One down and 3.6 (and I'm out of here)
So, my dad will be here soon, within the hour (if he actually left the house on time).
I so do not want to go home. I'm getting sick over it. I really miss my family. I want to see them. But, thats... all.
My life is here now. I dont know how else I can explain that. And I feel like, going home does nothing but solidify the fact that I am a Grown Up (TM) and I'm not ready for that. I know its the case, in some odd way, but because the things that define my life here are going to bars and school and doing homework, and bitching about boys, and other things that I've been doing since 5th grade (well, aside from the bars, i guess) and don't seem scary, i dont have to think about it.
But going home? God, with the exception of Katie's wedding which was in and out, i haven't been home since... June.
I feel displaced.
Why did no one tell me how scary this was going to be?
Meanwhile, i hate this apartment, and I hate cigar man (who decided to TALK to me now) and I hate that everything smells like his rank addiction. But I have no where else to live.
May can't come fast enough, so I can get the hell out of here. But what then? It will be Mars and I and no one else. What do I do when everyone else leaves?
Why am I freaking out.
I so do not want to go home. I'm getting sick over it. I really miss my family. I want to see them. But, thats... all.
My life is here now. I dont know how else I can explain that. And I feel like, going home does nothing but solidify the fact that I am a Grown Up (TM) and I'm not ready for that. I know its the case, in some odd way, but because the things that define my life here are going to bars and school and doing homework, and bitching about boys, and other things that I've been doing since 5th grade (well, aside from the bars, i guess) and don't seem scary, i dont have to think about it.
But going home? God, with the exception of Katie's wedding which was in and out, i haven't been home since... June.
I feel displaced.
Why did no one tell me how scary this was going to be?
Meanwhile, i hate this apartment, and I hate cigar man (who decided to TALK to me now) and I hate that everything smells like his rank addiction. But I have no where else to live.
May can't come fast enough, so I can get the hell out of here. But what then? It will be Mars and I and no one else. What do I do when everyone else leaves?
Why am I freaking out.