Fic: Reclaiming Home, PG, McShep
Title: Reclaiming Home
Author: Reulann
Pairing: John/Rodney
Warnings: PG, kissing
Tag to ‘The Return pt. 2’
Words: 1.629
Disclaimer: Not mine, more’s the pity. Written for fun, etc.
Summary: “Nothing has changed, Colonel. We are back in Atlantis and as far as I know, you’re still subject to the American military’s stupid rules."
A/N: A big thank you to Bine for general handholding and encouragement, *hugs*. As always, feel free to point out any errors…
***
When he finally caught up with Rodney, in the part of the city farthest away from the impromptu victory-party, John felt relief sweep through him, making him hesitate at the threshold to the small balcony until he had his equilibrium back. He could see Rodney standing close to the railing, looking out at the ocean; head bowed while the evening breeze ruffling through his short hair. The broad shoulders where hunched against the weight of encroaching responsibility, of memories both good and bad, that waited to reclaim all of them now that they were back where they belonged, back in Atlantis, back home. Rodney’s hands kept a death-grip on the balcony’s rail, as he breathed slowly of the balmy air. It was eerie to see him so still after their frantic struggle to save their city from annihilation by their own military forces.
“Rodney,” John said softly, not wanting to startle him as he stepped closer, a worried frown darkening his face for a heartbeat before his features smoothed out again. Rodney didn’t reply, but his grip on the rail tightened, white knuckled under soft, unblemished skin.
Rodney’s hands used to be rougher, more calloused. He used to complain about his dry, itchy skin to everyone who would listen. Their time back on earth had already erased many of the marks of his life on Atlantis; marks that belonged to the man John had come to know so well over the passed years. Their vanishing whispered to him of wrongness, enhanced their estrangement with every moment that passed. Unthinkingly, John closed the distance between them until he stood pressed close to Rodney, felt him straighten his stance at the realization of John’s nearness. “We missed you at the party,” he said, not sure how to proceed, but pressing on nonetheless. “I looked for you in your old quarters but the place was a total mess.”
“Remaining damage from the occupation, probably,” Rodney replied with a shrug, his voice curt and to the point, as rigid as his body that almost seemed to repel John’s touch. Regret left a bitter taste in John’s mouth, but he had not come here to let the ghosts of old fears defeat him. Weeks ago, on a world no longer his home, John had felt that he had to make a decision to make life on Earth easier for all involved. That it had been the wrong one had not only cost him dearly, it had damaged Rodney’s faith in John as well. Leaving them both anchorless in a world that suddenly seemed to want to give them all the things they once thought they wanted, but which now held nothing that made them want to stay for more than a short visit. The homesickness John had felt had been for both, Rodney and Atlantis. While the latter seemed out of reach for good, there had still been a chance, slim though it might have been, to try to mend things with Rodney. Cautiously, John had started to rebuild their friendship at least, and after a couple of brush-offs, Rodney had caved. While the resulting phone calls were better than not talking to Rodney at all, they made John acknowledge the magnitude of his mistake. Realization had come late, but, hopefully not too late. John knew he had only himself to blame for Rodney’s caution, but, just this once, Rodney’s genius brain and his assumptions were just plain wrong.
John had learned his lesson about what was important to him in this life, a hard-won lesson but one that he would take care to remember from now on. Determined to gain back the one person who mattered above all others, he steeled himself for a fight he could not afford to lose, praying for the right words to make Rodney listen for once. In his blood, Atlantis still sang a song of welcome and delight, like a second heartbeat, slow and steady, ready to do his bidding, letting John know they were safe from prying eyes.
Pressing closer to Rodney’s immobile figure, John slid his hands down Rodney’s arms, marveling at their strength. Beneath the spare hair that flattened under his touch, he could feel the muscles straining, vibrating under the newly pale skin, as if unsure whether to reject or welcome the caress. Rodney had never had much of a tan, unlike the rest of the team, but all their time spent walking around under alien skies had managed to leave an imprint even on Rodney’s pale skin. Now, that was gone as well. The realization left John feeling unaccountably angry, making the distance between them more apparent somehow.
John covered the hands that clung to the railing so tightly, wedging his fingers between Rodney’s until with a sound that was almost a sob Rodney relented and their fingers meshed and held fast. Carefully, John touched his forehead to the back of Rodney’s neck, breathing deeply of the mingled scents of Rodney, Atlantis and the sea. “I’m sorry, so sorry. It will be different this time, you’ll see. Just give me a chance…” John whispered whishing, not for the first time, that talking came easier to him.
With a sudden move that would have made Ronon proud of his most reluctant pupil, Rodney pushed back and turned abruptly, nearly dislocating John entirely from his person. His left hand, still held in John’s almost desperate grip, twisted behind Rodney’s back when he looked at John, furious blue eyes gazing up the few inches separating them.
“Nothing has changed, Colonel. We are back in Atlantis and as far as I know, you’re still subject to the American military’s stupid rules. Nothing. Has. Changed. So don’t tell me otherwise. I may be not as sophisticated as the people you used to hang out with, but I’m not a fool.”
He tried to struggle free, but John refused to let go. Instead, he pulled until Rodney stood pressed against him hip to hip, all angry eyes and furious mouth, and beneath that anger a vulnerability that made John hate his own selfishness. One moment of cowardice on John’s part, and Rodney had paid the price for it. Unfortunately, John was an expert at compartmentalizing and denial when it came to facing up to his emotions. But some things were worth the effort, Rodney was worth the effort of thinking about his choices, and admitting where he had gone so spectacularly wrong.
“I learned my lesson, Rodney.” John held on as Rodney again tried to free himself from his embrace. He hung on with desperate strength, filled with the knowledge that this was his one chance to redeem himself in Rodney’s eyes, his one chance to make him listen. Tomorrow, the SGC would start sending reinforcements. Rodney would be bustling around in his labs, yelling at new personnel and readying Atlantis for the return of the full contingent of people waiting for the order that would allow them to come back home. There would be no room for personal crisis, no time for John to get up his courage for a second attempt. “No, listen to me. I won’t go back, Rodney, never again. I’ll run and hide, if necessary. In this city, with one of our allies, it doesn’t matter. I’ll never go back to Earth again if there is any doubt at they will let me come back home. I’ll never again leave you behind. I’ll swear every oath, but I need you to believe me…”
John fell silent as the body in his arms shivered and sagged against him in defeat. He could feel Rodney’s breath against the bare skin above his shirt collar, a shivery, warm-wet exhalation that made him pull Rodney closer still. Wrapping both arms around him, John listened for the words of damnation or deliverance that would tell him if he had a future worth fighting for. Filled with a strange calmness, John held on, contented that Rodney was finally back where he belonged. After a small eternity, Rodney sighed, and went pliant in John’s arms, slipping his arms around John’s waist, adhering to every minute shift John’s body made, his answer nonverbal but eloquent nonetheless.
The rush of realization made John’s blood burn with a fierce tenderness that felt both alien and familiar. He felt the short hairs at Rodney’s temple catch against his evening stubble, the ticklish sensation of lashes against the hinge of his jaw, when their faces brushed together. John let go of Rodney only far enough so he could slide his hands up Rodney’s torso, tracing the well-loved lines of the strong shoulders up to the vulnerable throat until he could cup Rodney’s face in his hands. Their faint trembling caused Rodney to close his eyes and hold perfectly still until John could find his voice.
“I promise,” he whispered, willing Rodney to believe, to understand what this meant to John. Rodney’s mouth opened as if to speak but no sound made it past his lips. Instead, John could hear him swallow thickly; tongue flicking out to moisten the wide, crooked mouth. Entranced, John watched as blue eyes opened slowly, as always, revealing too much. They spoke to John with more eloquence than Rodney was capable right now and John liked what they were telling him.
Leaning in, he could feel the moisture of Rodney’s every panting breath against his slightly opened mouth, saw Rodney’s lower lip, wet and tender looking quiver, as their mouths drew closer, and John couldn’t help but kiss him, trying to convey the sincerity of his words through this meeting of mouths. John’s kiss delivered his message quite aptly; hungry, tender, claiming, and Rodney answered him without the need for words; yes, more, don’t stop, I forgive you, I’m yours.
The End
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. I don’t own any of the recognizable characters, they belong to their respective creators and the companies that earn tons of money because of nice people, like me, who watch their shows and buy their stuff
Author: Reulann
Pairing: John/Rodney
Warnings: PG, kissing
Tag to ‘The Return pt. 2’
Words: 1.629
Disclaimer: Not mine, more’s the pity. Written for fun, etc.
Summary: “Nothing has changed, Colonel. We are back in Atlantis and as far as I know, you’re still subject to the American military’s stupid rules."
A/N: A big thank you to Bine for general handholding and encouragement, *hugs*. As always, feel free to point out any errors…
***
When he finally caught up with Rodney, in the part of the city farthest away from the impromptu victory-party, John felt relief sweep through him, making him hesitate at the threshold to the small balcony until he had his equilibrium back. He could see Rodney standing close to the railing, looking out at the ocean; head bowed while the evening breeze ruffling through his short hair. The broad shoulders where hunched against the weight of encroaching responsibility, of memories both good and bad, that waited to reclaim all of them now that they were back where they belonged, back in Atlantis, back home. Rodney’s hands kept a death-grip on the balcony’s rail, as he breathed slowly of the balmy air. It was eerie to see him so still after their frantic struggle to save their city from annihilation by their own military forces.
“Rodney,” John said softly, not wanting to startle him as he stepped closer, a worried frown darkening his face for a heartbeat before his features smoothed out again. Rodney didn’t reply, but his grip on the rail tightened, white knuckled under soft, unblemished skin.
Rodney’s hands used to be rougher, more calloused. He used to complain about his dry, itchy skin to everyone who would listen. Their time back on earth had already erased many of the marks of his life on Atlantis; marks that belonged to the man John had come to know so well over the passed years. Their vanishing whispered to him of wrongness, enhanced their estrangement with every moment that passed. Unthinkingly, John closed the distance between them until he stood pressed close to Rodney, felt him straighten his stance at the realization of John’s nearness. “We missed you at the party,” he said, not sure how to proceed, but pressing on nonetheless. “I looked for you in your old quarters but the place was a total mess.”
“Remaining damage from the occupation, probably,” Rodney replied with a shrug, his voice curt and to the point, as rigid as his body that almost seemed to repel John’s touch. Regret left a bitter taste in John’s mouth, but he had not come here to let the ghosts of old fears defeat him. Weeks ago, on a world no longer his home, John had felt that he had to make a decision to make life on Earth easier for all involved. That it had been the wrong one had not only cost him dearly, it had damaged Rodney’s faith in John as well. Leaving them both anchorless in a world that suddenly seemed to want to give them all the things they once thought they wanted, but which now held nothing that made them want to stay for more than a short visit. The homesickness John had felt had been for both, Rodney and Atlantis. While the latter seemed out of reach for good, there had still been a chance, slim though it might have been, to try to mend things with Rodney. Cautiously, John had started to rebuild their friendship at least, and after a couple of brush-offs, Rodney had caved. While the resulting phone calls were better than not talking to Rodney at all, they made John acknowledge the magnitude of his mistake. Realization had come late, but, hopefully not too late. John knew he had only himself to blame for Rodney’s caution, but, just this once, Rodney’s genius brain and his assumptions were just plain wrong.
John had learned his lesson about what was important to him in this life, a hard-won lesson but one that he would take care to remember from now on. Determined to gain back the one person who mattered above all others, he steeled himself for a fight he could not afford to lose, praying for the right words to make Rodney listen for once. In his blood, Atlantis still sang a song of welcome and delight, like a second heartbeat, slow and steady, ready to do his bidding, letting John know they were safe from prying eyes.
Pressing closer to Rodney’s immobile figure, John slid his hands down Rodney’s arms, marveling at their strength. Beneath the spare hair that flattened under his touch, he could feel the muscles straining, vibrating under the newly pale skin, as if unsure whether to reject or welcome the caress. Rodney had never had much of a tan, unlike the rest of the team, but all their time spent walking around under alien skies had managed to leave an imprint even on Rodney’s pale skin. Now, that was gone as well. The realization left John feeling unaccountably angry, making the distance between them more apparent somehow.
John covered the hands that clung to the railing so tightly, wedging his fingers between Rodney’s until with a sound that was almost a sob Rodney relented and their fingers meshed and held fast. Carefully, John touched his forehead to the back of Rodney’s neck, breathing deeply of the mingled scents of Rodney, Atlantis and the sea. “I’m sorry, so sorry. It will be different this time, you’ll see. Just give me a chance…” John whispered whishing, not for the first time, that talking came easier to him.
With a sudden move that would have made Ronon proud of his most reluctant pupil, Rodney pushed back and turned abruptly, nearly dislocating John entirely from his person. His left hand, still held in John’s almost desperate grip, twisted behind Rodney’s back when he looked at John, furious blue eyes gazing up the few inches separating them.
“Nothing has changed, Colonel. We are back in Atlantis and as far as I know, you’re still subject to the American military’s stupid rules. Nothing. Has. Changed. So don’t tell me otherwise. I may be not as sophisticated as the people you used to hang out with, but I’m not a fool.”
He tried to struggle free, but John refused to let go. Instead, he pulled until Rodney stood pressed against him hip to hip, all angry eyes and furious mouth, and beneath that anger a vulnerability that made John hate his own selfishness. One moment of cowardice on John’s part, and Rodney had paid the price for it. Unfortunately, John was an expert at compartmentalizing and denial when it came to facing up to his emotions. But some things were worth the effort, Rodney was worth the effort of thinking about his choices, and admitting where he had gone so spectacularly wrong.
“I learned my lesson, Rodney.” John held on as Rodney again tried to free himself from his embrace. He hung on with desperate strength, filled with the knowledge that this was his one chance to redeem himself in Rodney’s eyes, his one chance to make him listen. Tomorrow, the SGC would start sending reinforcements. Rodney would be bustling around in his labs, yelling at new personnel and readying Atlantis for the return of the full contingent of people waiting for the order that would allow them to come back home. There would be no room for personal crisis, no time for John to get up his courage for a second attempt. “No, listen to me. I won’t go back, Rodney, never again. I’ll run and hide, if necessary. In this city, with one of our allies, it doesn’t matter. I’ll never go back to Earth again if there is any doubt at they will let me come back home. I’ll never again leave you behind. I’ll swear every oath, but I need you to believe me…”
John fell silent as the body in his arms shivered and sagged against him in defeat. He could feel Rodney’s breath against the bare skin above his shirt collar, a shivery, warm-wet exhalation that made him pull Rodney closer still. Wrapping both arms around him, John listened for the words of damnation or deliverance that would tell him if he had a future worth fighting for. Filled with a strange calmness, John held on, contented that Rodney was finally back where he belonged. After a small eternity, Rodney sighed, and went pliant in John’s arms, slipping his arms around John’s waist, adhering to every minute shift John’s body made, his answer nonverbal but eloquent nonetheless.
The rush of realization made John’s blood burn with a fierce tenderness that felt both alien and familiar. He felt the short hairs at Rodney’s temple catch against his evening stubble, the ticklish sensation of lashes against the hinge of his jaw, when their faces brushed together. John let go of Rodney only far enough so he could slide his hands up Rodney’s torso, tracing the well-loved lines of the strong shoulders up to the vulnerable throat until he could cup Rodney’s face in his hands. Their faint trembling caused Rodney to close his eyes and hold perfectly still until John could find his voice.
“I promise,” he whispered, willing Rodney to believe, to understand what this meant to John. Rodney’s mouth opened as if to speak but no sound made it past his lips. Instead, John could hear him swallow thickly; tongue flicking out to moisten the wide, crooked mouth. Entranced, John watched as blue eyes opened slowly, as always, revealing too much. They spoke to John with more eloquence than Rodney was capable right now and John liked what they were telling him.
Leaning in, he could feel the moisture of Rodney’s every panting breath against his slightly opened mouth, saw Rodney’s lower lip, wet and tender looking quiver, as their mouths drew closer, and John couldn’t help but kiss him, trying to convey the sincerity of his words through this meeting of mouths. John’s kiss delivered his message quite aptly; hungry, tender, claiming, and Rodney answered him without the need for words; yes, more, don’t stop, I forgive you, I’m yours.
The End
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. I don’t own any of the recognizable characters, they belong to their respective creators and the companies that earn tons of money because of nice people, like me, who watch their shows and buy their stuff