tonight is a night for words
While clearing out cupboards to make space for new memories last week, i stumbled upon the english essays i wrote for O level prelims back in scgs (covering math papers too shameful to be displayed!) Writing has always been one of the few things i felt good about, but finding those papers covered in scratchy schoolgirl handwriting brought me back to a time where i wrote without rules, to a world that wasn't governed by General Paper Guidelines. Paragraphs didn't start with clear cut topic sentences but words wove themselves together, from heart to brain to paper. It brought me back to a time where my matronly english teacher rewarded fluency and flair, before she decided that my inclination towards language was a daunting obstacle to my own sister's efforts. That was the first time I felt guilty about doing something I loved, and words haven't come by easily since then without a great deal of thinking and fussing.
Tonight I work on an assignment for school that is highly scientific and empirical, my vocabulary of psychological jargon at the ready. But since MS Word is a cold lover i have been desperate to please, i thought i would return to the unassuming white lj box which will accept my fluid jigsaw thoughts and fickle unfaithful ways.
Funnily enough, that essay was an expository essay on blogging. I talked about how it made people celebrities, about how the internet turned silent nations into opinionated souls, and above all, about how writing is a beautiful thing. These paragraphs have allowed me to reclaim a bit of myself from routine, and remember a school under an ultimately-loving leadership that once made artists of us all.