one-shot ficlet, "COUNCIL BLUES" (BtVS/Undercover Blues)
I caught a re-run of the 1993 film "Undercover Blues" on cable this morning (my umpteenth re-watching of this film, which remains one of my perennial favorites), while I was enjoying a lazy day in honor of my birthday, and I was suddenly inspired to write a quick Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover fic based on that film.
If you've never seen the film, I highly recommend that you DO see it at your earliest convenience, and this fic probably won't make much sense without at least a passing familiarity with the characters and situations.
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COUNCIL BLUES
Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS or the 1993 Dennis Quaid/Kathleen Turner film "Undercover Blues", but I'm celebrating my birthday today by playing with their characters and situations. This one-shot is written for my own enjoyment only, not for profit, and blessed is the one who takes no legal offense at me! :)
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"Hey, Willow, is this a bad time?" Xander's voice came clearly over the speaker phone in Willow's temporary Cleveland office.
Nearly two years after the last battle of Sunnydale, much about the New Slayers and Watchers Council was still temporary and ad hoc.
Their continuing reliance on a lot of improvisation was preferable, Willow supposed, to the set-in-stone traditionalism of the Old Watchers' Council, which had directly contributed to the deaths of so many Slayers over the years, as well as their own spectacular destruction in the end. But still, a little permanence would be a welcome change, if they could ever recruit enough competent people so that each of the original Scoobies and most experienced Slayers no longer had to do several different jobs and maintain temporary offices on multiple continents.
Willow almost let a wistful sigh escape her lips. To have only one job, and maybe one office and one permanent home base, and to really be able to focus on rebuilding their magical knowledge base and support staff . . . wouldn't that be nice?
And if wishes were horses, we'd all eat steak, Willow thought, resorting to one of the sillier lines from Xander's favorite short-lived TV show.
Speaking of which, . . . what was Xander's question, again? Oops.
"No, it's not a bad time at all, Xander. How're things in . . . --"
Wait, where was he this month? Oh, right, contacting the latest crop of newly Called Slayers along the Eastern Seaboard of North America. It was printed plain as day on the magical "Where are we now?" chart she'd made for each of the Scoobies to keep on their various desks and laptops.
"-- northern Virginia? Did you find the new Slayer in the Washington, D.C. area okay?"
"Yeah, I found her. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. She's twelve and a half years old, and her name is Jane Louise . . . and that's really all her parents want me to tell you over the phone. At least, until we get a few issues ironed out."
"Issues?" she asked. Xander's voice sounded a little strained, but not in the "Oh-my-God-I'm-about-to-be-eaten-by-my-date" or "Some-Big-Bad-is-about-to-end-the-world" way, so Willow kept her voice calm and only mildly curious, while she prepared the spell to remote-activate Xander's "Beam-me-up-Scotty" emergency teleport amulet, just in case. "Her parents didn't believe you about the whole 'world is older than you know' Slayer back-story? Even though you have Vi with you for demonstration purposes?"
"No, they totally believed me. In fact, they'd recently run into an old 'friend' of the family who'd managed to get himself vamped and then collect a few feeble-minded minions to attack their home."
Xander snorted in what sounded like real amusement, which allayed some of Willow's anxiety about his safety. Not all of it, because she knew Xander could sound genuinely amused even while sitting on a time-bomb, but some of her anxiety, certainly.
"If you can believe it, this newbie vamp had taken to calling himself 'Muerte,' as if that would impress anyone."
There was a pause, and Willow could hear the murmur of another voice in the background, before Xander spoke again, apparently addressing that other person. "Seriously? He called himself 'Muerte' even before he was turned?" Xander chuckled out loud that time, and Willow's worry was turned down another big notch.
"So, anyway, the parents were only slightly surprised when they watched their little Jane Louise lay a major smackdown on 'Muerte' and a couple of his buddies, when they ambushed the family getting out of their car in the driveway a few nights ago. Mom and dad were a little more surprised when daughter put a broken tree branch through each of the bad guys' hearts and they turned to dust on the spot. But now I've explained what happened, and that's not the problem."
Willow found herself genuinely curious. "Well, then, what is the problem?"
"Mom and dad want in," Xander said flatly. "They're okay with letting Jane Louise come to Slayer orientation and basic training in Cleveland this year, as long as they can come, too. For the whole course. And possibly longer."
"You mean, they want to chaperone, to make sure she's all right, because she'll be younger than many of the other girls?" Willow didn't see that as a big problem.
Yes, over-protective parents could get in the way of a Slayer's training and therefore her safety, but they could find ways to reassure and accommodate most reasonable parental concerns, especially in the case of a 12-year-old. Just because Willow's own parents had pretty much left her to her own devices when she was that age didn't mean that she couldn't understand and even admire other parents who took a more active role in their children's lives. Must be nice to have parents willing to spend so much time and energy in order to share their daughter's interests.
But "No," Xander insisted, "that's not what I mean. I mean, they want ALL THE WAY IN. They want to enroll in the basic Slaying course right alongside their daughter, to make sure that the martial arts and weapons training we offer is up to their exacting standards. Plus, they don't want their daughter's other skills to grow rusty from lack of practice. You know, 'girl stuff', like covert surveillance, breaking and entering, interrogation techniques, ambush tactics -- that sort of thing."
Willow was torn between surprise and relief, as she was finally able to figure out what that strange, strained tone was in Xander's voice: glee.
Xander was gleeful, but trying to play it cool, both for her benefit and also, she suspected, for the benefit of the listening and oh-so-intriguing parents of Slayer Jane Louise.
Willow couldn't remember the last time Xander had had the occasion or freedom to be overtly gleeful. It had been too long.
Xander's voice over the phone continued.
"You see, Jane Louise's parents are international espionage experts--" two voices in the background interrupted briefly, apparently to correct what Xander was saying "-- Right, semi-retired espionage experts. Mom is an expert in weapons, explosives, and martial arts. Dad's also good at martial arts, though Mom insists that he's a lousy shot. However, Dad also excels in strategy, planning, psychological warfare, logistics -- things like that. And they've been teaching their little Jane Louise all those skills since birth, practically."
A new, young voice broke into the conversation, apparently feeling that she'd been talked about rather than talked to for more than long enough, and Xander surrendered his cell phone to her without protest.
"It's like Daddy always says, Miss Willow: 'The world's a bad old place, but you and me and mom, we're gonna make it better.'"
Having had her say, the young Slayer handed the phone back to Xander with a murmured 'Thanks'.
"I'm here with the family in their living room, Willow, and I have to say, I think this could work. Imagine if James Bond had married Xena, Warrior Princess, and then they spent twelve years learning how to pass on their skills to gifted little girls. Now that they know about the supernatural threat, they ALL want to help. It could be we've found two good candidates to join the Council, as well as a very promising junior Slayer.
"So, what do you think? Should we call Buffy and Giles?"
Willow couldn't help the bright smile that broke across her face, and wouldn't have tried to suppress it if she could.
"Xander, do you know what this means?"
"I think so, Brain, but why don't you tell me what you think it means?"
"It means that this could be the start of Chapter Three in the Lives of the Scoobies, in which we finally have enough people to share the work, and we might actually be able to take a vacation, one of these years!"
* * *
At the other end of the phone connection, in a spacious living room in Arlington, Virginia, Jane and Jefferson Blue shared a special smile with each other, having clearly heard Willow's last comment over Xander's cellphone.
"Chapter Three," Jane echoed quietly to Jeff, "in which Jane and Jeff and their little pumpkin fight the forces of darkness."
"The sane and semi-retired life was getting a little dull, anyway, wasn't it?" Jeff asked. Jane's reply was a passionate kiss, ignoring the exaggerated gagging sounds from their offspring in the same room, and Xander's hasty exit to the kitchen, to tie up a few loose ends with Willow.
The Blues were moving to Cleveland, and the Hellmouth wouldn't know what hit it.
_____________________
If you've never seen the film, I highly recommend that you DO see it at your earliest convenience, and this fic probably won't make much sense without at least a passing familiarity with the characters and situations.
--------------------------
COUNCIL BLUES
Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS or the 1993 Dennis Quaid/Kathleen Turner film "Undercover Blues", but I'm celebrating my birthday today by playing with their characters and situations. This one-shot is written for my own enjoyment only, not for profit, and blessed is the one who takes no legal offense at me! :)
--------------------------
"Hey, Willow, is this a bad time?" Xander's voice came clearly over the speaker phone in Willow's temporary Cleveland office.
Nearly two years after the last battle of Sunnydale, much about the New Slayers and Watchers Council was still temporary and ad hoc.
Their continuing reliance on a lot of improvisation was preferable, Willow supposed, to the set-in-stone traditionalism of the Old Watchers' Council, which had directly contributed to the deaths of so many Slayers over the years, as well as their own spectacular destruction in the end. But still, a little permanence would be a welcome change, if they could ever recruit enough competent people so that each of the original Scoobies and most experienced Slayers no longer had to do several different jobs and maintain temporary offices on multiple continents.
Willow almost let a wistful sigh escape her lips. To have only one job, and maybe one office and one permanent home base, and to really be able to focus on rebuilding their magical knowledge base and support staff . . . wouldn't that be nice?
And if wishes were horses, we'd all eat steak, Willow thought, resorting to one of the sillier lines from Xander's favorite short-lived TV show.
Speaking of which, . . . what was Xander's question, again? Oops.
"No, it's not a bad time at all, Xander. How're things in . . . --"
Wait, where was he this month? Oh, right, contacting the latest crop of newly Called Slayers along the Eastern Seaboard of North America. It was printed plain as day on the magical "Where are we now?" chart she'd made for each of the Scoobies to keep on their various desks and laptops.
"-- northern Virginia? Did you find the new Slayer in the Washington, D.C. area okay?"
"Yeah, I found her. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. She's twelve and a half years old, and her name is Jane Louise . . . and that's really all her parents want me to tell you over the phone. At least, until we get a few issues ironed out."
"Issues?" she asked. Xander's voice sounded a little strained, but not in the "Oh-my-God-I'm-about-to-be-eaten-by-my-date" or "Some-Big-Bad-is-about-to-end-the-world" way, so Willow kept her voice calm and only mildly curious, while she prepared the spell to remote-activate Xander's "Beam-me-up-Scotty" emergency teleport amulet, just in case. "Her parents didn't believe you about the whole 'world is older than you know' Slayer back-story? Even though you have Vi with you for demonstration purposes?"
"No, they totally believed me. In fact, they'd recently run into an old 'friend' of the family who'd managed to get himself vamped and then collect a few feeble-minded minions to attack their home."
Xander snorted in what sounded like real amusement, which allayed some of Willow's anxiety about his safety. Not all of it, because she knew Xander could sound genuinely amused even while sitting on a time-bomb, but some of her anxiety, certainly.
"If you can believe it, this newbie vamp had taken to calling himself 'Muerte,' as if that would impress anyone."
There was a pause, and Willow could hear the murmur of another voice in the background, before Xander spoke again, apparently addressing that other person. "Seriously? He called himself 'Muerte' even before he was turned?" Xander chuckled out loud that time, and Willow's worry was turned down another big notch.
"So, anyway, the parents were only slightly surprised when they watched their little Jane Louise lay a major smackdown on 'Muerte' and a couple of his buddies, when they ambushed the family getting out of their car in the driveway a few nights ago. Mom and dad were a little more surprised when daughter put a broken tree branch through each of the bad guys' hearts and they turned to dust on the spot. But now I've explained what happened, and that's not the problem."
Willow found herself genuinely curious. "Well, then, what is the problem?"
"Mom and dad want in," Xander said flatly. "They're okay with letting Jane Louise come to Slayer orientation and basic training in Cleveland this year, as long as they can come, too. For the whole course. And possibly longer."
"You mean, they want to chaperone, to make sure she's all right, because she'll be younger than many of the other girls?" Willow didn't see that as a big problem.
Yes, over-protective parents could get in the way of a Slayer's training and therefore her safety, but they could find ways to reassure and accommodate most reasonable parental concerns, especially in the case of a 12-year-old. Just because Willow's own parents had pretty much left her to her own devices when she was that age didn't mean that she couldn't understand and even admire other parents who took a more active role in their children's lives. Must be nice to have parents willing to spend so much time and energy in order to share their daughter's interests.
But "No," Xander insisted, "that's not what I mean. I mean, they want ALL THE WAY IN. They want to enroll in the basic Slaying course right alongside their daughter, to make sure that the martial arts and weapons training we offer is up to their exacting standards. Plus, they don't want their daughter's other skills to grow rusty from lack of practice. You know, 'girl stuff', like covert surveillance, breaking and entering, interrogation techniques, ambush tactics -- that sort of thing."
Willow was torn between surprise and relief, as she was finally able to figure out what that strange, strained tone was in Xander's voice: glee.
Xander was gleeful, but trying to play it cool, both for her benefit and also, she suspected, for the benefit of the listening and oh-so-intriguing parents of Slayer Jane Louise.
Willow couldn't remember the last time Xander had had the occasion or freedom to be overtly gleeful. It had been too long.
Xander's voice over the phone continued.
"You see, Jane Louise's parents are international espionage experts--" two voices in the background interrupted briefly, apparently to correct what Xander was saying "-- Right, semi-retired espionage experts. Mom is an expert in weapons, explosives, and martial arts. Dad's also good at martial arts, though Mom insists that he's a lousy shot. However, Dad also excels in strategy, planning, psychological warfare, logistics -- things like that. And they've been teaching their little Jane Louise all those skills since birth, practically."
A new, young voice broke into the conversation, apparently feeling that she'd been talked about rather than talked to for more than long enough, and Xander surrendered his cell phone to her without protest.
"It's like Daddy always says, Miss Willow: 'The world's a bad old place, but you and me and mom, we're gonna make it better.'"
Having had her say, the young Slayer handed the phone back to Xander with a murmured 'Thanks'.
"I'm here with the family in their living room, Willow, and I have to say, I think this could work. Imagine if James Bond had married Xena, Warrior Princess, and then they spent twelve years learning how to pass on their skills to gifted little girls. Now that they know about the supernatural threat, they ALL want to help. It could be we've found two good candidates to join the Council, as well as a very promising junior Slayer.
"So, what do you think? Should we call Buffy and Giles?"
Willow couldn't help the bright smile that broke across her face, and wouldn't have tried to suppress it if she could.
"Xander, do you know what this means?"
"I think so, Brain, but why don't you tell me what you think it means?"
"It means that this could be the start of Chapter Three in the Lives of the Scoobies, in which we finally have enough people to share the work, and we might actually be able to take a vacation, one of these years!"
* * *
At the other end of the phone connection, in a spacious living room in Arlington, Virginia, Jane and Jefferson Blue shared a special smile with each other, having clearly heard Willow's last comment over Xander's cellphone.
"Chapter Three," Jane echoed quietly to Jeff, "in which Jane and Jeff and their little pumpkin fight the forces of darkness."
"The sane and semi-retired life was getting a little dull, anyway, wasn't it?" Jeff asked. Jane's reply was a passionate kiss, ignoring the exaggerated gagging sounds from their offspring in the same room, and Xander's hasty exit to the kitchen, to tie up a few loose ends with Willow.
The Blues were moving to Cleveland, and the Hellmouth wouldn't know what hit it.
_____________________