anotherday anothernight anotherdream
tomorrow is my birthday...and no one cares.
Its my 21st man! and im just really afraid its going to royally suck...last year royally sucked, but i said thats ok, because its more important for my 21st to rock. Well...i dunno.
Today did not start good, i dunno, i dont feel sunny, my heart is heavy...and it shouldnt be. Ive got several things weighing on my head, on my heart. And im really sleepy. Ive been looking forward to Thanksgiving for so long... and Lord knows i need it. But now i dread it...I dont want it to come because i dont want it to go. I dont want it to end. I'm not ready. sigh.
My art professors are constantly "inspiring" us with the enlightened info of picasso. He never did anything he didnt enjoy. do you think he did stuff he hated or that was hard for him? heck no. why would he. he did what he loved, what came natural, what was fun.
so whyyyyy do i hate this so much? why does it hurt, why all the grief, and the stress. Im tired of being tired, and stressed, and scared. I want to relax. I want to be excited again. I want to live and love and have fun doing it. Where has it all gone?
I feel like i put my faith in the wrong place again...I feel like its going to end up hurting me again...and i feel like its too late to do anything about that. What am I doing. I thought this was something I was giving, but I feel like It has been taken from me and taken for granted....
"my hands are small I know, but they're not yours, they are my own..."
Its my 21st man! and im just really afraid its going to royally suck...last year royally sucked, but i said thats ok, because its more important for my 21st to rock. Well...i dunno.
Today did not start good, i dunno, i dont feel sunny, my heart is heavy...and it shouldnt be. Ive got several things weighing on my head, on my heart. And im really sleepy. Ive been looking forward to Thanksgiving for so long... and Lord knows i need it. But now i dread it...I dont want it to come because i dont want it to go. I dont want it to end. I'm not ready. sigh.
My art professors are constantly "inspiring" us with the enlightened info of picasso. He never did anything he didnt enjoy. do you think he did stuff he hated or that was hard for him? heck no. why would he. he did what he loved, what came natural, what was fun.
so whyyyyy do i hate this so much? why does it hurt, why all the grief, and the stress. Im tired of being tired, and stressed, and scared. I want to relax. I want to be excited again. I want to live and love and have fun doing it. Where has it all gone?
I feel like i put my faith in the wrong place again...I feel like its going to end up hurting me again...and i feel like its too late to do anything about that. What am I doing. I thought this was something I was giving, but I feel like It has been taken from me and taken for granted....
"my hands are small I know, but they're not yours, they are my own..."