I just wanted to tell you...
Alright...so bequethals (sp?) were last night. It was OK, I guess, but last year was more...meaningful. I guess I was just more connected with the seniors last year. But, whatever.
Erica gave me something that really made me think. She told me not to take it seriously, but...I kinda had to. It was the following poem:
Why am I so cursed that I hurt everyone I come close to?
What do I do when I realize that, eventually, I will bring pain to everyone I care about?
They say we're born, we live, and then we die,
And, along the way, we touch a few people,
Not physically touch but emotionally, in the heart,
But what they don't say is that there's a good way to touch someone's heart and a bad way,
And if you touch someone that way enough, you'll break that heart that you feel so strongly about,
I believe that God made man and he gave us all the ability to create and destroy,
But maybe some of us can't choose,
Or don't have a choice,
What if I'm one of those men?
Have you ever not been able to help looking into someone's eyes out of sheer beauty and adoration?
And, at the same time, not been able to to look out of sheer disgust that you will someday make those eyes cry?
Now, I know what you're all probably thinking: "Oh, Steve, stop saying crap like that! Any girl in the school would die to go out with you! Mehr mehr mehr!" Well, even if that was true, why is it that it never works? I can go down a list of people who's hearts I've broken. And I guess I'm just beginning to realize how much I've hurt them.
But why is that? I cared about every single person I've ever gotten close to, but I've left them for my own reasons, weather they be good ones or bad ones. But...I'm starting to get scared. People in theatre now know me as the guy who goes out with a girl for a while, them dumps them for someone else, even though that has never happened. But...is it really my fault? All this time, I've blamed it on fate or the other person.
So, why is it that I'm like this?
Is this going to happen all throughout my life? What can I do to stop it? Should I change myself? Start talking to girls less? Maybe quit forensics and broaden my horions (I've been thinking about that anyway)?
Well...I'm not sure...I just wish I was somebody else entirely (Chelsea knows who) and I wish I could just live my life without worrying so much. Anyways, mucho congrats to Kyla, Kristi, and Jimmy for being my new Family and I hope Mackinac is fun nonetheless.
Erica gave me something that really made me think. She told me not to take it seriously, but...I kinda had to. It was the following poem:
Why am I so cursed that I hurt everyone I come close to?
What do I do when I realize that, eventually, I will bring pain to everyone I care about?
They say we're born, we live, and then we die,
And, along the way, we touch a few people,
Not physically touch but emotionally, in the heart,
But what they don't say is that there's a good way to touch someone's heart and a bad way,
And if you touch someone that way enough, you'll break that heart that you feel so strongly about,
I believe that God made man and he gave us all the ability to create and destroy,
But maybe some of us can't choose,
Or don't have a choice,
What if I'm one of those men?
Have you ever not been able to help looking into someone's eyes out of sheer beauty and adoration?
And, at the same time, not been able to to look out of sheer disgust that you will someday make those eyes cry?
Now, I know what you're all probably thinking: "Oh, Steve, stop saying crap like that! Any girl in the school would die to go out with you! Mehr mehr mehr!" Well, even if that was true, why is it that it never works? I can go down a list of people who's hearts I've broken. And I guess I'm just beginning to realize how much I've hurt them.
But why is that? I cared about every single person I've ever gotten close to, but I've left them for my own reasons, weather they be good ones or bad ones. But...I'm starting to get scared. People in theatre now know me as the guy who goes out with a girl for a while, them dumps them for someone else, even though that has never happened. But...is it really my fault? All this time, I've blamed it on fate or the other person.
So, why is it that I'm like this?
Is this going to happen all throughout my life? What can I do to stop it? Should I change myself? Start talking to girls less? Maybe quit forensics and broaden my horions (I've been thinking about that anyway)?
Well...I'm not sure...I just wish I was somebody else entirely (Chelsea knows who) and I wish I could just live my life without worrying so much. Anyways, mucho congrats to Kyla, Kristi, and Jimmy for being my new Family and I hope Mackinac is fun nonetheless.