some crack. it's been a while.
Five times Cesc made Fernando shut up (at least for a while)
Cesc Fàbregas/Fernando Torres. For darkblue. Crack, twitter, LOST, etc. Fernando being a bitch and Cesc wondering why he's even bothering.
1.
It kind of sucks winning a World Cup in the midst of that kind of transfer speculation. Cesc swears he's never going to do that again. Well, he could do the World Cup part. Just not. Yeah. It's never happening again. He hates how messy it got, how stupid, how ridiculous.
He remembers Fernando being bitchy (in that sarcastic, condescending way of his) to Xabi after he'd left, and Cesc had told him, "Give him a break. It's hard on him too. It's like when you left Atleti." And Fernando really didn't know what to say to that.
Maybe Cesc didn't realise then just how much he understood too.
2.
Fernando is one of those people who latches on to something, and usually it's something he has a problem with, and just won't stop talking about it. Ranting, more likely. And okay, he makes some good points sometimes, but it's still fucking annoying. He just refuses to shut up. In another life, he'd probably be one of those nutcases who write letters of complaint to everyone and their dog (and never get any replies) or start online petitions, thinking it'll actually help.
Sergio deals with it, because he's just that good of a guy. Iker won't, not ever. He just walks away, or drags him over to someone else's room and shuts him inside. Seriously, life's too short for that shit. Xabi jokes that part of the reason he left is to get away from him and from that, but he still listens, patiently, as is Xabi's way. Pepe's used to it. He knows how to shut him out, how to say, "yes, I totally agree," or, "that is completely outrageous," at the right pauses. Fernando hasn't really caught on to that particular trick yet.
Cesc has never seen him as unbearable as he is when they meet up for the first time after the World Cup, though. He starts going on about how twitter is detrimental to society and how he can't believe Xabi got one, he never would have at Liverpool (goddamned Real Madrid, corrupting him already), and how it is the most useless and terrible waste of time he could possible fathom, and have you seen the types of people who are on that thing, perverts and stalkers - Cesc wants to tell him, "Fernando, you're such a girl sometimes. No, not sometimes. All the time."
Instead, he says, "You are the bitchiest person on the planet." Fernando stops then, and actually looks shocked at the straightforward manner with which it was said. As if he has the audacity to not know that he is a complete bitch. Cesc really is too exasperated now, so he just walks away from him. Iker's right, maybe. Life is too short.
He calls after him a few seconds later though. "Don't let David hear you say that!"
3.
It's the last day in South Africa, and Cesc pokes his head in Fernando's room.
"All packed?"
He's sitting on the edge of his bed, fingers wrapped around a piece of red material. He quickly shoves it into the bag next to his feet, but not before Cesc sees what is unmistakeably part of the most famous phrase associated with Fernando's club on the scarf.
"Yeah. I'm just, you know, thinking."
It's not sad, really. It's like he's missing something, or regretting something else.
"It's just hard sometimes, you know." And Cesc does. He does.
"I mean, I'm happy. Of course. But I feel so useless. And it's probably selfish, but I really sucked, didn't I?"
"You're a great striker, Fernando. I kind of wish it wasn't true, because I have to play against you twice next season. But it is. Things go in cycles or something. I've always believed that."
Fernando just looks at him for a second, like he's seeing something he never has before. Then he just gives him a small nod, an acknowledgement, an understanding.
4.
Because he'd been busy playing catch up with the previous seasons during the airing of season six of LOST, Fernando ends up watching the finale some time after Cesc and Xabi see it. He makes sure that he takes lots of precautions, though, and the Spanish camp becomes a LOST discussion-free zone for a period of time. "Spoil it and I will end you," is his initial warning. To Cesc, of course. Xabi wouldn't ever. Spoilers are just not cool.
He watches it alone in his room on his laptop, turns his phone off and hangs a do not disturb sign on the door. And just lets himself be absorbed for two hours.
After Fernando's done staring at the screen in a mixture of shock and anger for a few minutes after Jack's eye closes (for the last time), he barges into Xabi's room, and practically flings his season five DVD box-set at him.
"I can't believe you made me waste six years of my life."
"What? What are you even talking about?"
"That finale was a joke. What the hell. I did not waste my time on this to see a stupid Sayid and Shannon reunion instead of finding out the pregnant women mystery."
"Why are you mad at me? If you don't remember, you took the DVDs from me without asking."
"Yes, but Xabi, it was so awful. I mean, what was that last scene in the church. So cheesy and ridiculous. And I can't believe the flash sideways was fucking purgatory. Waste of time. Well, at least Suliet was end game," he adds, as an afterthought.
Cesc practically materialises in the room a second later.
"Did you just say Suliet?"
"Yes, they are perfect."
"What? No way. Sawyer and Kate forever."
"Ick. Kate," and Cesc actually has to admire the disgust in his voice.
"She doesn't deserve him," he continues, and okay, maybe he didn't mean to phrase it exactly like that.
"Oh, my God. You have a crush on Sawyer." And fuck Cesc for being more perceptive than he looks sometimes.
"What? Are you insane?" But he's going bright red now.
"You so do." And Xabi actually nods at that. Fernando wants to kill them both.
Cesc is laughing now, almost doubled over. He stops to say, "Nothing you say about the finale can be taken seriously now."
And Fernando just clenches his jaw, and thinks about how much he hates his life.
5.
Fernando barges into his room complaining about someone or the other. Cesc just tunes him out for the most part. Not that he'd probably understand either way. Fernando has a habit of not being very clear about what the fuck he's actually complaining about when he's angry. So he tunes him out, thinking about his schedule for the next day, and the phonecalls he has to make... He catches some vague snippets of what he's saying though. He hears, "with his stupid silky hair," and thinks, oh, Sergio. A couple seconds later, Fernando's saying, "you know how scary he gets sometimes," and that's Iker, now, definitely. Then, "that tactless dick," and obviously, it's Gerard.
It's not really adding up to anything though, even when he gives him his full attention for five more minutes (and he still hasn't paused, not even to breathe - Cesc kind of wants to cover his face with a pillow...and then lock him in the closet, but he still might not stop).
He thinks about it for a second, then makes up his mind, and tries the direct approach.
"Could you just shut the fuck up?"
Of course, it doesn't work. He'd factored that into his plan.
"But I mean, he was-"
The obvious solution then is to cover his big, stupid mouth. Which Cesc does. With his own.
"Oh," Fernando says, half in shock, but it quickly turns to a sigh.
Then he closes his eyes and lets Cesc kiss him properly for a few moments.
Cesc pulls away and Fernando slowly opens his eyes. He realises that Cesc is looking at him intently. And he kind of really doesn't know what to say (he always know what to say - he's good at that part). So, well, he goes with his instincts. Which are usually kind of wrong.
"I'm really glad you shaved that stupid beard. That thing was horrendous."
Cesc Fàbregas/Fernando Torres. For darkblue. Crack, twitter, LOST, etc. Fernando being a bitch and Cesc wondering why he's even bothering.
1.
It kind of sucks winning a World Cup in the midst of that kind of transfer speculation. Cesc swears he's never going to do that again. Well, he could do the World Cup part. Just not. Yeah. It's never happening again. He hates how messy it got, how stupid, how ridiculous.
He remembers Fernando being bitchy (in that sarcastic, condescending way of his) to Xabi after he'd left, and Cesc had told him, "Give him a break. It's hard on him too. It's like when you left Atleti." And Fernando really didn't know what to say to that.
Maybe Cesc didn't realise then just how much he understood too.
2.
Fernando is one of those people who latches on to something, and usually it's something he has a problem with, and just won't stop talking about it. Ranting, more likely. And okay, he makes some good points sometimes, but it's still fucking annoying. He just refuses to shut up. In another life, he'd probably be one of those nutcases who write letters of complaint to everyone and their dog (and never get any replies) or start online petitions, thinking it'll actually help.
Sergio deals with it, because he's just that good of a guy. Iker won't, not ever. He just walks away, or drags him over to someone else's room and shuts him inside. Seriously, life's too short for that shit. Xabi jokes that part of the reason he left is to get away from him and from that, but he still listens, patiently, as is Xabi's way. Pepe's used to it. He knows how to shut him out, how to say, "yes, I totally agree," or, "that is completely outrageous," at the right pauses. Fernando hasn't really caught on to that particular trick yet.
Cesc has never seen him as unbearable as he is when they meet up for the first time after the World Cup, though. He starts going on about how twitter is detrimental to society and how he can't believe Xabi got one, he never would have at Liverpool (goddamned Real Madrid, corrupting him already), and how it is the most useless and terrible waste of time he could possible fathom, and have you seen the types of people who are on that thing, perverts and stalkers - Cesc wants to tell him, "Fernando, you're such a girl sometimes. No, not sometimes. All the time."
Instead, he says, "You are the bitchiest person on the planet." Fernando stops then, and actually looks shocked at the straightforward manner with which it was said. As if he has the audacity to not know that he is a complete bitch. Cesc really is too exasperated now, so he just walks away from him. Iker's right, maybe. Life is too short.
He calls after him a few seconds later though. "Don't let David hear you say that!"
3.
It's the last day in South Africa, and Cesc pokes his head in Fernando's room.
"All packed?"
He's sitting on the edge of his bed, fingers wrapped around a piece of red material. He quickly shoves it into the bag next to his feet, but not before Cesc sees what is unmistakeably part of the most famous phrase associated with Fernando's club on the scarf.
"Yeah. I'm just, you know, thinking."
It's not sad, really. It's like he's missing something, or regretting something else.
"It's just hard sometimes, you know." And Cesc does. He does.
"I mean, I'm happy. Of course. But I feel so useless. And it's probably selfish, but I really sucked, didn't I?"
"You're a great striker, Fernando. I kind of wish it wasn't true, because I have to play against you twice next season. But it is. Things go in cycles or something. I've always believed that."
Fernando just looks at him for a second, like he's seeing something he never has before. Then he just gives him a small nod, an acknowledgement, an understanding.
4.
Because he'd been busy playing catch up with the previous seasons during the airing of season six of LOST, Fernando ends up watching the finale some time after Cesc and Xabi see it. He makes sure that he takes lots of precautions, though, and the Spanish camp becomes a LOST discussion-free zone for a period of time. "Spoil it and I will end you," is his initial warning. To Cesc, of course. Xabi wouldn't ever. Spoilers are just not cool.
He watches it alone in his room on his laptop, turns his phone off and hangs a do not disturb sign on the door. And just lets himself be absorbed for two hours.
After Fernando's done staring at the screen in a mixture of shock and anger for a few minutes after Jack's eye closes (for the last time), he barges into Xabi's room, and practically flings his season five DVD box-set at him.
"I can't believe you made me waste six years of my life."
"What? What are you even talking about?"
"That finale was a joke. What the hell. I did not waste my time on this to see a stupid Sayid and Shannon reunion instead of finding out the pregnant women mystery."
"Why are you mad at me? If you don't remember, you took the DVDs from me without asking."
"Yes, but Xabi, it was so awful. I mean, what was that last scene in the church. So cheesy and ridiculous. And I can't believe the flash sideways was fucking purgatory. Waste of time. Well, at least Suliet was end game," he adds, as an afterthought.
Cesc practically materialises in the room a second later.
"Did you just say Suliet?"
"Yes, they are perfect."
"What? No way. Sawyer and Kate forever."
"Ick. Kate," and Cesc actually has to admire the disgust in his voice.
"She doesn't deserve him," he continues, and okay, maybe he didn't mean to phrase it exactly like that.
"Oh, my God. You have a crush on Sawyer." And fuck Cesc for being more perceptive than he looks sometimes.
"What? Are you insane?" But he's going bright red now.
"You so do." And Xabi actually nods at that. Fernando wants to kill them both.
Cesc is laughing now, almost doubled over. He stops to say, "Nothing you say about the finale can be taken seriously now."
And Fernando just clenches his jaw, and thinks about how much he hates his life.
5.
Fernando barges into his room complaining about someone or the other. Cesc just tunes him out for the most part. Not that he'd probably understand either way. Fernando has a habit of not being very clear about what the fuck he's actually complaining about when he's angry. So he tunes him out, thinking about his schedule for the next day, and the phonecalls he has to make... He catches some vague snippets of what he's saying though. He hears, "with his stupid silky hair," and thinks, oh, Sergio. A couple seconds later, Fernando's saying, "you know how scary he gets sometimes," and that's Iker, now, definitely. Then, "that tactless dick," and obviously, it's Gerard.
It's not really adding up to anything though, even when he gives him his full attention for five more minutes (and he still hasn't paused, not even to breathe - Cesc kind of wants to cover his face with a pillow...and then lock him in the closet, but he still might not stop).
He thinks about it for a second, then makes up his mind, and tries the direct approach.
"Could you just shut the fuck up?"
Of course, it doesn't work. He'd factored that into his plan.
"But I mean, he was-"
The obvious solution then is to cover his big, stupid mouth. Which Cesc does. With his own.
"Oh," Fernando says, half in shock, but it quickly turns to a sigh.
Then he closes his eyes and lets Cesc kiss him properly for a few moments.
Cesc pulls away and Fernando slowly opens his eyes. He realises that Cesc is looking at him intently. And he kind of really doesn't know what to say (he always know what to say - he's good at that part). So, well, he goes with his instincts. Which are usually kind of wrong.
"I'm really glad you shaved that stupid beard. That thing was horrendous."