Just sick.
I moved into my apartment three days ago. I'm already going home because I got a weird call from one of my doctors.
I have a newfound obsession with Tootsie Rolls. I'm eating some while watching Paper Heart on Netflix. It's pretty ridiculous, but I've been exhausted, so it doesn't really matter what I watch because it all is just sort of ambient noise.
I thought that I was just tired like normal tired. And then I thought I was just tired like mono/some other virus tired. And now I'm fucked.
It's like.. doctors try to be reassuring by saying shit like "It could be all of these other things, but really, it will be this normal thing, since that's what is normal for someone your age." But I've been getting all of the "normal" things knocked down one by one since I was little, basically.
So long story short, it's not my normal tired. I'm not sleeping all the time for the reasons that I usually assume are the reasons. I have all of the signs of mono in terms of bloodwork, but nearly none of the physical symptoms (except being tired). Oh, and even the bloodwork explicitly says that I tested negative for mono.
I need more tests. I'm leaving in the morning for Jersey to get more tests. More blood, more tests, more ultrasounds, sonograms, mri's. More restrictions. No alcohol for good this time, no tylenol, benadryl. Not to mention sleeping upwards of 12 hours a day, moving really slowly, spending most of my days in bed because I don't feel like I have the energy to do anything else.
I'm tired. I'd like a hug, but cuddling in my bed is fine for now.
I have a newfound obsession with Tootsie Rolls. I'm eating some while watching Paper Heart on Netflix. It's pretty ridiculous, but I've been exhausted, so it doesn't really matter what I watch because it all is just sort of ambient noise.
I thought that I was just tired like normal tired. And then I thought I was just tired like mono/some other virus tired. And now I'm fucked.
It's like.. doctors try to be reassuring by saying shit like "It could be all of these other things, but really, it will be this normal thing, since that's what is normal for someone your age." But I've been getting all of the "normal" things knocked down one by one since I was little, basically.
So long story short, it's not my normal tired. I'm not sleeping all the time for the reasons that I usually assume are the reasons. I have all of the signs of mono in terms of bloodwork, but nearly none of the physical symptoms (except being tired). Oh, and even the bloodwork explicitly says that I tested negative for mono.
I need more tests. I'm leaving in the morning for Jersey to get more tests. More blood, more tests, more ultrasounds, sonograms, mri's. More restrictions. No alcohol for good this time, no tylenol, benadryl. Not to mention sleeping upwards of 12 hours a day, moving really slowly, spending most of my days in bed because I don't feel like I have the energy to do anything else.
I'm tired. I'd like a hug, but cuddling in my bed is fine for now.