Keep on keepin' on.
Trying to keep up with this LJ thing is a challenge -- things are pretty good, which means there's less to talk about. I saw this quote from Kobain the other day: "Thanks for the tragedy, I need it for my art." It's true sometimes that banking frustration and anxiety means you get to spend it on making something as a way to process things. I haven't been making things. I need to make some things. But the payoff is that I get to come home to a nice life every day and waste time being mellow -- which also isn't bad. "Life is a series of trade-offs," says Chrissie, and yep, it is.
There's some minor junk I could grumble about, I suppose. My various internet ports of call are ramping up the scolding feminist stuff, ramping up the political tribalism, ramping up the IN or OUT ultimatums, essentially. But I am not attending those conflicts, by choice. I've tried to learn how to measure what can be won in a fight before jumping into it. It means more peace, but letting more people drift by untethered to me. I think I come out ahead on that math, but it's an eerie new ability -- letting people walk out of your life. It is fascinating to watch the stakes-setting in these online tribal conflicts, though. Belonging as currency plays on some deep-rooted psychologies and is pretty vicious when wielded as a weapon. The compromises it forces within the individual can look like cognitive yoga. And some of that is good, I think*, but only when gently applied. The anonymous Internet is anything but gentle. And so, being demanded at, it's easier to smile and take two steps back. And gentler, too, I hope. Although sometimes it makes them scream louder and longer too, but that's on them.. though I will confess it makes me smile, too.
A small thing: I wanted to be in the world this weekend, so I was. I got up early Saturday, went out for a walk and bagels. Early morning Albany is charming. No traffic, no people, just you and the sound of wind and the clack of switching stop lights. Brought back foodstuffs for Chrissie, hosted a friend from my last job for the afternoon: pool, book browsing, thai food, beers. I don't take advantage of all the things Albany has to offer all that often, but it is so gratifying that it's all right here when I want it. I don't have to make a project out of it, or plan for it, or drive for hours for it. Mostly, I walk to it. I am digging this place.
And speaking of place, I talked to a buddy in Italy this weekend; I'm going to try to see if I can muster up the $ to go visit him before he leaves next semester. Day trips to Eastern Europe, maybe a visit to Venice, if I can make this happen it'll be a good time. Ancient things, man. Not all this transient built-to-fail blinking lights garbage of today, but the tenacious analog: stone, and arch, and wall, and bridge. That's the stuff. We'll see if finances allow.
Other than that? We're in finals week here, meaning that there will be a crescendo and quick exhale of stress this week -- in students and faculty and administration collectively. Next week I ask for nothing from my folks, we need the rest. Goob Thanksgiving is coming up, and it'll be good to see the Oz crew over movies and eats. Our 1942 Monument Men game is being put together, which will represent a return to some regular gaming/GMing for me.. gotta flex those long unused muscles. I'm thinking about jumping on the Guild Wars II bandwagon for the week of Xmas break -- something to do while watching the snow coming down and drinking some hot tea. And Chrissie and I are still hoping to get down to GA for a long visit this summer as well.. I will admit that I have been remembering the old LARPs with some fondness.
All in all, things are pretty dandy. Ever onward.
*I err on the side of community over individuality in the social mathematics, of course.. although only to a certain extent. But the manner in which this is done is important: Asking is the open hand, demanding is the closed fist.
There's some minor junk I could grumble about, I suppose. My various internet ports of call are ramping up the scolding feminist stuff, ramping up the political tribalism, ramping up the IN or OUT ultimatums, essentially. But I am not attending those conflicts, by choice. I've tried to learn how to measure what can be won in a fight before jumping into it. It means more peace, but letting more people drift by untethered to me. I think I come out ahead on that math, but it's an eerie new ability -- letting people walk out of your life. It is fascinating to watch the stakes-setting in these online tribal conflicts, though. Belonging as currency plays on some deep-rooted psychologies and is pretty vicious when wielded as a weapon. The compromises it forces within the individual can look like cognitive yoga. And some of that is good, I think*, but only when gently applied. The anonymous Internet is anything but gentle. And so, being demanded at, it's easier to smile and take two steps back. And gentler, too, I hope. Although sometimes it makes them scream louder and longer too, but that's on them.. though I will confess it makes me smile, too.
A small thing: I wanted to be in the world this weekend, so I was. I got up early Saturday, went out for a walk and bagels. Early morning Albany is charming. No traffic, no people, just you and the sound of wind and the clack of switching stop lights. Brought back foodstuffs for Chrissie, hosted a friend from my last job for the afternoon: pool, book browsing, thai food, beers. I don't take advantage of all the things Albany has to offer all that often, but it is so gratifying that it's all right here when I want it. I don't have to make a project out of it, or plan for it, or drive for hours for it. Mostly, I walk to it. I am digging this place.
And speaking of place, I talked to a buddy in Italy this weekend; I'm going to try to see if I can muster up the $ to go visit him before he leaves next semester. Day trips to Eastern Europe, maybe a visit to Venice, if I can make this happen it'll be a good time. Ancient things, man. Not all this transient built-to-fail blinking lights garbage of today, but the tenacious analog: stone, and arch, and wall, and bridge. That's the stuff. We'll see if finances allow.
Other than that? We're in finals week here, meaning that there will be a crescendo and quick exhale of stress this week -- in students and faculty and administration collectively. Next week I ask for nothing from my folks, we need the rest. Goob Thanksgiving is coming up, and it'll be good to see the Oz crew over movies and eats. Our 1942 Monument Men game is being put together, which will represent a return to some regular gaming/GMing for me.. gotta flex those long unused muscles. I'm thinking about jumping on the Guild Wars II bandwagon for the week of Xmas break -- something to do while watching the snow coming down and drinking some hot tea. And Chrissie and I are still hoping to get down to GA for a long visit this summer as well.. I will admit that I have been remembering the old LARPs with some fondness.
All in all, things are pretty dandy. Ever onward.
*I err on the side of community over individuality in the social mathematics, of course.. although only to a certain extent. But the manner in which this is done is important: Asking is the open hand, demanding is the closed fist.