I really dont care if you read this or not.......
yeah....theres a lot on my mind and in all honestyi dont really care if you read this i just need to write i suppose......i suck at school i not sure why i even waste my mooney on going...its not meant for me it never has been its a pretty sad day when ur class is at 12 and you cant ever get up for it..... its dfucking pathetic... id rather sleep then further my education...all i want to do is hang out with people and have a good time...you only have one life mine as well live it. so yeah school equals shitty
band equals it doesnt feel like its going anywhere weve been in the same spot for fuckgin liek 3 months and nothing is taking off it seems....maybe im worng we have a vox trying out sunday we'll see.......i just like drinking again im back at the point that iwas in the summer i just want to have a good time crunk it up...with myfriends but it seems im the only one that wants to ne mroe...mieks conteplating edge or he already has and just hasnt told me..... tannersa complete pushover and is so pussywhipped he make me look good when i was datign niki and we all knwo how whipped i was... at least she wasnt the oppidemy of a duhduhduh and fuckign complete white trash that cant even take the sped way otu of lincoln..she makes me suiick and i make my self sick that i pretended to like her for so long to attempt to save a fierendship with tanner......yeah hes a great fuckign friend.....
i need a decent car i need a houser i need a better paying job gary is supposed to hook me up whenever he gets promoted but i cant see that happerneing either.......most of all though i need somethign ive been deprived of for a long while...soemone to call my own..... life is so hard when you dont have someone to share it with not that im saying i want ne one right now to share the rest of my life with lol but it owudl be amazing if i coudl come home and call up someone and watch a movie and just cuddle upw ith soemone i didnt either tear apart with my stupid mind pickin each persons flaws and exagerating them to the full extent....it su i think i use it as a defence mechanism not to gwet heat casue everytime i actually do liek a girl and let them knwo i get stomped on.....take kimmie as a priime example......or rather for the example of my flaw picking take evrysingle girl ive dated sicne niki....
danilelle anmarino
jessica cotrell
ashley percha
diana mussiene
cheryl alastra
anna whatever yourlastnameis lol
it may not meant to be for me. all im saying is that i wish things wold work out good for me once....thigns woudl go my way for one time....ehhh whatever im doen i got everythign off my chect that i needed to.....
i got a cool down blanket and now it keeps me warm lol