(no subject)
I can't do this. I can't fucking revise for my exams if I'm not really interested in the subject. Never before have I experienced so much idleness and unmotivation before exams. I just don't see the point of regurgitating textbooks and memorising case studies. I don't fucking care about psychology anymore. Whichever parts of my course I am interested in I would have read and researched on off my own back just because I wanted to find out more. I mean, why aren't I reading a course that I'd actually enjoy? I know why. Because you can't ever make any money doing something you enjoy, right? My interests may be what I live for, but I'm too scared of the big bad world to pursue them for a career.
If I don't pass this year there's no way I'm gonna stay an extra year incarcerated in this rubbish town. What do I get out of it in the end anyway? A very useful qualification that would guarantee me a safe and comfortable future? Being able to impress people with how educated I am? My parents shutting up for a bit?
I can see where they're coming from. I only went to uni to piss about and have as much fun as possible. Spending money that isn't mine and getting into debt. A waste of time in their eyes.
Would it be too defeatist to say that I am an idealist who will always imagine a happier life? Is my incessant moaning intrinsic to my nature or does it naturally transpire from situations I'm in that are in themselves bad and hence deserving of it? I've only lived for 20 years, I don't have much basis for comparison.
One thing's for certain: I'm terrible at making decisions.
If I don't pass this year there's no way I'm gonna stay an extra year incarcerated in this rubbish town. What do I get out of it in the end anyway? A very useful qualification that would guarantee me a safe and comfortable future? Being able to impress people with how educated I am? My parents shutting up for a bit?
I can see where they're coming from. I only went to uni to piss about and have as much fun as possible. Spending money that isn't mine and getting into debt. A waste of time in their eyes.
Would it be too defeatist to say that I am an idealist who will always imagine a happier life? Is my incessant moaning intrinsic to my nature or does it naturally transpire from situations I'm in that are in themselves bad and hence deserving of it? I've only lived for 20 years, I don't have much basis for comparison.
One thing's for certain: I'm terrible at making decisions.