(no subject)
Shit, shit, shit. I didn't get a memo that was sent out while I was gone and now I've missed a (and I quote) "MANDATORY" staff meeting. I can't believe our head boss. She types out this memo and puts it in our boxes 5 days before the meeting. And then in the memo it says it's important to give two weeks notice so that if there's a schedule conflict we can work it out. WTF? 5 days is less than two weeks. Clearly, we needed to go back in time and give notice. Sorry, my time turner's lost in my bedroom somewhere.
Normally, our staff meetings are in the middle of the month so I'd assumed I'd missed them and the two program managers I talked to seemed pretty much fine with that. But today, one lady asked me if I went to the staff meeting that was this afternoon. What!? MY OFFICE NEEDS TO PULL ITS HEAD OUT OF ITS ASS.
But it's my fault that I didn't check my mail the second I got back into town. And it's my fault I missed the meeting today. So what do I do? Just lie low and hope she doesn't notice I wasn't there? There's a sign in sheet, so I suspect I'll be called and bitched at, maybe even fired. Fired. I'm terrified of being fired because jobs just aren't that easy to come by in Walla Walla (for me anyway, but obviously that's because my resume's shite and my interviews are painful at best).
And is it going to matter that my reviews are sensational? Or that I've never missed, or even been so much as late to, a fucking insipid retarded ridiculous staff meeting for my entire employment there which has been over a year? No, of course not. I'm going to get bitched at for missing a meeting that was randomly dubbed mandatory.
Do I lie and say I just didn't sign the sheet? Do I ignore it and play dumb? Do I just buck up and call her and say "look, I just found out about the meeting, fire me now please." Do I start looking for another job? I've been so completely stressed about this shift that I haven't had the time to think of anything else, and no one seems to care, at all. I hate this. Can I not work at a job for more than a year? When I look at my resume, that's all I've been able to handle at any job. Which means my times pretty much up where I'm working now.
I don't know what to do. I'm hoping I'm making too big a deal out of this as I'm prone to do.
Edit: I called, and apparently a bunch of people missed it. GEE I WONDER IF MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TELL US AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH THAT IT WOULD BE AT A FUCKING DIFFERENT TIME THAN THE COURSE OF MOTHERFUCKING HISTORY HAS DICTATED. ....
And apparently this is an official warning. I feel like crying. A warning? I hate feeling like a scolded child, hate it. But what do I do? Cry. Shit. It's just a warning, and of course if I'd missed any other meeting it would have been just fucking fine, but this one was the most important one.
If it was so important, maybe it should have been scheduled appropriately. I feel like such a loser. A warning. A warning. I hate being in trouble at work. I really, really need to do something where I'm my own boss.