part dos
so, life has gotten more interesting. I am still making myself physically ill by stressing so much, but I am getting better I think. At least, I have made an appointment with a counselor for a little over a week from now, which i may just be "better" by then, but I really ought to go no matter what. This anxiety crap sucks, and I need to get it under control. I do not need medication, i just need guidance. I need to talk to someone impartial that I do not have to worry about judging me, who can answer my questions and tell me if my methods i have imposed upon myself are too harsh or if they sound good. There is also a relaxation and anxiety group that meets on Tuesday afternoons at 2:30, but in order for me to go to that I would have to get off work at 2 on Tuesdays and catch a bus to campus really quickly. Which may not be a bad idea, especially if i keep feeling all cracked up with nowhere to turn. I have anxiety attacks in the morning, and i got sick from not eating all day every day for a week. I mean, I would eat dinner, but lunch was not hearty and breakfast didnt exist. I'm considering walking to work with a cup of coffee in the morning, because small amounts of caffeine supposedly help you burn fat more efficiently if you exercise. But too much happens to stress out your body like none other. I have enough stress in my life. Oh wait, I got some of that mix in your water to make it taste good and give you extra vitamins stuff... so I am gonna use that I think instead. It has minor amounts of caffeine. So anyway, I think I have brought my nutrition level back up to where it should be. Almost all of the dizziness is gone. I also made up a checklist of things i ought to do before going to sleep every night. stuff like cleaning my room, picking out an outfit for the next day, washing dishes, packing a lunch, etc. If I do stuff the night before I may not be so stressed out the mornign of. All I have to do is will myself to shower, put clothes on, and grab a cereal bar, my lunch, and a bag to put it all in. Everything else will already be taken care of. I might try and walk in the afternoons a bit too, or stretch or something like that. And I was considering cooking all food for the week on weekends, so I just have to grab something and don't have to cook and mess up a ton of dishes every single night. we'll see how this works out for me. I hope the outcome is positive!