An Open Letter to Conservatives
My noble adversaries, I write this letter at a time of your great trials and tribulations, not to gloat but to console. I see your house is fallen into disrepair. I remember your early days, after the spurned Barry Goldwater watched in horror as you were wedded to the Dixiecrats by Ronald Reagan. You boldly took on the challenge of merging fiscal and social conservatives together into one coalition.
However, it is difficult, if not impossible, to serve two masters, even if they be husband and wife. For though the wedding vow proclaims that the two will be as one flesh, this is only metaphor and the two are not, in fact, one flesh. Thus, as time marched on, the equal partnership suffered from an environment hostile to equality.
My friend of the right, you have always had difficulty holding to opposed ideas in your mind simultaneously. By your very nature, you seem more comfortable with one thought superior and the other subordinate. I feel this has caused the social conservative, ever the more vocal, to dominate the relationship. The fiscal conservative, by reasoning nature, lacks the zeal of born again conviction. It has finally gotten to the point where your friends have noticed.
We intellectuals on the left wish you no ill will. Unlike some insecure persons who must be right to feel self esteem, we welcome dissent and debate. Like the steel to the sword, both are needed to hone our discourse and make the edge of Occam’s Razor all the better. However, as I hope you are beginning to realize, the newly converted zealot will brook no debate. Either the gospel is accepted as a matter of faith or the heathen shall be purged, by any means necessary.
My conservative friends, it may be time to contemplate divorce, at the least you need marriage counseling. Your friends have noticed your fractious relationship and your bickering is driving us away. You may try to enlighten your partner of these many years. I will try to engage them is seeing that the difference between their evangelism and the jihadists they deplore is semantic at best when viewed from a distance.
We on the left wish you all the best in your coming days for, in the constant pursuit of a more perfect union, this house divided needs your calm rational minds. We have missed them dearly.
However, it is difficult, if not impossible, to serve two masters, even if they be husband and wife. For though the wedding vow proclaims that the two will be as one flesh, this is only metaphor and the two are not, in fact, one flesh. Thus, as time marched on, the equal partnership suffered from an environment hostile to equality.
My friend of the right, you have always had difficulty holding to opposed ideas in your mind simultaneously. By your very nature, you seem more comfortable with one thought superior and the other subordinate. I feel this has caused the social conservative, ever the more vocal, to dominate the relationship. The fiscal conservative, by reasoning nature, lacks the zeal of born again conviction. It has finally gotten to the point where your friends have noticed.
We intellectuals on the left wish you no ill will. Unlike some insecure persons who must be right to feel self esteem, we welcome dissent and debate. Like the steel to the sword, both are needed to hone our discourse and make the edge of Occam’s Razor all the better. However, as I hope you are beginning to realize, the newly converted zealot will brook no debate. Either the gospel is accepted as a matter of faith or the heathen shall be purged, by any means necessary.
My conservative friends, it may be time to contemplate divorce, at the least you need marriage counseling. Your friends have noticed your fractious relationship and your bickering is driving us away. You may try to enlighten your partner of these many years. I will try to engage them is seeing that the difference between their evangelism and the jihadists they deplore is semantic at best when viewed from a distance.
We on the left wish you all the best in your coming days for, in the constant pursuit of a more perfect union, this house divided needs your calm rational minds. We have missed them dearly.