[fic: doa]
feminine mystique
dragon age: origins. fem!tabris, shale. the Cadash Thaig is explored by the Grey Warden and an irritated golem. Pray for the darkspawn ~1500 | pg13
Kyrie Tabris paused, her chainmail boots scrapping loose the bright green moss that grew over the hardened stone of the quiet, deadened thaig. She scrubbed at the blood caking on her cheeks and wiped her small hand across the mossy rocks to her side. Her pointed ears picked a small grunt of displeasure, but-sensing no darkspawn nearby-found her eyes drawn towards the tallest of her companions.
“You know, Shale,” she said pleasantly, her voice cheery in spite of the squalor and obvious destruction before her. “I think this thaig is an improvement from the others we’ve been to.”
It was supposed to be comforting. Shale, her stone body betraying no emotions, muttered in a sour voice, “You mean, filled with vermin and infested with darkspawn? Ah, yes, an upgrade to be sure.”
“I just meant-you know-it’s better than all the dark and the brown we’ve been seeing. And all spiders.” She shuddered and then, as if on a second thought, shoved an annoyed hand into the messy tangles of ginger-colored haired that were coming loose from her pigtails-like always.
“I found the spiders amusing,” Shale told her. “Their bones made very satisfying crunching noises.”
“But they smelled,” Kyrie protested.
“I have no nose.”
“Oh.” Argument deflated, Kyrie looked down at her boots. “Right.”
Behind her, Alistair was looting the last of the darkspawn bodies they had slain. Wynne was mending a long gash along his back as he did so, shaking her head and saying something distinctly like “fool boy, always running headfirst into danger.” Kyrie had taken the lead, mostly because Shale didn’t see the point in stopping to allow her traveling companions to catch up.
Not that Shale needed any protection, Kyrie knew, but who on earth would protect people from Shale? Kyrie had learned her lesson, when she had let Shale go ahead after Ruck and had found the stone giant within moments of crushing the unhinged dwarf’s head.
She kept two paces behind the massive golem, the ground vibrating beneath her feet as Shale stomped through the thaig. Shale never really walked anywhere. She stomped. She trudged. She lumbered. Walking implying a certain lightness of foot. Shale didn’t see the point in it.
“Ah, Shale?” The golem wasn’t in a hurry to answer and, rolling her eyes, Kyrie said loudly, “Are you still mad at me, Shale?”
“And why would it think that?” the golem wondered.
“Well, that rock did only miss the back of my head by an inch.” She held two fingers apart to demonstrate.
“Ah, yes. I missed.”
Kyrie decided it was best not to ask what exactly Shale missed. “It just seems like that you might be angry. At me.”
“Pah. Why would I waste energy on something as insignificant as it?”
Kyrie sighed. “Right. Still angry then.”
Shale stomped off again. Wynne finished patching up the last of Alistair’s wounds and they joined the young Grey Warden as she looked sourly after the golem.
“You know,” Alistair drawled, superiority in his tone. “I said leave the golem where it was, said it was dangerous, said we didn’t need it but nooooo someone just had to wake it up, didn’t she?”
“Well, I thought-‘hey a golem, that could be useful!’ C’mon, you have to admit the idea of charging into a line of darkspawn astride a massive golem sounded so awesome. Besides, I spent a lot of money on that control rob. I didn’t want it go to waste.”
“If I remember correctly,” Alistair said with a grin, shaking a hand through his shorn blonde hair. Blood splattered across Kyrie’s arm and she hissed at him. “We didn’t pay anything for it at all. It was free. Thrown at us, really.”
Kyrie frowned. “Fine, then it’s the principal of the matter. We had to hike pretty far to find him.”
“Both of you need to stop it.” Wynne had put on her best matronly look and both Alistair and Kyrie flinched guiltily. “I’m sure this is not easy for poor Shale. This place holds a lot of memories.”
“Wynne, she tried to throw a rock at me.”
“I’m sure you’re exaggerating.”
“No, no. I’m pretty sure she intended to kill me. Or at least maim me, terribly. And when I say rock, mind, I don’t mean like a pebble-a harmless little peddle? I would have been like ‘oh thanks, Shale! How did you know about the rock collection I had as a child?' Or even a rock that fits in your fist. Actually, the term ‘boulder’ would probably more appropriate. So Shale threw a boulder. At my head.”
Wynne rolled her eyes.
“On purpose,” Kyrie added.
“Well, she is crazy,” Alistair agreed. “Though helpful when we run into darkspawn. Did you see the last battle? They were running from her.”
“She seems upset… more so than usual.” Wynne cast a judging eye down on Kyrie. “You didn’t say anything, did you?”
“I, er, well no! I mean, I didn’t think I’d said anything but-” Wynne crossed arms over her chest and lifted an eyebrow. “Okay, okay I’ll go talk her! But if this little excursion ends with one less Grey Warden you’ve no one to blame but yourself!”
Jogging up to the golem as Alistair and Wynne hovered a respectful distance behind (cowards, Kyrie thought bitterly, they just don’t want to be crushed!) Kyrie told to the golem, “You know, Shale, I think you’re being completely unfair!”
As her father, two cousins, best friend, and everyone in the Alienage would attest Kyrie had never been very good at apologies, or humility. Or just knowing when to shut her mouth.
“Does it?” Shale didn’t halt her pace, and her expansive stone chest rumbled with laughter. “Well, this should be amusing. Do explain.”
“How was I supposed to know you were a girl?” Placing her hands on her hips, Kyrie stomped on the ground a bit herself. “You don’t exactly have it stapled across your forehead.”
“I was not aware it was needed. I never wondered your sex.”
“Yeah, but that’s different.”
“Oh, how so?”
“Well…” Kyrie frowned up at the golem, pretty sure she was being made fun of. “I have girl parts.”
“Girl parts?”
“Breasts.”
Shale paused, turned her head, and eyed the said ‘girl parts’. “Oh, yes. I see them now. I must have overlooked them.”
“Low blow,” she muttered as she resisted the urge to cross her arms over her less than impressive bosom. “And, you know, I can reproduce.”
“Can you now? I was under the impression that Grey Wardens were practically sterile. Darkspawn blood, and everything.”
“That’s-you…” What were the odds that a stone stature could actually outsmart her? Kyrie had grown used to being the smart mouth in their party. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I just-well, it’s surprising. That’s all. I hadn’t thought of golems in terms of gender before. And you’re not very girly, I guess.”
“Well, perhaps that’s understandable. Shall we do something girlish together? I understand playing with each other hair is considered a female hobby. Shall I braid its hair? Or perhaps we could go out and buy large quantities of impractical shoes?”
“You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”
“My, does its observation skills know no bounds?”
“Maker save me from female golems!”
“Wait what?” Alistair called suddenly from the back, eyes growing wide as he blinked between Kyrie and Shale. “Shale’s a girl? Really?”
Wynne slapped a hand against her forehead as silence stretched out from Shale. Alistair shifted nervously on his feet as the golem stared at him.
“Good news,” Shale said suddenly. “I’m not longer mad at it.” Then she started stomping again.
“If I were you,” Kyrie advised as Alistair came up to her side. She gave him a pat on his slumped shoulders and tried really, really hard not to smile-Shale wasn’t mad at her anymore. “I’d stay behind Shale. She might throw a rock-or boulder-at you!”
Somewhere up ahead Shale’s war cry resounded (“death to all pigeons!”) and Alistair and Kyrie shared a look.
“Oh good,” Alistair said. “She’s found some darkspawn. Hopefully she can take her rage out on them and, well, not me.”
“Come along, you two,” Wynne said, already heading in the direction of Shale’s cries, her skirt bunched in her hand. “We can’t let her fight all by herself.”
“Actually, we could. She’s quite capable.” Wynne glared. Kyrie dropped her head. “I’m just saying, that’s all. Of course we’ll go help Shale. Suggest we let her take it alone? No. What are you, crazy?”
“We just have to be careful to stay out of the line of fire,” Alistair added.
“Do you think we should find her a bow or something?” Kyrie wondered, mostly to herself. “So no else asks and gets pulverized? Leliana bought a few in Deremin. I think blue would be such a nice color on her. Bring out the, ah, grey of… her whole body.”
“I think she’d prefer a horde of darkspawn to slaughter,” Alistair told her.
Kyrie sighed. “She’s going to be hard to find a birthday present for, I can just tell.”
dragon age: origins. fem!tabris, shale. the Cadash Thaig is explored by the Grey Warden and an irritated golem. Pray for the darkspawn ~1500 | pg13
Kyrie Tabris paused, her chainmail boots scrapping loose the bright green moss that grew over the hardened stone of the quiet, deadened thaig. She scrubbed at the blood caking on her cheeks and wiped her small hand across the mossy rocks to her side. Her pointed ears picked a small grunt of displeasure, but-sensing no darkspawn nearby-found her eyes drawn towards the tallest of her companions.
“You know, Shale,” she said pleasantly, her voice cheery in spite of the squalor and obvious destruction before her. “I think this thaig is an improvement from the others we’ve been to.”
It was supposed to be comforting. Shale, her stone body betraying no emotions, muttered in a sour voice, “You mean, filled with vermin and infested with darkspawn? Ah, yes, an upgrade to be sure.”
“I just meant-you know-it’s better than all the dark and the brown we’ve been seeing. And all spiders.” She shuddered and then, as if on a second thought, shoved an annoyed hand into the messy tangles of ginger-colored haired that were coming loose from her pigtails-like always.
“I found the spiders amusing,” Shale told her. “Their bones made very satisfying crunching noises.”
“But they smelled,” Kyrie protested.
“I have no nose.”
“Oh.” Argument deflated, Kyrie looked down at her boots. “Right.”
Behind her, Alistair was looting the last of the darkspawn bodies they had slain. Wynne was mending a long gash along his back as he did so, shaking her head and saying something distinctly like “fool boy, always running headfirst into danger.” Kyrie had taken the lead, mostly because Shale didn’t see the point in stopping to allow her traveling companions to catch up.
Not that Shale needed any protection, Kyrie knew, but who on earth would protect people from Shale? Kyrie had learned her lesson, when she had let Shale go ahead after Ruck and had found the stone giant within moments of crushing the unhinged dwarf’s head.
She kept two paces behind the massive golem, the ground vibrating beneath her feet as Shale stomped through the thaig. Shale never really walked anywhere. She stomped. She trudged. She lumbered. Walking implying a certain lightness of foot. Shale didn’t see the point in it.
“Ah, Shale?” The golem wasn’t in a hurry to answer and, rolling her eyes, Kyrie said loudly, “Are you still mad at me, Shale?”
“And why would it think that?” the golem wondered.
“Well, that rock did only miss the back of my head by an inch.” She held two fingers apart to demonstrate.
“Ah, yes. I missed.”
Kyrie decided it was best not to ask what exactly Shale missed. “It just seems like that you might be angry. At me.”
“Pah. Why would I waste energy on something as insignificant as it?”
Kyrie sighed. “Right. Still angry then.”
Shale stomped off again. Wynne finished patching up the last of Alistair’s wounds and they joined the young Grey Warden as she looked sourly after the golem.
“You know,” Alistair drawled, superiority in his tone. “I said leave the golem where it was, said it was dangerous, said we didn’t need it but nooooo someone just had to wake it up, didn’t she?”
“Well, I thought-‘hey a golem, that could be useful!’ C’mon, you have to admit the idea of charging into a line of darkspawn astride a massive golem sounded so awesome. Besides, I spent a lot of money on that control rob. I didn’t want it go to waste.”
“If I remember correctly,” Alistair said with a grin, shaking a hand through his shorn blonde hair. Blood splattered across Kyrie’s arm and she hissed at him. “We didn’t pay anything for it at all. It was free. Thrown at us, really.”
Kyrie frowned. “Fine, then it’s the principal of the matter. We had to hike pretty far to find him.”
“Both of you need to stop it.” Wynne had put on her best matronly look and both Alistair and Kyrie flinched guiltily. “I’m sure this is not easy for poor Shale. This place holds a lot of memories.”
“Wynne, she tried to throw a rock at me.”
“I’m sure you’re exaggerating.”
“No, no. I’m pretty sure she intended to kill me. Or at least maim me, terribly. And when I say rock, mind, I don’t mean like a pebble-a harmless little peddle? I would have been like ‘oh thanks, Shale! How did you know about the rock collection I had as a child?' Or even a rock that fits in your fist. Actually, the term ‘boulder’ would probably more appropriate. So Shale threw a boulder. At my head.”
Wynne rolled her eyes.
“On purpose,” Kyrie added.
“Well, she is crazy,” Alistair agreed. “Though helpful when we run into darkspawn. Did you see the last battle? They were running from her.”
“She seems upset… more so than usual.” Wynne cast a judging eye down on Kyrie. “You didn’t say anything, did you?”
“I, er, well no! I mean, I didn’t think I’d said anything but-” Wynne crossed arms over her chest and lifted an eyebrow. “Okay, okay I’ll go talk her! But if this little excursion ends with one less Grey Warden you’ve no one to blame but yourself!”
Jogging up to the golem as Alistair and Wynne hovered a respectful distance behind (cowards, Kyrie thought bitterly, they just don’t want to be crushed!) Kyrie told to the golem, “You know, Shale, I think you’re being completely unfair!”
As her father, two cousins, best friend, and everyone in the Alienage would attest Kyrie had never been very good at apologies, or humility. Or just knowing when to shut her mouth.
“Does it?” Shale didn’t halt her pace, and her expansive stone chest rumbled with laughter. “Well, this should be amusing. Do explain.”
“How was I supposed to know you were a girl?” Placing her hands on her hips, Kyrie stomped on the ground a bit herself. “You don’t exactly have it stapled across your forehead.”
“I was not aware it was needed. I never wondered your sex.”
“Yeah, but that’s different.”
“Oh, how so?”
“Well…” Kyrie frowned up at the golem, pretty sure she was being made fun of. “I have girl parts.”
“Girl parts?”
“Breasts.”
Shale paused, turned her head, and eyed the said ‘girl parts’. “Oh, yes. I see them now. I must have overlooked them.”
“Low blow,” she muttered as she resisted the urge to cross her arms over her less than impressive bosom. “And, you know, I can reproduce.”
“Can you now? I was under the impression that Grey Wardens were practically sterile. Darkspawn blood, and everything.”
“That’s-you…” What were the odds that a stone stature could actually outsmart her? Kyrie had grown used to being the smart mouth in their party. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I just-well, it’s surprising. That’s all. I hadn’t thought of golems in terms of gender before. And you’re not very girly, I guess.”
“Well, perhaps that’s understandable. Shall we do something girlish together? I understand playing with each other hair is considered a female hobby. Shall I braid its hair? Or perhaps we could go out and buy large quantities of impractical shoes?”
“You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”
“My, does its observation skills know no bounds?”
“Maker save me from female golems!”
“Wait what?” Alistair called suddenly from the back, eyes growing wide as he blinked between Kyrie and Shale. “Shale’s a girl? Really?”
Wynne slapped a hand against her forehead as silence stretched out from Shale. Alistair shifted nervously on his feet as the golem stared at him.
“Good news,” Shale said suddenly. “I’m not longer mad at it.” Then she started stomping again.
“If I were you,” Kyrie advised as Alistair came up to her side. She gave him a pat on his slumped shoulders and tried really, really hard not to smile-Shale wasn’t mad at her anymore. “I’d stay behind Shale. She might throw a rock-or boulder-at you!”
Somewhere up ahead Shale’s war cry resounded (“death to all pigeons!”) and Alistair and Kyrie shared a look.
“Oh good,” Alistair said. “She’s found some darkspawn. Hopefully she can take her rage out on them and, well, not me.”
“Come along, you two,” Wynne said, already heading in the direction of Shale’s cries, her skirt bunched in her hand. “We can’t let her fight all by herself.”
“Actually, we could. She’s quite capable.” Wynne glared. Kyrie dropped her head. “I’m just saying, that’s all. Of course we’ll go help Shale. Suggest we let her take it alone? No. What are you, crazy?”
“We just have to be careful to stay out of the line of fire,” Alistair added.
“Do you think we should find her a bow or something?” Kyrie wondered, mostly to herself. “So no else asks and gets pulverized? Leliana bought a few in Deremin. I think blue would be such a nice color on her. Bring out the, ah, grey of… her whole body.”
“I think she’d prefer a horde of darkspawn to slaughter,” Alistair told her.
Kyrie sighed. “She’s going to be hard to find a birthday present for, I can just tell.”