked bed-cuddling is TOTALLY OKAY. THEY'RE RELATED. AND AI.
✘ PVT. MICHAEL J. CABOOSE ▻ achievablesHistory: Epsilon feels he owes a great debt to Caboose, both for successfully getting him out of Command and for helping him (re?)-construct his Alpha personality and "memories." He knows he can rely on him utterly.
After some initial struggles to get Caboose to meet people, Epsilon is proud that his BFF is now mostly self-sufficient for getting his collar taken care of, and actually has a job. The fact that Caboose's girlfriend is a vampire space lesbian (aka Annalee Call) is less pleasing, but maybe Epsilon's just jealous.
Relationship Status: ♥
Epsilon firmly believes he is Caboose's best friend and will do way more for him than the real Church would.
✘ PFC DICK SIMMONS ▻ what_a_dickHistory: Prior to Atia, Epsilon only knew of Simmons through Caboose's stories, which painted Simmons and the rest of Red team as inept cowards. He's vaguely aware that Simmons is The Smart One but being as he's Red, this can't mean much. To top it off, after discovering Simmons' dirty fanfic and reading it aloud on the network, their relationship has been... mutual-bordering-on-murderous antagonism ever since.
And some other things. Let's just say that Simmons is starting to wonder if this is gay or not.
Relationship Status: ✖ / ♥
WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT IT.
✘ AGENT TEXAS / Allison ▻ guntogoldHistory: Epsilon is aware that Tex is an AI, remembering her just as much as the others in his production line. However, owing to the Church construct, he's simultaneously aware of her history with "him" as a human, inasmuch as any of it was ever related to Caboose. He doesn't know how they met, for instance, or why exactly they broke up. Epsilon's backbone system would love nothing so much as to spend more time with her, considering they're "the same" in a way, but the Church personality defaults to 'argumentative' and thus it stays. It's an easy state to default to, given she kidnapped him on their first meeting and most of their conversations boil down to her hating his face.
Still, she's concerned for him on some level, if only insofar as she accepts he's valuable to righting the crimes of Freelancer and he does, in some way, relate to Church. When he was traumatized by the ghosts in the forest she chewed out Sniper for losing him, and suggested countermeasures to prevent it happening in the future.
For that reason, thanks to Tex, Epsilon's collar is now fitted with the tracking device from his MJOLNIR suit. As well as a kitty bell.
Relationship Status: ♥ / ✖
Not nearly as complicated as Wash, but still fucking complicated.
✘ AGENT NEW YORK / Sean ▻ howkickassiamHistory: Epsilon let slip rather early on that he's a backup of the real Church, putting his relationship with York in a very awkward place right from the get-go. Chief encouraged York to be some sort of stabilizing influence for the little AI, since Delta and York are about the only two figures on the island Epsilon has a half chance of being obedient to. York's since made every effort to remind Epsilon that he is welcome with them and to do little familyish things with him.
While Epsilon doesn't have much first-hand experience with York, Church and York's background as well as Delta's status as York's partner has Epsilon trust him implicitly.
Relationship Status: ♥
Very much uncle-and-nephew.
✘ PVT. DEXTER GRIF -1ST CLASS ▻ likeabigcatHistory: Griff Grif in his big suit of yellow orange armor is a source of only the most disinterested fascination for the little AI, if such a dichotomy were possible. He likes that Grif actually seemed happy to hear from him, until the fattie learned it wasn't the real Church and just his jackass backup.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ PFC LAVERNIUS TUCKER ▻ has_a_hardlineHistory: Because Caboose left Tucker out of most of his stories, Epsilon still knows very little about him, except that he is dumb, smells bad, and everyone hates him. Oh, and he's black. Also, thanks to life on Atia, he's learned that Tucker has a gross alien baby, and that is hi-larious.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ PVT. FRANKLIN DELANO DONUT ▻ 00donutHistory: Thanks to Caboose, Epsilon is firmly, firmly convinced Donut is a girl until it's revealed to him otherwise. So.
She hasn't been around lately. Forest, probably?
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ M808V MAIN BATTLE TANK / Sheila ▻ bullshitmetricHistory: Hasn't intro'd yet.
Relationship Status: ?
✘ MASTER CHIEF / John-117 ▻ wake_as_neededHistory: Epsilon!Church barely knows who Master Chief is by reputation and has spent even less time getting to know who he is personally. He orders Wash around, which Epsilon gets a little guilty pleasure from, but he also promoted Caboose to leader of the Blues to keep the little AI out of trouble, and that is not cool. Assface.
Relationship Status: ✖
Note: Yep... still playing both, so their only interaction has been by proxy.
✘ THE ARBITER / Thel 'Vadam ▻ arbitratingHistory: Hasn't intro'd yet.
Relationship Status: ?
✘ BLACK-ONE ▻ onelinersHistory: Hasn't intro'd yet.
Relationship Status: ?
✘ BLACK-FOUR / Victor-104 ▻ yayforusHistory: He hasn't met him yet, but Chief laid some pretty evil groundwork, setting Epsilon up as a murderously rampant AI and the like. This is gonna be interesting.
Relationship Status: ???
.panfandom ;
✘ RIVER TAM ▻ iseeoceansHistory: Epsilon's girlfriend. They met when Epsilon was in his Forerunner relic form, when he invited her over to watch cartoons with him. Later, when River announced intentions to auction her virginity, Epsilon put in a derpy bid. He was outbid twice, but the highest bidder requested River choose a partner she liked, and she chose him. They've been dating exclusively since (...because Epsilon doesn't count the thing with Caboose as cheating *cough*).
Most of Epsilon's time not spent working is spent hanging out with River. He promised her "rides anywhere you like" as part of his bid, and used a loan from RED Scout to buy a motorbike just for this purpose. He's serenaded to her from her window for Valentine's, taken her out shopping, and oh yes-- has only recently learned about condoms.
Ah, young love.
Relationship Status: ♥
Further CR will determine where their relationship goes, but for now, he likes spending time with her.
✘ RED SCOUT ▻ kinduvabigdealHistory: Epsilon and RED Scout met after the earthquake when powers were unlocked, so Scout first got to know Epsilon as the 'retarded laser box' who lost his short-term memory when struck too hard with a baseball bat.
As a human, Epsilon roomed with him and Caboose at NewFort until RScout moved in with BScout. While rooming together, RScout became aware of Epsilon's attempts to bid on River in the auction, and gave him a loan to boost his bid. Epsilon lost (but still Won The Girl) so he used the loan to buy a motorbike instead. Later, RED Scout gave Epsilon a job doing accounting (as a "human calculator") for Kallen's delivery service.
In sum: he finds the guy obnoxious and kind of exhausting but is starting to see he's got a good heart way down, so he tolerates him as something almost ALMOST like a friend. Almost. Kinda. Get out of his face. Also stole his pants once.
Awkward thing with Caboose will not be spoken of again.
(Game canon note: the TF2 and RvB casts are more or less in agreement that they come from the same universe and that the Red and Blue armies are descended from RED and BLU. Character relationships fall along those lines, generally.)
Relationship Status: ♥
A RED, and an asshole, but he's not so bad.
✘ BLU SCOUT ▻ atomicpunchHistory: Hasn't run into him much, but seems to get along with him slightly better than RED Scout, probably on account of being, you know, the same color and everything. Go our team.
Epsilon got him in trouble, but it's not his fault goddammit.
Relationship Status: ♥
BLU(e) teammate, hasn't spoken to much yet.
✘ RED SOLDIER ▻ sgt_crocketsHistory: Easily mistakes him for Sarge, and maybe that's not inappropriate, since everyone else from the 26th century does.
Epsilon asked him to make him a carved wooden Pelican. As in the drop ship. It was cute okay.
Relationship Status: ♥
Lives with, not in active conflict with.
✘ RED ENGINEER ▻ redgineerHistory: The first RED Epsilon made contact with in Atia, back when he had his monitor body. He asked Redgie if he was Simmons and Redgie asked if he was some kind of advanced sentry. Eventually, the RED Engineer asked Epsilon for help in assisting a stranded RED Sniper off a roof, using his levitating body and telekinesis.
RED Engineer has a continued interest in the machine-turned-real-boy, calling him "his" despite the Level 9000 Sentry belonging to BLU(e) team. He occasionally offers well-meaning advice and concern when the kid goes off on yet another stupid stunt.
Relationship Status: ♥
Fixing the poor kid's phone cemented Redgie's reputation as a trustworthy Odd Uncle-y Guy in Epsilon's mind, and he feels comfy trusting him.
✘ BLU ENGINEER ▻ solvin_problemsHistory: Like his RED counterpart, Epsilon has a generally good rapport with BLU Engineer. He asked him to help fix his Monitor form if he ever gets it back, and they've also kicked around a couple of ideas for the Atian versions of Mythbusters and Will It Blend.
Relationship Status: ♥
He's cool, eh, blows up toasters and doesn't afraid of anything.
✘ BLU MEDIC ▻ iamchargedHistory: Tried to teach Epsilon (and Caboose) about pregnancy and the need for condoms.
He failed on absolutely every front, including trying to draw intelligible diagrams.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ BLU PYRO ▻ hudda_huddaHistory: Despite being the main reason that Epsilon and Caboose were accepted into NewFort as honorary BLUs, he hasn't yet gotten to speak with BLU Pyro personally. Part of the problem is that Epsilon keeps vanishing at the wrong times, coming back to hear, for instance, that Pyro has taken ill and can't see anyone. He's learned more about her from others on the team than he has from her directly.
And what he's learned makes him extremely curious. She's got the same "condition" as him, after all; he wonders if getting to know her better might shed more light on how to access his own memories.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ RED SPY ▻ handsomerogueHistory: What a nice gentleman. Seriously, why are all the cool guys on RED team? With the exception of BLU Sniper, but anyway.
RED Spy suggested Epsilon try hypnosis to unlock his repressed memories, but also warned him not to accept help from anyone but a professional. He specifically mentioned not to trust RED Scout. :|
Relationship Status: ♥
PRETTY COOL GUY EH.
✘ BLU SPY ▻ fyi_iamaspyHistory: GOD WHAT A TOTAL BITCH, SERIOUSLY.
Epsilon doesn't know what BSpy's problem is. He's like a total chick every time Epsilon talks to him. He also refuses to accept that Epsilon is his leader or that their timelines are in fact connected. In short, total stalemate. Epsi's gonna go hang with the RED one instead.
Relationship Status: ♥
SERIOUSLY IS IT PMS?
✘ RED SNIPER ▻ redsnoipahHistory: The second NewFort member Epsilon met in Atia, after RED Engineer. He was recruited while a levitating Forerunner monitor to rescue RED Sniper off the NewFort roof, after it became unstable during an earthquake. Sniper was immediately paranoid, shooting the floating orb on sight and almost facing laserly annihilation until RED Engineer and Caboose calmed Epsilon down (narrowly, since the Sniper refused to stop calling him a 'thing').
Eventually Epsilon managed to get the Sniper off the roof by levitating his rifle in his arms.
Since then, RED Sniper has done nothing but continue to grind the little Blue's gears, insisting 'Thing' is an acceptable nickname. All attempts to knife the bastard have so far failed.
Relationship Status: ✖
Should've just let him rot back on that roof.
✘ BLU SNIPER ▻ itsdecafHistory: Okay.
BLU Sniper was one of the first NewFort members Epsilon met upon moving into the warehouse with Caboose. He was drawn at first by his rifle, as though innately attracted to it, but then started pressing the Sniper for information about how to best handle being human. Which led to a conversation on sex while the older man oiled down a long, long rifle, which led to... well. An end to that particular discussion.
Anyway, despite an awkward beginning, BLU Sniper soon became one of Epsilon's trusted sources of information, leading to 'write access:' Sniper will tell him things, and Epsilon will accept them, almost unquestioningly. This comes at a cost, namely that Epsilon's grown increasingly attached to the man, entrusting him with ever stranger questions.
Starting with Epsilon's kidnapping, BLU Sniper's started to take on more of a protector/father role in the boy's life. At first, comfort came rather awkwardly, but after losing each other for several days in the forest (after which Epsilon came out traumatized shouting about things from his violent memories) he's grown far more hands-on and caring. For Epsilon, who is familiar with the concept of ownership/possession but not at all with this kind of no-strings-attached caring, this is one relationship he really doesn't want to let go of.
When Sniper went temporarily blind as part of a favor from the goddess, Epsilon was confronted with another strange concept: sympathy. He honestly could not deal with being so upset on behalf of another person, and still doesn't totally know what to make of it.
Relationship Status: ♥
Surrogate father. He could hardly ask for better.
✘ BLU DEMOMAN ▻ bloodygrimfableHistory: After being turned into a girl, Epsilon discovered he had a fondness for skirts, enough to ask around for a manly variety. Demo told him where to go to find 'em.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ NAOTO SHIROGANE ▻ trapboundHistory: Interesting, if rigid, boy-girl-person living with the REDs and BLU(e)s of NewFort. Epsilon met him when he was playing piano, when Naoto invited him to play. Owing to his perfect memory, Epsilon was able to reproduce the song perfectly, except for the emotion behind it, which he didn't understand. Naoto found this rather tragic, or at least painful to listen to.
Naoto occasionally wears dresses around the warehouse, but Epsilon, obliviously, just assumed he was fully male until Naoto expressly explained it to him. What, what else was he supposed to assume?
Although, now between Naoto and BLU Pyro, Epsilon is kind of wondering if half the warehouse is a trap.
Relationship Status: ♥
Friends, still kinda formal, and maybe he's a little attracted to him/curious.
✘ ALPHONSE ELRIC ▻ thesoulboundHistory: They started out by having an argument about --well-- everything. To Al's credit, most would take Epsilon's extremely acerbic attitude as reason to skip out of a conversation early, but not this kid. He continued to talk to Epsilon and make his case despite being thrown enough douchebaggery to put anyone off their appetite for the evening.
Epsilon's given up trying to argue that alchemy is a bullshit pseudo-science, at least realizing somewhere in the back of his mind that no one will believe his own superpowers either until the next time abilities get unlocked. He's accepting alternate universes for the time being.
Relationship Status: ♥
Speaks with pretty regularly, and somehow they manage to have mostly-civil conversations lately.
✘ BUMBLEBEE ▻ beethechevyHistory: Met when powers were unlocked, when Epsilon learned that Bumblebee is a robot. An alien robot. It's just like something out of a Japanese anime!
As humans, Bumblebee offered Epsilon a job waiting tables at the Autobot-operated pool hall/bar, the Axiom.
Relationship Status: ♥
Bumblebee has more patience for the dude than he should.
✘ MAXXIE OLIVER ▻ ohhsafeHistory: He thinks Epsilon's good looking, just not good enough to pay for sex. C'est la vie. (No, don't ask the context, it was weird.)
More importantly, he's identical to Bumblebee, prompting Epsilon at one point to ask Maxxie if he's a flashclone. That is, someone's (probably Bumblebee's) spare parts. This freaked out Maxxie for about a week and sicced Artemis Fowl and Butler on the stupid, tactless little AI.
They've since gotten decently acquainted, and Maxxie did a little private strip-tease for Epsilon when they were both girls.
Relationship Status: ♥
May they take the secret to their graves.
✘ ALEXIEL ▻ cagedsanctuaryHistory: Some kind of fallen angel who doesn't really approve of Epsilon being a "god." He thinks she's way too serious and tough to talk to, honestly, but she's also patient enough to keep talking to him, which gives her major points in his book.
Relationship Status: ♥
They've traded names now! Cool.
✘ RATCHET ▻ takeme_apartHistory: A doctor recommended to him by Fran, and an Autobot like Bumblebee so that should make him all right.
They met when Epsilon started asking around for help to unlock his repressed memories. Ratchet volunteered, but advised against a quick solution (such as hypnotism). Epsilon eventually stopped seeing him once Wash explained what the gaps were about, but Ratchet asked they stay in contact.
Relationship Status: ♥
Doesn't know much about him personally, but trusts him as a professional for now.
✘ INARA SERRA ▻ hearts_of_goldHistory: Part of River's crew, but he hasn't talked to her much since she doesn't live with them at the house.
Resented being addressed as "River's mom" or "aunt." No idea why. She's totally old and married. :(
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ CAPT. MALCOLM REYNOLDS ▻ chineseforpettyHistory: The captain of River's crew. Mistook him for River's dad at first.
Not much CR at present, but he was present when Epsilon came over to date River the first time. Epsilon assured him and Zoe that he is totally rated for human insertion.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ ZOE WASHBURNE ▻ quitethewarriorHistory: Also mistook her for Zoe's mother and/or Mal's wife at first. The stern look corrected him.
That isn't the end of Epsilon's confusion, though, considering she's married to... Wash. This was made even worse during a love curse when Wash (his Wash) fell in love with Zoe, and Epsilon's files got completely messed up. Presumably he started calling Agent Washington the pilot of Serenity and told Zoe's husband he could fuck off and go back to a UNSC prison.
Relationship Status: ♥
Respects and fears.
✘ HAVEMERCY ▻ disobeyingHistory: Met when Epsilon glitched the text function on his communicator, with, erm, hilarious results. She probably still thinks he's gay.
Anyway, he thinks her name is awesome, he thinks being a giant metal firebreathing dragon is even better, and he's fine with her being a bitch because at least they can share in this being-new-to-being-human thing together. Also he taught her the brilliance of leaving flaming bags of dog shit on people's doorsteps.
The White Day incident will not be spoken of again.
Relationship Status: ♥
They are such awful influences for each other.
✘ BLACKARACHNIA ▻ bulletsandvenomHistory: SHE'S HIS BOSS, I guess. Well, one of his bosses, the one who runs the Axiom with Bumblebee. He hasn't really spoken with her outside of work but he understands she's another giant robot. A giant robot chick. Three guesses what she turns into.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ BEAUTY QUEEN ETNA ▻ etnamodeHistory: She showed up on the scene mentioning levels and ATK stats so he naturally assumed she's a video game character. He's been unable to convince of her of her own fake, digital nature. Also he's failed to see the irony.
After pegging both Caboose and BLU Scout, Epsilon is convinced she is evil incarnate and proof that There Are No Nice Girls.
Relationship Status: ✖
✘ KIA WELBEHENNA ▻ rideonmyharleyHistory: Linked a video of himself having sex with Greece. An educational video. For the benefit of everyone.
Afterward, he offered the traumatized Epsilon lessons. Epsilon responded with a big nothankyou.jpg. For now.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ PRINCESS EUPHEMIA LI BRITANNIA ▻ pacifistingHistory: He knows more about her by reputation than personally, just that she reportedly killed a lot of people, was arrested, tried, and murdered. He feels vaguely bad about tactlessly asking her about it on a first meeting, but hell, that's just the kind of retard he is.
Unbeknownst to him, Euphemia was the highest bidder on the auction for River's virginity, who began bidding out of principle to ask River to choose someone she liked, not simply whoever won. If Epsilon actually knew this about Euphie he'd be considerably humbled.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ ROLO LAMPEROUGE ▻ pretendingHistory: Sent him a guide for fixing his device when he, erm, glitched the text function. Also told Epsilon that Euphemia is a Bad, Bad Person to which Epsilon was a cross between "lol what" and "omg some other world's dirty laundry do not want."
Also said his hair was cool. And told him about the kind of shorts you can unzip to make shorter.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ JUNPEI IORI ▻ junpeisthemanHistory: Coworker with Kallen's delivery service. Once paid Epsilon an hour's wages to put his shirt back on (don't ask the circumstances).
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ KIM PINE ▻ incage_asstreqHistory: A surprisingly genre-savvy chick who seemed to have crazier adventures than even Epsilon, yet strangely isn't from a video game. She seems kinda monotone, but occasionally she's got a sarcastic edge that makes him happy to keep blabbing at her.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ THE TARDIS ▻ hisoldgirlHistory: HIS MOM! ♥
Epsilon first met the TARDIS when powers were unlocked, so he was able to check out her interior-- even attempted to sync with her systems, but the encrypted blocks on his memories prevented from completing the transfer.
She's kind of rigid, like a desaturated Delta, but that's a big reason why he doesn't experience many problems talking with her. Things got a little stranger when she decided that he was 'hers' by dint of feeling protective over him, leading Epsilon to wistfully joke about adoption papers, something which she took seriously.
She asked Wash on Epsilon's behalf about the memories Epsilon is repressing, but to date Wash hasn't told her anything about them.
Relationship Status: ♥
Exactly the kind of possessive mechanical mother he's used to.
✘ POLAND / Feliks Łukasiewicz ▻ youttlyforgotmeHistory: Completely the reason Epsilon fucked up the text settings on his device so badly he had to get RED Engineer to fix it. Also kept telling him someone would "cum and get u" if he restored his defaults. Epsilon doesn't want to know.
Also convinced the kid's a girl. Has warmed up to him/her a little after he/she agreed that skirts are cool.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ KALLEN KOUZUKI ▻ guren_mk2History: She's his boss with the courier service he works for, but he hasn't actually interacted with her yet. Hopefully she won't fire him as superfluous.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ ARTEMIS FOWL ▻ fowltemperedHistory: A case where Epsilon knows far less about a person than they do about him. Not only has Artemis sent Butler to case the AI as a person of potential interest, but he personally bid on him during the White Day auction, claiming only that he was trying to determine the other bidders' motives.
Questioning him afterwards, Epsilon has found out very little about him except he's a creeper who knows too much and secretly wants to be a girl.
As a kind of side point, before his current games, Epsilon used the same PB as this character (James McAvoy), and his current human icons are based so heavily on that actor's appearance that I included in Epsilon's info post that the two look similar. Observe:
...I'm vaguely hoping something comes of this, dude.
Relationship Status: ♥
Wary. Dude is weird.
✘ T-800 MODEL 101 / Uncle Bob ▻ terminatenomoreHistory: HIS NEW PET ROBOT! :D
Epsilon's in the process of updating his slang dictionaries. He also explained alternate universes to him. Badly.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ SURUGA KANBARU ▻ doihavepantiesHistory: She's just like this huge pillar of confusion for Epsilon, introducing him to both the phenomenon of girls getting off to two boys together, and girls who like other girls. For how poorly she explained it, he still thinks that lesbians and gay men have sex the exact same way, somehow.
Relationship Status: I DON'T HAVE A RATING FOR THIS.
✘ DEADPOOL / Wade Wilson ▻ talksickoHistory: Proof positive that Epsilon's male role models always go from bad to worse.
After failing to convince the X-man that he was a god, Epsilon compromised at superhero and wormed his way into a sidekick role. Deadpool declared his sidekick name 'Shotacon' on account of how tsundere he was. Drunken themesong writing may have been involved.
Relationship Status: ♥
I SMELL SITCOM.
✘ NAZI GERMANY / Ludwig ▻ totaldeutschHistory: Was absolutely convinced Ludwig was just in character as a Nazi for some anime convention. The meta burns us, precious.
Later, Epsilon decided that he was a Nazi zombie and thus, Atia should begin developing a Nazi Plan in case there's ever an invasion of undead fascists.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ ANNALEE CALL ▻ feelslikerealHistory: EVIL WHORE VAMPIRE SPACE LESBIAN WHO'S STEALING HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND AND HIS BEST FRIEND.
AND SHE'S A LYING DECEITFUL BITCH WHO MADE ALL OF THAT UP TOO!!
...no, j/k, she's just a whiteblooded gynoid chick who loves messing with him too much. Not that he'll ever learn.
Relationship Status: ?!?!
[do we have significant CR and I failed to include you? Comment below!]
T H E . C O D E ;
♥ - Neutral to dislike. People he doesn't know enough about.
♥ - Tolerable. Enough said.
♥ - Friend. People he talks to on a regular basis and considers worth his time.
♥ - Ally/close friend. People he's able to confide in and trust with the important things.
♥ - Crush. People who are subject to his infatuation.
♥ - Love. People he truly, deeply loves, even if he sucks at showing it.
✖ - Enemies. People he generally dislikes.
✖ - Kill on sight. People he totally despises.
[ last updated: 04.18.2010 ]
A B S O L U T E . T H R E S H O L D x absolute_hold
.canonmates ;
✘ AGENT WASHINGTON / David ▻ exprojectHistory: In this background, Wash and Epsilon were a productive team for a short period before Epsilon's sanity completely degraded, and Wash continues to hold onto guilt for having, on some level, failed him. Epsilon, meanwhile, is convinced Wash wants only to hand him over to the authorities and still condemns him as a reject, leading to some major inferiority issues and need to prove himself. Epsilon feels awkward being around him and if cornered will try to shout his way out of it.
Despite this, when Epsilon was kidnapped Wash was panicked, even fracturing for a moment before recovering to mount a rescue operation.
Relationship Status: ♥ / ✖
Very, very father-and-rebellious-teenage-son.
[ GONE ] ✘ THE ALPHA / Pvt. Leonard L. Church ▻ overmoodHistory: The fucking Alpha. It's hard to have simple, easily-delineated feelings about the person you're a backup of. He's the most integral part of Epsilon's being and for that reason he's fiercely protective of him, nominally. By the same token, his Church simulation is prideful and territorial, and hasn't taken well to the revelation that Wash let the Alpha inside his head.
Relationship Status: ♥ / ♥
How would you feel about your 'dad' walking in seeing you're trying on all his clothes? Awkward turtles. :C
✘ INTELLIGENCE PROGRAM DELTA ▻ alaspooryorkHistory: Because of Epsilon's unique case of MPD, he's never too far from his siblings. However, he's aware that Delta and the others have most likely been erased, a fact which saddens him because it's like losing most of himself.
...So imagine his surprise/elation/confusion/faint annoyance at being put off when Delta showed back up, alive and well. But it's cool! He takes Epsilon's side against Wash in arguments, and that is part of why Epsilon loves him best.
Delta joined Master Chief and Wash's rescue party to retrieve Epsilon when he was kidnapped. He'd like some quiet time with his sibling when this is all done with.
(In AT, Delta currently occupies Agent Maine's vegetative body. Kinda creepy, I know. 8D)
Relationship Status: ♥
Bros before hos.
[ GONE ] ✘ MASTER CHIEF / John-117 ▻ wake_as_neededHistory: None, although Chief has gotten the low-down on Epsilon's nature.
He's also the one who got the rescue operation going to retrieve Epsilon when he was captured. But as far as Chief is concerned at this point, he's just helping retrieve a rampant AI and classified UNSC property.
Relationship Status: ♥
No interaction. As I play both characters, it will probably stay this way.
.panfandom ;
[ GONE ] ✘ MARCUS WRIGHT ▻ equalsdeathHistory: Epsilon witnessed Marcus pop out of his grave on the network and astutely identified him as a zombie. Marcus disliked this. Actually, Marcus dislikes virtually everything out of the little AI's voicebox, but that doesn't stop him.
Marcus also somehow got himself kidnapped and on the moon with Epsilon. Good thing they're the only two that don't need to breathe.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ SPIKE SPIEGEL ▻ 7livesleftHistory: Met over the network before Epsilon's kidnapping at the hands of Dan Smith and Stein. At first was confused why the guy just came up and talked to him.
Seems a nice guy, and didn't give him any flak about his telekinesis. He can stay.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ DAN SMITH ▻ cannotrestHistory: Dan Smith, on Franken Stein's directions, came to Valhalla to search for a 'Leonard Church' with a familiar of the Light element. Once on the scene, he sized up his quarry, left, and came back with a butterfly net.
I'm not kidding. A butterfly net.
Dan succeeded in capturing Epsilon, not without a fuss, and lost his eyebrows for his trouble.
Relationship Status: ✖
Somehow, Epsilon doesn't appreciate people who kidnap his ass.
✘ DR. FRANKEN STEIN ▻ exsectHistory: He released a post on the network surveying people about their familiars, intent to find a full set of the Nuadorian elements. Epsilon pinged him and Dan as a Light element candidate. When Epsilon learned from Stein that they had plans to kidnap him, Epsilon declared them bad guys and refused to cooperate. Stein seemed a little huffy about being painted with the same broad brush as Dan in this matter.
Relationship Status: ✖
BIRDS OF A FEATHER, MAN. He doesn't care what Stein's reasons are.
✘ TAMAKI ▻ cacoethicHistory: Some random weird guy Epsilon talked to on the network, who suddenly took a huge interest in his nature as an AI. Freaked the boy out.
Relationship Status: ✖
YOU'VE SCARED THE BABY.
✘ HEINE RAMMSTEINER ▻ nebenmondHistory: TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT.
Relationship Status:
.npcs ;
✘ PRITHVI ▻History: Threatened to eat him. Didn't seem deterred by the hard shell.
Relationship Status: ???
[that's all he's met so far...]
A T I A . A M A T . O M N E S x amatomnes
.canonmates ;
✘ AGENT WASHINGTON / David ▻ recoveryoneHistory: Epsilon has a different relationship/background with this Wash than with the one at Absolute Threshold. In this background, the two are far more antagonistic, with Wash being far colder and less sympathetic (although part of him still cares deep down, the bastard). Despite wanting very little to do with each other, they're slowly, slowly adjusting to being around one another, and can even have a civil conversation if they really, really try.
For Epsilon's part, he really wants Wash to acknowledge him, but at the same time refuses to show weakness or dependency. He feels rejected and broken (which is quite true) and now that Wash has explicitly told him that he malfunctioned inside his partner, he really feels like shit.
Epsilon compensates for it by being the hugest dick to Wash you could possibly imagine.
Relationship Status: ♥ / ✖
It's motherfucking complicated.
✘ INTELLIGENCE PROGRAM DELTA ▻ assistantlyHistory: Basically the same as in AT. Delta is Epsilon's favorite sibling, and he's absolutely thrilled to be able to actually hug and do brotherly things with him now.
He keeps in close contact with him on Atia, even after Delta moved out to live with York. When Delta announced plans to produce a guide for residents transitioning to a human body, Epsilon proposed the name for it: So You're Made of Meat.
Relationship Status: ♥
Naked bed-cuddling is TOTALLY OKAY. THEY'RE RELATED. AND AI.
✘ PVT. MICHAEL J. CABOOSE ▻ achievablesHistory: Epsilon feels he owes a great debt to Caboose, both for successfully getting him out of Command and for helping him (re?)-construct his Alpha personality and "memories." He knows he can rely on him utterly.
After some initial struggles to get Caboose to meet people, Epsilon is proud that his BFF is now mostly self-sufficient for getting his collar taken care of, and actually has a job. The fact that Caboose's girlfriend is a vampire space lesbian (aka Annalee Call) is less pleasing, but maybe Epsilon's just jealous.
Relationship Status: ♥
Epsilon firmly believes he is Caboose's best friend and will do way more for him than the real Church would.
✘ PFC DICK SIMMONS ▻ what_a_dickHistory: Prior to Atia, Epsilon only knew of Simmons through Caboose's stories, which painted Simmons and the rest of Red team as inept cowards. He's vaguely aware that Simmons is The Smart One but being as he's Red, this can't mean much. To top it off, after discovering Simmons' dirty fanfic and reading it aloud on the network, their relationship has been... mutual-bordering-on-murderous antagonism ever since.
And some other things. Let's just say that Simmons is starting to wonder if this is gay or not.
Relationship Status: ✖ / ♥
WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT IT.
✘ AGENT TEXAS / Allison ▻ guntogoldHistory: Epsilon is aware that Tex is an AI, remembering her just as much as the others in his production line. However, owing to the Church construct, he's simultaneously aware of her history with "him" as a human, inasmuch as any of it was ever related to Caboose. He doesn't know how they met, for instance, or why exactly they broke up. Epsilon's backbone system would love nothing so much as to spend more time with her, considering they're "the same" in a way, but the Church personality defaults to 'argumentative' and thus it stays. It's an easy state to default to, given she kidnapped him on their first meeting and most of their conversations boil down to her hating his face.
Still, she's concerned for him on some level, if only insofar as she accepts he's valuable to righting the crimes of Freelancer and he does, in some way, relate to Church. When he was traumatized by the ghosts in the forest she chewed out Sniper for losing him, and suggested countermeasures to prevent it happening in the future.
For that reason, thanks to Tex, Epsilon's collar is now fitted with the tracking device from his MJOLNIR suit. As well as a kitty bell.
Relationship Status: ♥ / ✖
Not nearly as complicated as Wash, but still fucking complicated.
✘ AGENT NEW YORK / Sean ▻ howkickassiamHistory: Epsilon let slip rather early on that he's a backup of the real Church, putting his relationship with York in a very awkward place right from the get-go. Chief encouraged York to be some sort of stabilizing influence for the little AI, since Delta and York are about the only two figures on the island Epsilon has a half chance of being obedient to. York's since made every effort to remind Epsilon that he is welcome with them and to do little familyish things with him.
While Epsilon doesn't have much first-hand experience with York, Church and York's background as well as Delta's status as York's partner has Epsilon trust him implicitly.
Relationship Status: ♥
Very much uncle-and-nephew.
✘ PVT. DEXTER GRIF -1ST CLASS ▻ likeabigcatHistory: Griff Grif in his big suit of yellow orange armor is a source of only the most disinterested fascination for the little AI, if such a dichotomy were possible. He likes that Grif actually seemed happy to hear from him, until the fattie learned it wasn't the real Church and just his jackass backup.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ PFC LAVERNIUS TUCKER ▻ has_a_hardlineHistory: Because Caboose left Tucker out of most of his stories, Epsilon still knows very little about him, except that he is dumb, smells bad, and everyone hates him. Oh, and he's black. Also, thanks to life on Atia, he's learned that Tucker has a gross alien baby, and that is hi-larious.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ PVT. FRANKLIN DELANO DONUT ▻ 00donutHistory: Thanks to Caboose, Epsilon is firmly, firmly convinced Donut is a girl until it's revealed to him otherwise. So.
She hasn't been around lately. Forest, probably?
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ M808V MAIN BATTLE TANK / Sheila ▻ bullshitmetricHistory: Hasn't intro'd yet.
Relationship Status: ?
✘ MASTER CHIEF / John-117 ▻ wake_as_neededHistory: Epsilon!Church barely knows who Master Chief is by reputation and has spent even less time getting to know who he is personally. He orders Wash around, which Epsilon gets a little guilty pleasure from, but he also promoted Caboose to leader of the Blues to keep the little AI out of trouble, and that is not cool. Assface.
Relationship Status: ✖
Note: Yep... still playing both, so their only interaction has been by proxy.
✘ THE ARBITER / Thel 'Vadam ▻ arbitratingHistory: Hasn't intro'd yet.
Relationship Status: ?
✘ BLACK-ONE ▻ onelinersHistory: Hasn't intro'd yet.
Relationship Status: ?
✘ BLACK-FOUR / Victor-104 ▻ yayforusHistory: He hasn't met him yet, but Chief laid some pretty evil groundwork, setting Epsilon up as a murderously rampant AI and the like. This is gonna be interesting.
Relationship Status: ???
.panfandom ;
✘ RIVER TAM ▻ iseeoceansHistory: Epsilon's girlfriend. They met when Epsilon was in his Forerunner relic form, when he invited her over to watch cartoons with him. Later, when River announced intentions to auction her virginity, Epsilon put in a derpy bid. He was outbid twice, but the highest bidder requested River choose a partner she liked, and she chose him. They've been dating exclusively since (...because Epsilon doesn't count the thing with Caboose as cheating *cough*).
Most of Epsilon's time not spent working is spent hanging out with River. He promised her "rides anywhere you like" as part of his bid, and used a loan from RED Scout to buy a motorbike just for this purpose. He's serenaded to her from her window for Valentine's, taken her out shopping, and oh yes-- has only recently learned about condoms.
Ah, young love.
Relationship Status: ♥
Further CR will determine where their relationship goes, but for now, he likes spending time with her.
✘ RED SCOUT ▻ kinduvabigdealHistory: Epsilon and RED Scout met after the earthquake when powers were unlocked, so Scout first got to know Epsilon as the 'retarded laser box' who lost his short-term memory when struck too hard with a baseball bat.
As a human, Epsilon roomed with him and Caboose at NewFort until RScout moved in with BScout. While rooming together, RScout became aware of Epsilon's attempts to bid on River in the auction, and gave him a loan to boost his bid. Epsilon lost (but still Won The Girl) so he used the loan to buy a motorbike instead. Later, RED Scout gave Epsilon a job doing accounting (as a "human calculator") for Kallen's delivery service.
In sum: he finds the guy obnoxious and kind of exhausting but is starting to see he's got a good heart way down, so he tolerates him as something almost ALMOST like a friend. Almost. Kinda. Get out of his face. Also stole his pants once.
Awkward thing with Caboose will not be spoken of again.
(Game canon note: the TF2 and RvB casts are more or less in agreement that they come from the same universe and that the Red and Blue armies are descended from RED and BLU. Character relationships fall along those lines, generally.)
Relationship Status: ♥
A RED, and an asshole, but he's not so bad.
✘ BLU SCOUT ▻ atomicpunchHistory: Hasn't run into him much, but seems to get along with him slightly better than RED Scout, probably on account of being, you know, the same color and everything. Go our team.
Epsilon got him in trouble, but it's not his fault goddammit.
Relationship Status: ♥
BLU(e) teammate, hasn't spoken to much yet.
✘ RED SOLDIER ▻ sgt_crocketsHistory: Easily mistakes him for Sarge, and maybe that's not inappropriate, since everyone else from the 26th century does.
Epsilon asked him to make him a carved wooden Pelican. As in the drop ship. It was cute okay.
Relationship Status: ♥
Lives with, not in active conflict with.
✘ RED ENGINEER ▻ redgineerHistory: The first RED Epsilon made contact with in Atia, back when he had his monitor body. He asked Redgie if he was Simmons and Redgie asked if he was some kind of advanced sentry. Eventually, the RED Engineer asked Epsilon for help in assisting a stranded RED Sniper off a roof, using his levitating body and telekinesis.
RED Engineer has a continued interest in the machine-turned-real-boy, calling him "his" despite the Level 9000 Sentry belonging to BLU(e) team. He occasionally offers well-meaning advice and concern when the kid goes off on yet another stupid stunt.
Relationship Status: ♥
Fixing the poor kid's phone cemented Redgie's reputation as a trustworthy Odd Uncle-y Guy in Epsilon's mind, and he feels comfy trusting him.
✘ BLU ENGINEER ▻ solvin_problemsHistory: Like his RED counterpart, Epsilon has a generally good rapport with BLU Engineer. He asked him to help fix his Monitor form if he ever gets it back, and they've also kicked around a couple of ideas for the Atian versions of Mythbusters and Will It Blend.
Relationship Status: ♥
He's cool, eh, blows up toasters and doesn't afraid of anything.
✘ BLU MEDIC ▻ iamchargedHistory: Tried to teach Epsilon (and Caboose) about pregnancy and the need for condoms.
He failed on absolutely every front, including trying to draw intelligible diagrams.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ BLU PYRO ▻ hudda_huddaHistory: Despite being the main reason that Epsilon and Caboose were accepted into NewFort as honorary BLUs, he hasn't yet gotten to speak with BLU Pyro personally. Part of the problem is that Epsilon keeps vanishing at the wrong times, coming back to hear, for instance, that Pyro has taken ill and can't see anyone. He's learned more about her from others on the team than he has from her directly.
And what he's learned makes him extremely curious. She's got the same "condition" as him, after all; he wonders if getting to know her better might shed more light on how to access his own memories.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ RED SPY ▻ handsomerogueHistory: What a nice gentleman. Seriously, why are all the cool guys on RED team? With the exception of BLU Sniper, but anyway.
RED Spy suggested Epsilon try hypnosis to unlock his repressed memories, but also warned him not to accept help from anyone but a professional. He specifically mentioned not to trust RED Scout. :|
Relationship Status: ♥
PRETTY COOL GUY EH.
✘ BLU SPY ▻ fyi_iamaspyHistory: GOD WHAT A TOTAL BITCH, SERIOUSLY.
Epsilon doesn't know what BSpy's problem is. He's like a total chick every time Epsilon talks to him. He also refuses to accept that Epsilon is his leader or that their timelines are in fact connected. In short, total stalemate. Epsi's gonna go hang with the RED one instead.
Relationship Status: ♥
SERIOUSLY IS IT PMS?
✘ RED SNIPER ▻ redsnoipahHistory: The second NewFort member Epsilon met in Atia, after RED Engineer. He was recruited while a levitating Forerunner monitor to rescue RED Sniper off the NewFort roof, after it became unstable during an earthquake. Sniper was immediately paranoid, shooting the floating orb on sight and almost facing laserly annihilation until RED Engineer and Caboose calmed Epsilon down (narrowly, since the Sniper refused to stop calling him a 'thing').
Eventually Epsilon managed to get the Sniper off the roof by levitating his rifle in his arms.
Since then, RED Sniper has done nothing but continue to grind the little Blue's gears, insisting 'Thing' is an acceptable nickname. All attempts to knife the bastard have so far failed.
Relationship Status: ✖
Should've just let him rot back on that roof.
✘ BLU SNIPER ▻ itsdecafHistory: Okay.
BLU Sniper was one of the first NewFort members Epsilon met upon moving into the warehouse with Caboose. He was drawn at first by his rifle, as though innately attracted to it, but then started pressing the Sniper for information about how to best handle being human. Which led to a conversation on sex while the older man oiled down a long, long rifle, which led to... well. An end to that particular discussion.
Anyway, despite an awkward beginning, BLU Sniper soon became one of Epsilon's trusted sources of information, leading to 'write access:' Sniper will tell him things, and Epsilon will accept them, almost unquestioningly. This comes at a cost, namely that Epsilon's grown increasingly attached to the man, entrusting him with ever stranger questions.
Starting with Epsilon's kidnapping, BLU Sniper's started to take on more of a protector/father role in the boy's life. At first, comfort came rather awkwardly, but after losing each other for several days in the forest (after which Epsilon came out traumatized shouting about things from his violent memories) he's grown far more hands-on and caring. For Epsilon, who is familiar with the concept of ownership/possession but not at all with this kind of no-strings-attached caring, this is one relationship he really doesn't want to let go of.
When Sniper went temporarily blind as part of a favor from the goddess, Epsilon was confronted with another strange concept: sympathy. He honestly could not deal with being so upset on behalf of another person, and still doesn't totally know what to make of it.
Relationship Status: ♥
Surrogate father. He could hardly ask for better.
✘ BLU DEMOMAN ▻ bloodygrimfableHistory: After being turned into a girl, Epsilon discovered he had a fondness for skirts, enough to ask around for a manly variety. Demo told him where to go to find 'em.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ NAOTO SHIROGANE ▻ trapboundHistory: Interesting, if rigid, boy-girl-person living with the REDs and BLU(e)s of NewFort. Epsilon met him when he was playing piano, when Naoto invited him to play. Owing to his perfect memory, Epsilon was able to reproduce the song perfectly, except for the emotion behind it, which he didn't understand. Naoto found this rather tragic, or at least painful to listen to.
Naoto occasionally wears dresses around the warehouse, but Epsilon, obliviously, just assumed he was fully male until Naoto expressly explained it to him. What, what else was he supposed to assume?
Although, now between Naoto and BLU Pyro, Epsilon is kind of wondering if half the warehouse is a trap.
Relationship Status: ♥
Friends, still kinda formal, and maybe he's a little attracted to him/curious.
✘ ALPHONSE ELRIC ▻ thesoulboundHistory: They started out by having an argument about --well-- everything. To Al's credit, most would take Epsilon's extremely acerbic attitude as reason to skip out of a conversation early, but not this kid. He continued to talk to Epsilon and make his case despite being thrown enough douchebaggery to put anyone off their appetite for the evening.
Epsilon's given up trying to argue that alchemy is a bullshit pseudo-science, at least realizing somewhere in the back of his mind that no one will believe his own superpowers either until the next time abilities get unlocked. He's accepting alternate universes for the time being.
Relationship Status: ♥
Speaks with pretty regularly, and somehow they manage to have mostly-civil conversations lately.
✘ BUMBLEBEE ▻ beethechevyHistory: Met when powers were unlocked, when Epsilon learned that Bumblebee is a robot. An alien robot. It's just like something out of a Japanese anime!
As humans, Bumblebee offered Epsilon a job waiting tables at the Autobot-operated pool hall/bar, the Axiom.
Relationship Status: ♥
Bumblebee has more patience for the dude than he should.
✘ MAXXIE OLIVER ▻ ohhsafeHistory: He thinks Epsilon's good looking, just not good enough to pay for sex. C'est la vie. (No, don't ask the context, it was weird.)
More importantly, he's identical to Bumblebee, prompting Epsilon at one point to ask Maxxie if he's a flashclone. That is, someone's (probably Bumblebee's) spare parts. This freaked out Maxxie for about a week and sicced Artemis Fowl and Butler on the stupid, tactless little AI.
They've since gotten decently acquainted, and Maxxie did a little private strip-tease for Epsilon when they were both girls.
Relationship Status: ♥
May they take the secret to their graves.
✘ ALEXIEL ▻ cagedsanctuaryHistory: Some kind of fallen angel who doesn't really approve of Epsilon being a "god." He thinks she's way too serious and tough to talk to, honestly, but she's also patient enough to keep talking to him, which gives her major points in his book.
Relationship Status: ♥
They've traded names now! Cool.
✘ RATCHET ▻ takeme_apartHistory: A doctor recommended to him by Fran, and an Autobot like Bumblebee so that should make him all right.
They met when Epsilon started asking around for help to unlock his repressed memories. Ratchet volunteered, but advised against a quick solution (such as hypnotism). Epsilon eventually stopped seeing him once Wash explained what the gaps were about, but Ratchet asked they stay in contact.
Relationship Status: ♥
Doesn't know much about him personally, but trusts him as a professional for now.
✘ INARA SERRA ▻ hearts_of_goldHistory: Part of River's crew, but he hasn't talked to her much since she doesn't live with them at the house.
Resented being addressed as "River's mom" or "aunt." No idea why. She's totally old and married. :(
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ CAPT. MALCOLM REYNOLDS ▻ chineseforpettyHistory: The captain of River's crew. Mistook him for River's dad at first.
Not much CR at present, but he was present when Epsilon came over to date River the first time. Epsilon assured him and Zoe that he is totally rated for human insertion.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ ZOE WASHBURNE ▻ quitethewarriorHistory: Also mistook her for Zoe's mother and/or Mal's wife at first. The stern look corrected him.
That isn't the end of Epsilon's confusion, though, considering she's married to... Wash. This was made even worse during a love curse when Wash (his Wash) fell in love with Zoe, and Epsilon's files got completely messed up. Presumably he started calling Agent Washington the pilot of Serenity and told Zoe's husband he could fuck off and go back to a UNSC prison.
Relationship Status: ♥
Respects and fears.
✘ HAVEMERCY ▻ disobeyingHistory: Met when Epsilon glitched the text function on his communicator, with, erm, hilarious results. She probably still thinks he's gay.
Anyway, he thinks her name is awesome, he thinks being a giant metal firebreathing dragon is even better, and he's fine with her being a bitch because at least they can share in this being-new-to-being-human thing together. Also he taught her the brilliance of leaving flaming bags of dog shit on people's doorsteps.
The White Day incident will not be spoken of again.
Relationship Status: ♥
They are such awful influences for each other.
✘ BLACKARACHNIA ▻ bulletsandvenomHistory: SHE'S HIS BOSS, I guess. Well, one of his bosses, the one who runs the Axiom with Bumblebee. He hasn't really spoken with her outside of work but he understands she's another giant robot. A giant robot chick. Three guesses what she turns into.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ BEAUTY QUEEN ETNA ▻ etnamodeHistory: She showed up on the scene mentioning levels and ATK stats so he naturally assumed she's a video game character. He's been unable to convince of her of her own fake, digital nature. Also he's failed to see the irony.
After pegging both Caboose and BLU Scout, Epsilon is convinced she is evil incarnate and proof that There Are No Nice Girls.
Relationship Status: ✖
✘ KIA WELBEHENNA ▻ rideonmyharleyHistory: Linked a video of himself having sex with Greece. An educational video. For the benefit of everyone.
Afterward, he offered the traumatized Epsilon lessons. Epsilon responded with a big nothankyou.jpg. For now.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ PRINCESS EUPHEMIA LI BRITANNIA ▻ pacifistingHistory: He knows more about her by reputation than personally, just that she reportedly killed a lot of people, was arrested, tried, and murdered. He feels vaguely bad about tactlessly asking her about it on a first meeting, but hell, that's just the kind of retard he is.
Unbeknownst to him, Euphemia was the highest bidder on the auction for River's virginity, who began bidding out of principle to ask River to choose someone she liked, not simply whoever won. If Epsilon actually knew this about Euphie he'd be considerably humbled.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ ROLO LAMPEROUGE ▻ pretendingHistory: Sent him a guide for fixing his device when he, erm, glitched the text function. Also told Epsilon that Euphemia is a Bad, Bad Person to which Epsilon was a cross between "lol what" and "omg some other world's dirty laundry do not want."
Also said his hair was cool. And told him about the kind of shorts you can unzip to make shorter.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ JUNPEI IORI ▻ junpeisthemanHistory: Coworker with Kallen's delivery service. Once paid Epsilon an hour's wages to put his shirt back on (don't ask the circumstances).
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ KIM PINE ▻ incage_asstreqHistory: A surprisingly genre-savvy chick who seemed to have crazier adventures than even Epsilon, yet strangely isn't from a video game. She seems kinda monotone, but occasionally she's got a sarcastic edge that makes him happy to keep blabbing at her.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ THE TARDIS ▻ hisoldgirlHistory: HIS MOM! ♥
Epsilon first met the TARDIS when powers were unlocked, so he was able to check out her interior-- even attempted to sync with her systems, but the encrypted blocks on his memories prevented from completing the transfer.
She's kind of rigid, like a desaturated Delta, but that's a big reason why he doesn't experience many problems talking with her. Things got a little stranger when she decided that he was 'hers' by dint of feeling protective over him, leading Epsilon to wistfully joke about adoption papers, something which she took seriously.
She asked Wash on Epsilon's behalf about the memories Epsilon is repressing, but to date Wash hasn't told her anything about them.
Relationship Status: ♥
Exactly the kind of possessive mechanical mother he's used to.
✘ POLAND / Feliks Łukasiewicz ▻ youttlyforgotmeHistory: Completely the reason Epsilon fucked up the text settings on his device so badly he had to get RED Engineer to fix it. Also kept telling him someone would "cum and get u" if he restored his defaults. Epsilon doesn't want to know.
Also convinced the kid's a girl. Has warmed up to him/her a little after he/she agreed that skirts are cool.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ KALLEN KOUZUKI ▻ guren_mk2History: She's his boss with the courier service he works for, but he hasn't actually interacted with her yet. Hopefully she won't fire him as superfluous.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ ARTEMIS FOWL ▻ fowltemperedHistory: A case where Epsilon knows far less about a person than they do about him. Not only has Artemis sent Butler to case the AI as a person of potential interest, but he personally bid on him during the White Day auction, claiming only that he was trying to determine the other bidders' motives.
Questioning him afterwards, Epsilon has found out very little about him except he's a creeper who knows too much and secretly wants to be a girl.
As a kind of side point, before his current games, Epsilon used the same PB as this character (James McAvoy), and his current human icons are based so heavily on that actor's appearance that I included in Epsilon's info post that the two look similar. Observe:
...I'm vaguely hoping something comes of this, dude.
Relationship Status: ♥
Wary. Dude is weird.
✘ T-800 MODEL 101 / Uncle Bob ▻ terminatenomoreHistory: HIS NEW PET ROBOT! :D
Epsilon's in the process of updating his slang dictionaries. He also explained alternate universes to him. Badly.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ SURUGA KANBARU ▻ doihavepantiesHistory: She's just like this huge pillar of confusion for Epsilon, introducing him to both the phenomenon of girls getting off to two boys together, and girls who like other girls. For how poorly she explained it, he still thinks that lesbians and gay men have sex the exact same way, somehow.
Relationship Status: I DON'T HAVE A RATING FOR THIS.
✘ DEADPOOL / Wade Wilson ▻ talksickoHistory: Proof positive that Epsilon's male role models always go from bad to worse.
After failing to convince the X-man that he was a god, Epsilon compromised at superhero and wormed his way into a sidekick role. Deadpool declared his sidekick name 'Shotacon' on account of how tsundere he was. Drunken themesong writing may have been involved.
Relationship Status: ♥
I SMELL SITCOM.
✘ NAZI GERMANY / Ludwig ▻ totaldeutschHistory: Was absolutely convinced Ludwig was just in character as a Nazi for some anime convention. The meta burns us, precious.
Later, Epsilon decided that he was a Nazi zombie and thus, Atia should begin developing a Nazi Plan in case there's ever an invasion of undead fascists.
Relationship Status: ♥
✘ ANNALEE CALL ▻ feelslikerealHistory: EVIL WHORE VAMPIRE SPACE LESBIAN WHO'S STEALING HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND AND HIS BEST FRIEND.
AND SHE'S A LYING DECEITFUL BITCH WHO MADE ALL OF THAT UP TOO!!
...no, j/k, she's just a whiteblooded gynoid chick who loves messing with him too much. Not that he'll ever learn.
Relationship Status: ?!?!
[do we have significant CR and I failed to include you? Comment below!]
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