As an introvert I also find those repeated, casual interactions with large numbers of people on Twitter, chat, and at parties / Chicken to be sort of ... repeated failures to really connect. They have a place in my life, but overall they can become draining. So I wholeheartedly sympathize with your urge to unplug.
There was a time when I needed the sense of connection so urgently that I was willing to sink my time and energy into those low-value mediums, in the hopes of getting a few morsels of meaningful connection out of them, from anyone available (I barely even cared who it was.)
In retrospect this was a product of my insecurity--- I needed tons of external validation, all the time, because I couldn't provide it for myself. But now that I am doing a better job of believing that I am good enough to exist without being told as much by other people, I don't need those interactions as much.
You don't talk about being an introvert in this post, but I think you clearly are? Introverts are simply drained by interactions with others, and need to get away from that in order to recharge. That's how we're wired. Going to something like Chicken seems like a nightmare scenario for an introvert--- many people to worry about, but no real chance of a meaningful connection because the froth of social interaction is just too chaotic. There's nothing there but emotional drag.
(Which is not to say that there's anything bad about the people present; you could probably connect deeply with several of them one on one if only you tried. But Chicken is not the place to try.)
So this was a long way of saying: I'd encourage you to forgive yourself for not wanting to have constant, distracting, casual, superficial social contact in the way that furry culture finds customary. Introverts aren't wired that way. No need to spend more than tiny, carefully measured amounts of time in the social hurricane. I certainly don't. :)
I didn't mention it no. That's because I'm not sure. :P There are times when I actually desperately crave the company of others, and can go and enjoy being around a large crowd. There are other times when I desperately crave being completely alone. It comes and goes, though the latter is more prevalent than the former, and there are triggers that can make one or the other instantly true. For instance, going to a gathering and having no one to talk to or nothing to talk about. Sometimes the currents of conversation aren't cooperative for sailing on them. In cases like that, I might go immediately introvert. The problem is that I don't leave when I should. I stick around until I feel like crap, THEN I leave. I need to realize when the switch flips and remove myself, not sit around beating myself up about. That just leaves me feeling horrible in the end. :P
But yeah, I get what you're saying. It's definitely something I'll be keeping in mind, and trying to reconcile. Thanks! :) *hug*
There was a time when I needed the sense of connection so urgently that I was willing to sink my time and energy into those low-value mediums, in the hopes of getting a few morsels of meaningful connection out of them, from anyone available (I barely even cared who it was.)
In retrospect this was a product of my insecurity--- I needed tons of external validation, all the time, because I couldn't provide it for myself. But now that I am doing a better job of believing that I am good enough to exist without being told as much by other people, I don't need those interactions as much.
You don't talk about being an introvert in this post, but I think you clearly are? Introverts are simply drained by interactions with others, and need to get away from that in order to recharge. That's how we're wired. Going to something like Chicken seems like a nightmare scenario for an introvert--- many people to worry about, but no real chance of a meaningful connection because the froth of social interaction is just too chaotic. There's nothing there but emotional drag.
(Which is not to say that there's anything bad about the people present; you could probably connect deeply with several of them one on one if only you tried. But Chicken is not the place to try.)
So this was a long way of saying: I'd encourage you to forgive yourself for not wanting to have constant, distracting, casual, superficial social contact in the way that furry culture finds customary. Introverts aren't wired that way. No need to spend more than tiny, carefully measured amounts of time in the social hurricane. I certainly don't. :)
Hope that helps!
*hugs*
- R
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But yeah, I get what you're saying. It's definitely something I'll be keeping in mind, and trying to reconcile. Thanks! :) *hug*
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