MEMES ARE FOR FAGS
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)
✓ I miss somebody right now. (Little sister, lots of old friends, etc.)
✓ I don't watch much TV these days. (Although technically I do, but it's from a completely foreign nation and on my computer. BUT THAT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT.)
× I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses. (WATASHI WA MEGANE-KO DESU)
✓ I love to play video games. ("Love" might be a bit strong. I love it like a long-time heroin addict loves his junk.)
✓ I've tried marijuana. (I've tried it many, many times.)
✓ I've watched porn movies. (Nothing reminds you of how we're a bunch of self-important hairless apes than watching fucking porn movies.)
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (Yeah, but sometimes a little lie smooths things out in the short term.)
✓ I curse sometimes. ("Sometimes"? Doggs, I don't just curse, I'm a cursing enthusiast.)
× I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (Dread and pointlessness LEVEL UP but not much else has changed.)
× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
* * * * *
× I have broken someone's bones.
✓ I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. (Way too many than is entirely healthy)
× I hate the rain. (Fuck that noise. Rain is awesome. Thunder, however, freaks me out.)
✓ I'm paranoid at times. (Constant, relentless paranoia.)
✓ I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. (Not that I'm particularly dissatisfied with my looks, but fuck, it's free and risk free? Can't turn down a freebie.)
✓ I need/want money right now. (Who the fuck doesn't? I guess some buddhist monks or something.)
× I love sushi. (It's okay. I haven't had any really good sushi, though.)
× I talk really, really fast. (Sometimes I get ahead of myself when I'm excited, but it's mostly a slow, nerdy drawl.)
× I have fresh breath in the morning. (Anyone who checks this is probably secretly hated by all of his friends.)
✓ I have long hair. (Long enough. I look like a douchebag with short hair.)
× I have lost money in Las Vegas.
✓ I have at least one sibling. (My sister who is way more awesome than I)
✓ I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
× I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
× I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
✓ I like the way that I look. (More or less. I've been breaking out lately which kind of sucks.)
× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
✓ I am usually pessimistic. (I try not to be, but my natural state of being is fearful and nihilistic.)
✓ I have a lot of mood swings. (Not so swingy anymore, mostly it's just "oblivious" to "numb" to "crawl in a corner and die", but I guess my nervous system pretty much does it without prompting.)
✓ I think prostitution should be legalized. (If they could do it without some douchebag pimping them; all work is basically just prostitution anyway: i.e. the use of one's body for monetary compensation.)
× I slept with a roommate.
× I have a hidden talent.
× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. (I'm only hyper when excited, and I don't get excited often.)
× I have a lot of friends. (I don't make friends easily)
✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex. (I think, at least. I was very drunk and details are hazy.)
× I enjoy talking on the phone. (No)
× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (Jesus people it's more dignified to just walk around in boxers, and more comfortable at that.)
× I love to shop and/or window shop. (If I had some fuckin' money it would be pretty fun I guess.)
× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal. (I check my friends list too often though)
× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
× I have a mobile phone.
× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. (Last time was just about two years ago. I've fallen asleep drunk, but that's more my body succumbing to exhaustion than any fault of the alcohol.)
× I've rejected someone before.
× I currently like/love someone. (I wish. It was pretty good when I did have love-love type feelings for people, but I'm kind of indifferent right now.)
× I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (It's been a long time since I've felt any drive or ambition whatsoever.)
× I want to have children in the future. (I wish more total fuckups would feel as I do that it is immoral for us to have children. The dumbest man I've ever known is the first person of my general peer group to have bred, and that's depressing.)
× I have changed a diaper before.
× I've called the cops on a friend before.
× I'm not allergic to anything. (Hayfever)
✓ I have a lot to learn. (I could ironically leave this unchecked!! That would be pretty hilarious wouldn't it.)
✓ I am shy around the opposite sex. (This is such understatement that it borders on parody)
× I'm online 24/7, even as an away message. (Only about 16/7 as I can't sleep with my computer on)
× I have at least 5 away messages saved.
✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before. (I think most people have commented that ALCOHOL IS A DRUG, but yes. Nothing stronger than pot in the drug department, though, as my constitution is too weak to even do a lot of pot without going apefuck.)
✓ I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past. (I am very, very ashamed of myself.)
× I own the "South Park" movie.
× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
✓ I enjoy some country music. (Why not? The qualification here doesn't need to be stated, of course.)
× I would die for my best friends. (Who the fuck can answer this?)
✓ I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist. (With the stupidest fucking things, but yeah.)
× I have used my sexuality to advance my career. (I've tried using it to advance my "meaningful-seeming enjoyable fuckaround that would turn out to signify nothing" but that didn't work out too well.)
× I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. (I'm twenty-three, and I'm starting to look it. Come the fuck on.)
× I have dated a close friend's ex.
× I am happy at this moment. (Absolutely not)
× I'm obsessed with guys. (Only if they're adorable and in manga form)
× Democrat. (Pussies)
× Republican. (Assholes)
✓ I don't even know what I am. (In the political sense and the philisophical sense.)
× I am punk rockish. (I have some punk inclinations but I think the question is referring to a particular fashion which is entirely contrary to the actual meaning of that very short-lived movement. So fuck that noise.)
× I go for older guys/girls, not younger. (Mostly around my own age)
✓ I study for tests most of the time. (Or at least, I go through the motions.)
× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
× I can work on a car. (No, but I'm getting alright at working on my bike.)
× I love my job(s).
× I am comfortable with who I am right now. (Fuck you)
× I have more than just my ears pierced. (I can't understand piercings at all. Even ugly skin looks better than fucking chunks of metal.)
× I walk barefoot wherever I can.
× I have jumped off a bridge.
✓ I love sea turtles. (I guess so?)
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
× I plan on achieving a major goal/dream. (Do I even have any of those anymore?)
× I am proficient on a musical instrument. (Working on it.)
× I hate office jobs.
× I went to college out of state.
× I am adopted.
× I am a pyro.
× I have thrown up from crying too much.
× I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. (Maybe, but I'm too oblivious to figure it out.)
✓ I fall for the worst people. (Nah, the people I've fallen for have been pretty good people. I, on the other hand...)
✓ I adore bright colours. (Yes)
× I usually like covers better than originals. (Are we talking about bands putting their own sincere, unique spin on the original here or bands who are just slavishly adhering to the structure of the song while changing the instruments and/or effects pedals for a cynical, quick hit?)
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays. (Hate more serious, people.)
✓ I can pick up things with my toes. (I didn't think this was much of a talent?)
× I can't whistle.
× I have ridden/owned a horse.
× I still have every journal I've ever written in.
× I talk in my sleep.
× I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century. (I quite like modern medicine, thank you very much.)
✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. (That's the idea)
× I wear a toe ring. (God, what the fuck?)
× I have a tattoo.
× I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
✓ I am a caffeine junkie. (Yep)
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.
× If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder. (I am frightened of anyone who has selected this. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE, IT'S FUCKING MURDER. There are some people who need to be put away, very very far away, of course.)
× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner. (Fuck wine, beer is where it's at.)
× I'm an artist. ("Hack")
× I am ambidextrous. (Well I am in one area, but I don't think I need to talk about it.)
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed. (Just one.)
× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony. (Being naked is fun for a while, but eventually you just want to put on some fucking clothes.)
× I have terrible teeth. (Damaged, yes, but I don't think they're terrible.)
× I hate my toes. (Fucking... I don't even have the words. Jesus fuck people, get some better insecurities.)
✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me. (Yeah, you want to fight about it?)
✓ I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
× I have lived in either three different states or countries.
× I am extremely flexible. (A bit more than most dudes, but not extremely so.)
✓ I love hugs more than kisses. (While I'm sure kisses are just splendid, hugs are significant but carry much less weight than their wet, sloppy counterpart.)
× I want to own my own business.
× I smoke.
✓ I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else. (...)
× Nobody has ever said I'm normal. (People have called me normal, but usually in some frustrated attempt to cheer me up. I think they're full of shit.)
✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then. (More often than is becoming of a twenty-three year old man.)
× I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.
× I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.
✓ I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.
✓ I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds. (Not so much anymore)
× I have played strip poker with someone else before.
✓ I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help. (Sort of halfassed it. I probably do need some help though.)
× I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
× I can't stand being alone.
✓ I have at least one obsession at any given time. (Many.)
✓ I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again. (Just to make absolutely sure.)
× I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.
× I'm a judgmental asshole. (I can be, but I've really been trying not to be. I apologize a lot these days.)
× I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
× I have travelled on more than one continent.
× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.
× I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am. (Sometimes I think that the validation of others will make me feel like I'm better at whatever horseshit it is that I'm doing, but it's kind of empty and feels as if they're being insincere even if they aren't.)
× I am a Libertarian. (I agree on a few points, but generally find them to be the same kind of utopian cockgarglers as the communists they so hate.)
× I can speak more than one language. (Working on it.)
× I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be. (Only at the most inopportune times. If it's actually going to sleep at night, no way no how.)
× I would rather read than watch TV.
✓ I like reading fact more than fiction.
✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
✓ I have no piercings.
× I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.
× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.
✓ There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it. ("Emotional understanding" does not always follow "Rational understanding")
✓ I like most animals better than most people. (The official response of the socially inept loser.)
✓ I own a collection of retro games consoles. (I didn't do it on purpose, I just don't get rid of my old stuff because I still like it.)
× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver. (Go for a run, fatty.)
× I have hit someone with a dead fish. (How fuckin' wacky)
× I am compulsively honest.
✓ I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired. (Total Retardation Syndrome (TRS))
✓ I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers. (That was kind of my schtick, really.)
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex. (What the fuck does this even mean?)
× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.
× I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.
× I dislike milk.
× I obsessively wash my hands.
× I always carry something significant around with me.
× Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.
✓ I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others. (AND THEREIN LIES THE PROBLEM)
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.
× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.
✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird. (That's what being an otaku is all about)
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.
× Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed. (I try not to, but sometimes it's unavoidable.)
× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts.
✓ I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing. (It's just a job, as thankless and gross as many, many others.)
✓ I don't like to chew gum.
× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it. (Why not just make a time capsule, make sure that people know not to open it until there's fuckin' time machines, and include in the time capsule a note with your current space-time coordinates and instructions to pick you up? Seems a lot easier than waiting.)
× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.
✓ I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years. (I own all the major Nine Inch Nails albums except the most recent one.)
✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other. (Yeah, but shit, I have a problem with doing that so it's not like I expect anyone else to.)
× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.
✓ I love to sing. (More than just about anything. "Good at it" is another story.)
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up. (Too late)
✓ I have a custom-built computer. (IT'S GOT A BIG BLOCK ENGINE, TWIN CAM HEADERS, CHROME SPINNERS AND SOME SERIOUSLY SWEET RIMS, FUCKIN' SPOILER AND SHIT.)
× I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it. (Well, I wouldn't turn down being able to perform the act, but the babies themselves are a bit contentious.)
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human. (JESUS FUCK NO WHAT THE FUCK I MEAN JUST... JESUS WHO THE FUCK WROTE THIS THING WHAT GOD NO.)
× I've gone skinny-dipping.
× I've performed in three plays.
× I enjoy burritos.
× I'm Irish and loving it.
✓ I have a thing for redheads. (If you were to create a list of potentially attractive attributes in the female gender to have a thing for, I would probably have a checkmark in all the boxes.)
× I am a twin!
× Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'. (Behind the monkey bars, after school. Let's go.)
× Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
✓ I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes. (I also wish all the bad things in the world would stop being so bad and also that I could move things with my mind and turn invisible and stuff.)
× I sleep more than 12 hours a day.
✓ I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
× I need more time to myself.
✓ I wish I was more open-minded. (I'm okay on this front but there's still the occasional deep-seated irrational prejudice that pops up once in a while that I find somewhat distasteful.)
× I hope that I go really prematurely grey. (This sounds like the twist ending in a really shitty Twilight Zone episode.)
✓ I download songs from the internet. (AW MAN IT'S THE INTERNET NARCS)
× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.
× I say random things to freak people out.
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note. (Totally fuckin' LIVID here. OOOH HOW COULD THEY DO SUCH A THING. What?)
× I love playing Truth or Dare.
× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
× Music helps me remember that I am not alone. (oh man i totally know what they're saying man, it like makes so much sense to me, i can just connect and shit aw dude don't bogart that hblblblblblblblblblbl)
✓ Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems. (DODGEBALL RULES)
✓ I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.
× I can only hate someone that I love. (Jesus this is like the worst line from the worst song that could ever concievably be written. WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN?)
× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.
✓ I miss somebody right now. (Little sister, lots of old friends, etc.)
✓ I don't watch much TV these days. (Although technically I do, but it's from a completely foreign nation and on my computer. BUT THAT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT.)
× I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses. (WATASHI WA MEGANE-KO DESU)
✓ I love to play video games. ("Love" might be a bit strong. I love it like a long-time heroin addict loves his junk.)
✓ I've tried marijuana. (I've tried it many, many times.)
✓ I've watched porn movies. (Nothing reminds you of how we're a bunch of self-important hairless apes than watching fucking porn movies.)
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (Yeah, but sometimes a little lie smooths things out in the short term.)
✓ I curse sometimes. ("Sometimes"? Doggs, I don't just curse, I'm a cursing enthusiast.)
× I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (Dread and pointlessness LEVEL UP but not much else has changed.)
× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
* * * * *
× I have broken someone's bones.
✓ I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. (Way too many than is entirely healthy)
× I hate the rain. (Fuck that noise. Rain is awesome. Thunder, however, freaks me out.)
✓ I'm paranoid at times. (Constant, relentless paranoia.)
✓ I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. (Not that I'm particularly dissatisfied with my looks, but fuck, it's free and risk free? Can't turn down a freebie.)
✓ I need/want money right now. (Who the fuck doesn't? I guess some buddhist monks or something.)
× I love sushi. (It's okay. I haven't had any really good sushi, though.)
× I talk really, really fast. (Sometimes I get ahead of myself when I'm excited, but it's mostly a slow, nerdy drawl.)
× I have fresh breath in the morning. (Anyone who checks this is probably secretly hated by all of his friends.)
✓ I have long hair. (Long enough. I look like a douchebag with short hair.)
× I have lost money in Las Vegas.
✓ I have at least one sibling. (My sister who is way more awesome than I)
✓ I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
× I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
× I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
✓ I like the way that I look. (More or less. I've been breaking out lately which kind of sucks.)
× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
✓ I am usually pessimistic. (I try not to be, but my natural state of being is fearful and nihilistic.)
✓ I have a lot of mood swings. (Not so swingy anymore, mostly it's just "oblivious" to "numb" to "crawl in a corner and die", but I guess my nervous system pretty much does it without prompting.)
✓ I think prostitution should be legalized. (If they could do it without some douchebag pimping them; all work is basically just prostitution anyway: i.e. the use of one's body for monetary compensation.)
× I slept with a roommate.
× I have a hidden talent.
× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. (I'm only hyper when excited, and I don't get excited often.)
× I have a lot of friends. (I don't make friends easily)
✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex. (I think, at least. I was very drunk and details are hazy.)
× I enjoy talking on the phone. (No)
× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (Jesus people it's more dignified to just walk around in boxers, and more comfortable at that.)
× I love to shop and/or window shop. (If I had some fuckin' money it would be pretty fun I guess.)
× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal. (I check my friends list too often though)
× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
× I have a mobile phone.
× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. (Last time was just about two years ago. I've fallen asleep drunk, but that's more my body succumbing to exhaustion than any fault of the alcohol.)
× I've rejected someone before.
× I currently like/love someone. (I wish. It was pretty good when I did have love-love type feelings for people, but I'm kind of indifferent right now.)
× I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (It's been a long time since I've felt any drive or ambition whatsoever.)
× I want to have children in the future. (I wish more total fuckups would feel as I do that it is immoral for us to have children. The dumbest man I've ever known is the first person of my general peer group to have bred, and that's depressing.)
× I have changed a diaper before.
× I've called the cops on a friend before.
× I'm not allergic to anything. (Hayfever)
✓ I have a lot to learn. (I could ironically leave this unchecked!! That would be pretty hilarious wouldn't it.)
✓ I am shy around the opposite sex. (This is such understatement that it borders on parody)
× I'm online 24/7, even as an away message. (Only about 16/7 as I can't sleep with my computer on)
× I have at least 5 away messages saved.
✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before. (I think most people have commented that ALCOHOL IS A DRUG, but yes. Nothing stronger than pot in the drug department, though, as my constitution is too weak to even do a lot of pot without going apefuck.)
✓ I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past. (I am very, very ashamed of myself.)
× I own the "South Park" movie.
× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
✓ I enjoy some country music. (Why not? The qualification here doesn't need to be stated, of course.)
× I would die for my best friends. (Who the fuck can answer this?)
✓ I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist. (With the stupidest fucking things, but yeah.)
× I have used my sexuality to advance my career. (I've tried using it to advance my "meaningful-seeming enjoyable fuckaround that would turn out to signify nothing" but that didn't work out too well.)
× I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. (I'm twenty-three, and I'm starting to look it. Come the fuck on.)
× I have dated a close friend's ex.
× I am happy at this moment. (Absolutely not)
× I'm obsessed with guys. (Only if they're adorable and in manga form)
× Democrat. (Pussies)
× Republican. (Assholes)
✓ I don't even know what I am. (In the political sense and the philisophical sense.)
× I am punk rockish. (I have some punk inclinations but I think the question is referring to a particular fashion which is entirely contrary to the actual meaning of that very short-lived movement. So fuck that noise.)
× I go for older guys/girls, not younger. (Mostly around my own age)
✓ I study for tests most of the time. (Or at least, I go through the motions.)
× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
× I can work on a car. (No, but I'm getting alright at working on my bike.)
× I love my job(s).
× I am comfortable with who I am right now. (Fuck you)
× I have more than just my ears pierced. (I can't understand piercings at all. Even ugly skin looks better than fucking chunks of metal.)
× I walk barefoot wherever I can.
× I have jumped off a bridge.
✓ I love sea turtles. (I guess so?)
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
× I plan on achieving a major goal/dream. (Do I even have any of those anymore?)
× I am proficient on a musical instrument. (Working on it.)
× I hate office jobs.
× I went to college out of state.
× I am adopted.
× I am a pyro.
× I have thrown up from crying too much.
× I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. (Maybe, but I'm too oblivious to figure it out.)
✓ I fall for the worst people. (Nah, the people I've fallen for have been pretty good people. I, on the other hand...)
✓ I adore bright colours. (Yes)
× I usually like covers better than originals. (Are we talking about bands putting their own sincere, unique spin on the original here or bands who are just slavishly adhering to the structure of the song while changing the instruments and/or effects pedals for a cynical, quick hit?)
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays. (Hate more serious, people.)
✓ I can pick up things with my toes. (I didn't think this was much of a talent?)
× I can't whistle.
× I have ridden/owned a horse.
× I still have every journal I've ever written in.
× I talk in my sleep.
× I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century. (I quite like modern medicine, thank you very much.)
✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. (That's the idea)
× I wear a toe ring. (God, what the fuck?)
× I have a tattoo.
× I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
✓ I am a caffeine junkie. (Yep)
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.
× If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder. (I am frightened of anyone who has selected this. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE, IT'S FUCKING MURDER. There are some people who need to be put away, very very far away, of course.)
× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner. (Fuck wine, beer is where it's at.)
× I'm an artist. ("Hack")
× I am ambidextrous. (Well I am in one area, but I don't think I need to talk about it.)
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed. (Just one.)
× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony. (Being naked is fun for a while, but eventually you just want to put on some fucking clothes.)
× I have terrible teeth. (Damaged, yes, but I don't think they're terrible.)
× I hate my toes. (Fucking... I don't even have the words. Jesus fuck people, get some better insecurities.)
✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me. (Yeah, you want to fight about it?)
✓ I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
× I have lived in either three different states or countries.
× I am extremely flexible. (A bit more than most dudes, but not extremely so.)
✓ I love hugs more than kisses. (While I'm sure kisses are just splendid, hugs are significant but carry much less weight than their wet, sloppy counterpart.)
× I want to own my own business.
× I smoke.
✓ I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else. (...)
× Nobody has ever said I'm normal. (People have called me normal, but usually in some frustrated attempt to cheer me up. I think they're full of shit.)
✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then. (More often than is becoming of a twenty-three year old man.)
× I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.
× I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.
✓ I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.
✓ I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds. (Not so much anymore)
× I have played strip poker with someone else before.
✓ I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help. (Sort of halfassed it. I probably do need some help though.)
× I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
× I can't stand being alone.
✓ I have at least one obsession at any given time. (Many.)
✓ I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again. (Just to make absolutely sure.)
× I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.
× I'm a judgmental asshole. (I can be, but I've really been trying not to be. I apologize a lot these days.)
× I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
× I have travelled on more than one continent.
× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.
× I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am. (Sometimes I think that the validation of others will make me feel like I'm better at whatever horseshit it is that I'm doing, but it's kind of empty and feels as if they're being insincere even if they aren't.)
× I am a Libertarian. (I agree on a few points, but generally find them to be the same kind of utopian cockgarglers as the communists they so hate.)
× I can speak more than one language. (Working on it.)
× I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be. (Only at the most inopportune times. If it's actually going to sleep at night, no way no how.)
× I would rather read than watch TV.
✓ I like reading fact more than fiction.
✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
✓ I have no piercings.
× I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.
× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.
✓ There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it. ("Emotional understanding" does not always follow "Rational understanding")
✓ I like most animals better than most people. (The official response of the socially inept loser.)
✓ I own a collection of retro games consoles. (I didn't do it on purpose, I just don't get rid of my old stuff because I still like it.)
× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver. (Go for a run, fatty.)
× I have hit someone with a dead fish. (How fuckin' wacky)
× I am compulsively honest.
✓ I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired. (Total Retardation Syndrome (TRS))
✓ I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers. (That was kind of my schtick, really.)
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex. (What the fuck does this even mean?)
× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.
× I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.
× I dislike milk.
× I obsessively wash my hands.
× I always carry something significant around with me.
× Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.
✓ I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others. (AND THEREIN LIES THE PROBLEM)
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.
× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.
✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird. (That's what being an otaku is all about)
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.
× Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed. (I try not to, but sometimes it's unavoidable.)
× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts.
✓ I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing. (It's just a job, as thankless and gross as many, many others.)
✓ I don't like to chew gum.
× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it. (Why not just make a time capsule, make sure that people know not to open it until there's fuckin' time machines, and include in the time capsule a note with your current space-time coordinates and instructions to pick you up? Seems a lot easier than waiting.)
× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.
✓ I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years. (I own all the major Nine Inch Nails albums except the most recent one.)
✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other. (Yeah, but shit, I have a problem with doing that so it's not like I expect anyone else to.)
× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.
✓ I love to sing. (More than just about anything. "Good at it" is another story.)
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up. (Too late)
✓ I have a custom-built computer. (IT'S GOT A BIG BLOCK ENGINE, TWIN CAM HEADERS, CHROME SPINNERS AND SOME SERIOUSLY SWEET RIMS, FUCKIN' SPOILER AND SHIT.)
× I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it. (Well, I wouldn't turn down being able to perform the act, but the babies themselves are a bit contentious.)
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human. (JESUS FUCK NO WHAT THE FUCK I MEAN JUST... JESUS WHO THE FUCK WROTE THIS THING WHAT GOD NO.)
× I've gone skinny-dipping.
× I've performed in three plays.
× I enjoy burritos.
× I'm Irish and loving it.
✓ I have a thing for redheads. (If you were to create a list of potentially attractive attributes in the female gender to have a thing for, I would probably have a checkmark in all the boxes.)
× I am a twin!
× Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'. (Behind the monkey bars, after school. Let's go.)
× Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
✓ I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes. (I also wish all the bad things in the world would stop being so bad and also that I could move things with my mind and turn invisible and stuff.)
× I sleep more than 12 hours a day.
✓ I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
× I need more time to myself.
✓ I wish I was more open-minded. (I'm okay on this front but there's still the occasional deep-seated irrational prejudice that pops up once in a while that I find somewhat distasteful.)
× I hope that I go really prematurely grey. (This sounds like the twist ending in a really shitty Twilight Zone episode.)
✓ I download songs from the internet. (AW MAN IT'S THE INTERNET NARCS)
× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.
× I say random things to freak people out.
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note. (Totally fuckin' LIVID here. OOOH HOW COULD THEY DO SUCH A THING. What?)
× I love playing Truth or Dare.
× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
× Music helps me remember that I am not alone. (oh man i totally know what they're saying man, it like makes so much sense to me, i can just connect and shit aw dude don't bogart that hblblblblblblblblblbl)
✓ Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems. (DODGEBALL RULES)
✓ I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.
× I can only hate someone that I love. (Jesus this is like the worst line from the worst song that could ever concievably be written. WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN?)
× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.