Jogging Kills
I've been working out faithfully for about two weeks now everyday. I decided to try and walk outside today, maybe even breaking into a jog to pop up my heart rate. I figured since I'd been aerobically exercising with a combination of biking, swimming, jogging in place, aerobic tapes, and DDR I could handle maybe a minute or two of running.
Fucking Ow.
I warmed up, walked briskly for a bit and then I made the mistake of running/jogging for about 4 minutes. This is a reinactment:
Me: *rocking out to Usher, jogging with seeming ease* Cool!
Body: *slowly opens eyes, yawns* What's going on?
Me: Weeeehoo, I'm jogging! I'm jogging!
Body: OMG, there must be a knife wielding maniac (or Richard Simmons) behind us! Shit! Run bitch!
Me: *runs happily*
Body: *3 minutes later* ...they would have caught up by now. We are in no immediate danger. Why the fuck are you running? *brings down the house of pain, stops oxygenating blood, pops a lung*
Me: *doubles over with the sudden inability to breathe* You couldn't have told me this 4 fucking minutes ago!?
It was immediate, and mysterious, and godamnit, I've learned my lesson: Jogging is for people who don't jiggle. I swear my fat arse almost tore loose from my pelvis. I'm still having issues with the breathing. It also may have been a bad idea to go in 95 degree weather. Oops.
Nerd-workouts it is for me then. DDR.
Fucking Ow.
I warmed up, walked briskly for a bit and then I made the mistake of running/jogging for about 4 minutes. This is a reinactment:
Me: *rocking out to Usher, jogging with seeming ease* Cool!
Body: *slowly opens eyes, yawns* What's going on?
Me: Weeeehoo, I'm jogging! I'm jogging!
Body: OMG, there must be a knife wielding maniac (or Richard Simmons) behind us! Shit! Run bitch!
Me: *runs happily*
Body: *3 minutes later* ...they would have caught up by now. We are in no immediate danger. Why the fuck are you running? *brings down the house of pain, stops oxygenating blood, pops a lung*
Me: *doubles over with the sudden inability to breathe* You couldn't have told me this 4 fucking minutes ago!?
It was immediate, and mysterious, and godamnit, I've learned my lesson: Jogging is for people who don't jiggle. I swear my fat arse almost tore loose from my pelvis. I'm still having issues with the breathing. It also may have been a bad idea to go in 95 degree weather. Oops.
Nerd-workouts it is for me then. DDR.