Netflix's very careful, non-spoilery summary: "The new starship Enterprise and its crew's first mission to explore the mystery surrounding the creation of Far Point Station on the planet Deneb IV."
There are two elements of this opener, one of which involves Q putting Picard & Co. on trial as proxies for the human race for crimes against... humanity? The universe? Crabgrass? Or something. (This part of the episode plays out like the worst job interview ever, complete with crazy outfits and impossible questions.) The other involves (obviously) the "mystery" of Far Point station, where everything is built to exact StarFleet specifications by some ~*~mysterious~*~ means and everything that people want keeps magically appearing. I use the sarcastic tildes and stars above because the idea that people (especially Star Fleet engineers) would dismiss this magical perfection as "just a coincidence" when they know that the planet doesn't have the materials to do this is ludicrous. The opening exposition dialogue between Riker and Dr. Crusher is really odd in this respect. My mental summary was:
Riker: Everything's too weirdly perfect here!
Crusher: LOL, you're such a suck-up.
Riker: But, APPLES!
Crusher: If only this cloth had an ugly pattern.
Shopkeeper: (eerie stare)
Riker: BUT!
Crusher: Whoa, this cloth has an ugly pattern!
Wesley: That pattern wasn't there before!
Riker: See?! Something weird--
Crusher: It's just a coincidence. Good luck with that sucking up while I reveal my angtsy past.
Seriously, StarFleet doesn't seem like an organization which would ignore weird coincidences, especially not on planets where it wants to build a permanent base. Of course, there's an explanation:
the native people of Deneb IV have trapped a space jellyfish that can create matter from nothing and in return for barely enough geothermal energy, it creates everything that they think StarFleet wants. I have some questions about this. What didn't the Bandi/Denebians just use the creature to create whatever they (the Denebians/Bandi) want? Why Star Fleet stuff? How did the creature know what the StarFleet people wanted? How were the Bandi keeping the creature there in the first place? But, anyway, that happened, and Picard solves this pretty quickly.
The solving of this mystery leads to the other part of the episode, which is Q's trial for humanity, in a courtroom that's rumored to be modeled on one in the year 2079, after some event called "The Atomic Horror." It appears to be canon that ST:TNG's working model for our immediate future is that Mad Max does happen at some point, and that armies drug up their soldiers to get them to perform... better? Run faster towards their deaths? Or something. The courtroom is filled with people who look like they're all in a community theater production of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" and Q has this awesome scissor lift chair that I noted as, "must own." Q and Picard have a snarky battle of words; Q uses his infinite cosmic powers to ice Lt. Yar like he's Mr. Freeze in an old Batman episode; and while this is all very dramatic, it's weird sequence of events. The pacing is really odd, with a lot of reaction shots from all the characters involved, and they all look awkward and grouchy.
This leads me to my other area of surprise in the rewatch: everyone is awkward and grouchy around each other.
My memories of this episode were pretty cloudy, but I had the impression that all the characters were friendly with each other, even Worf. But instead, no one really knows each other, and those who do know each other either have angsty pasts (like Dr. Crusher and Picard) or angsty relationships (like Riker and Troi) and they're very grumpy about it. It's like the Enterprise is being run by internet celebrity cats. Picard, for example, has never met Riker before and gives him a test that's supposedly very difficult, and which we will never see again: putting the two halves of the ship back together after they separated during the initial confrontation with Q. Riker does this per Picard's orders, and everyone looks very worriedly at each other as the whole thing goes down. (Looking worried seems to be the new "roll left! roll right!") It's only after Riker does this correctly that Picard finally flaws a little bit, only to reveal himself as still awkward around children, needing Riker's help to appear friendly/warm.
Of course, this means that the only child character, Wesley, will have to interact with Picard and make him (Picard) look awkward, and man oh man does the script give Wesley the opportunity to do that, not once, but twice. I've gotta feel a little sorry for Wesley; he gets the musical marker of both flute and xylophone, two instruments that are fine on their own but are highly annoying when put together. When Wesley was on the bridge, the soundtrack said, basically, "SOMETHING AWKWARD IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN HA HA!"
The other character I feel majorly sorry for is Troi, whose uniform is just... what the what. StarFleet-issued romper? Shorts? I don't know. Add to that the fact that she has very little to do except talk about the emotions of a creature we can't see, and that's awful. Other characters outright ignore her dialogue a few times, and I just wanted to give her a hug. And a new wardrobe.
There is something interesting character building that I had forgotten: Geordi, for example, reveals that using his visor means that he can effectively see, but that he's in pain most of the time, and he's not going to let Dr. Crusher meddle with his brain to deal with that pain if it means he can't do his job or be himself. Geordi is a total badass. I also liked the revelations between Crusher and Picard, even if the entire tone was awkward; it still felt right, given what they'd been through together. Data and Riker's first meeting was pretty nice, too.
Awesome-est part of the episode: DeForest Kelly! And Majel Barrett Roddenberry's familiar voice.
Signs it's not the future:
* Picard orders the Enterprise to cease all internal communications in order to fool Q; he says they should use "print outs" instead. ZOMG.
* The lighting in this episode is very odd: sort of florescent, but weirdly dark in patches.
Signs that it's the future:
* Cloth is sold in cylinders, not in bolts! THE FUTURE!
* The Enterprise's elevator technology is YEARS ahead of ours. Years, people.
* Far Point station is in the form of a city with a pointy spire at its center. Pointy cities = always the future!
* People are always poking at wall computers, although it's never clear what they're doing (except for the time when Riker uses the computer to find Data in the Holodeck.) Wall computers! THE FUTURE!
Next time: Everyone gets some virus that makes them act drunk; Lt. Yar goes to that planet where she has to fight some guy's wife. This should be good.