(no subject)
I'm getting really tired of my body, you know? Until around the summer of '07 I was ridiculously healthy; I'd bike or lift weights or run almost every day. My stomach started to go south in the summer of '07, I thought it was my heart, which it thankfully was not. Then I started getting dizzy spells last march; enormous, disorienting sinus pressure that I've found seems to coincide with eating, and then I started feeling short of breath. The shortness of breath is probably less worrisome than it sounds and is probably (like everything) connected to my stomach or the drugs I'm taking in some way; as there is literally nothing wrong with my breathing aside from a feeling like I'm not getting enough air sometimes.
So I went off the pills for a few weeks in November-December to see if it would help with the breathing or dizziness (no) , and eventually, when the pain and nausea got bad enough, I went back on, but have been having a lot of trouble getting back to the "miserable but not entirely intolerable" baseline I had been at. So I haven't really been able to get out much in the past two months even if I'd like to, as whenever I step out the door I feel like shit. It sucks! Even as I decide to start rebuilding some of those Social Links this year (and hopefully become capable of summoning Baphomet or something by the end of the year), my body decides that I should become a unwilling hermit all on its own!
If you were so inclined, I wouldn't worry about me too much. The doctor sure doesn't seem to be! I had an ultrasound in January, it came back completely normal, so I guess my insides aren't completely rotting away. I'm just frustrated. WHO KNOWS MAYBE IT'S ALL JUST IN MY HEAD. I did spend five years or so of this decade driving myself fucking insane, so it really isn't out of the question I suppose.
If I ever do feel as well as I did a few years ago, remind me never to take it for granted again?
So I went off the pills for a few weeks in November-December to see if it would help with the breathing or dizziness (no) , and eventually, when the pain and nausea got bad enough, I went back on, but have been having a lot of trouble getting back to the "miserable but not entirely intolerable" baseline I had been at. So I haven't really been able to get out much in the past two months even if I'd like to, as whenever I step out the door I feel like shit. It sucks! Even as I decide to start rebuilding some of those Social Links this year (and hopefully become capable of summoning Baphomet or something by the end of the year), my body decides that I should become a unwilling hermit all on its own!
If you were so inclined, I wouldn't worry about me too much. The doctor sure doesn't seem to be! I had an ultrasound in January, it came back completely normal, so I guess my insides aren't completely rotting away. I'm just frustrated. WHO KNOWS MAYBE IT'S ALL JUST IN MY HEAD. I did spend five years or so of this decade driving myself fucking insane, so it really isn't out of the question I suppose.
If I ever do feel as well as I did a few years ago, remind me never to take it for granted again?