Happy birthday to me!
So last night was a super-fun birthday party, I had it at the Cadillac Lounge's "Patio", which has got to be the most blatant violation of the anti-smoking bylaw I've ever seen. This "patio" is completely closed in with a well constructed solid walls and a roof, and even has a door installed at the back. It's an "actually heated patio" as Rene put it I was in my t-shirt sitting on the leather couch and smoking cigarettes while we drank.
Unfortunately, my birthday had to fall on the night of a freak freezing rain thunderstorm so only the most hardy and dedicated of my friends and family showed up. They all make my "not fake" list. Oh well, you only get to choose your birthday once. A number of folks who didn't make it sent hbd excuses to me yesterday, which was nice of them. I'll list them at the bottom of this post. Though as degenerate_left points out if he showed up nobody else has a valid excuse. I got the drink spilling out of the way early sending a table of glasses to the floor as I tried to get past them. People sang happy birthday to me and I made a very short speech basically saying that in 30 years I've learned that friends are what really matter in life. We played video hold 'em poker, badly, on the huge movie projection screen behind us. Anne said I was the oldest person she knew, and that turning 30 made me automatically creepy; Jen said "so you're not in your twenties anymore" which I responded with "Yeah, I'm fucking done with that!"; Sarah said it was nice to know someone else is almost as old as her and I complemented her on newly died hair (plus she gave me a slice of pizza and a valentines heart driveway reflector which she must have pulled off someone's lawn); My sister-in-law Fern said she thought I was older; my brother Ed congratulated himself on following through on our long-standing plans to hang out and they gave me JD and Jagermister shots. Marque did hand puppets with his cigarette on the projection screen while the figure skating was on - I swear he made one of the athletes fall; and Rene and Dale got stuck with an inordinate percentage of the bill at the end of the night, good on 'em for taking care of it (I chipped in a bit too). Our server was Kerry and he also uses Mick as a pseudonym and he was courtious, prompt, and understanding.
Birthdays rule! I mean what other day can you be the center of attention and get people to give you stuff simply for not dying? Well, I guess you can also do that if you're actually dying, but I'd rather have a party at a bar than in the ICU.
Speaking of not dying, it was a close one yesterday! I was driving my work truck down an icy hill (after driving super-careful all day long) and this schmuck decides that it's a good time to do an illegal turn in front of me! Needless to say I held my horn down as I passed him yelling "whoah! What the fuck? You fucking idiot!" to myself and he had the nerve to honk back at me. I would have been pissed if I crashed into him and missed my party.
Speaking of missing my party, here's a list of excuses people emailed to me. Edited for length and to make some more funny.
-I missed your bash
-I couldn't make it out last night
-My masters is due on Monday so I really gotta do nothing but work until then
-I won't be able to come out tonight because we are in the thick of Israeli Apartheid
-I have to work tonight
-I have a presentation to do for class tomorrow and some research to do, it's just so damn south from me
-I'm only able to walk a few steps after this round of surgeries, so i'm not mobile enough to get out.
-I am sick as a dog (a sick dog i guess)
-I won't be able to join you
-I'm going to be in calgary that night. or at least somewhere in the air in a plane.
-I'll be DJing!
-I have a taiko gig that night
-I CAN'T MAKE IT TONIGHT YOU FUCK HEAD
Unfortunately, my birthday had to fall on the night of a freak freezing rain thunderstorm so only the most hardy and dedicated of my friends and family showed up. They all make my "not fake" list. Oh well, you only get to choose your birthday once. A number of folks who didn't make it sent hbd excuses to me yesterday, which was nice of them. I'll list them at the bottom of this post. Though as degenerate_left points out if he showed up nobody else has a valid excuse. I got the drink spilling out of the way early sending a table of glasses to the floor as I tried to get past them. People sang happy birthday to me and I made a very short speech basically saying that in 30 years I've learned that friends are what really matter in life. We played video hold 'em poker, badly, on the huge movie projection screen behind us. Anne said I was the oldest person she knew, and that turning 30 made me automatically creepy; Jen said "so you're not in your twenties anymore" which I responded with "Yeah, I'm fucking done with that!"; Sarah said it was nice to know someone else is almost as old as her and I complemented her on newly died hair (plus she gave me a slice of pizza and a valentines heart driveway reflector which she must have pulled off someone's lawn); My sister-in-law Fern said she thought I was older; my brother Ed congratulated himself on following through on our long-standing plans to hang out and they gave me JD and Jagermister shots. Marque did hand puppets with his cigarette on the projection screen while the figure skating was on - I swear he made one of the athletes fall; and Rene and Dale got stuck with an inordinate percentage of the bill at the end of the night, good on 'em for taking care of it (I chipped in a bit too). Our server was Kerry and he also uses Mick as a pseudonym and he was courtious, prompt, and understanding.
Birthdays rule! I mean what other day can you be the center of attention and get people to give you stuff simply for not dying? Well, I guess you can also do that if you're actually dying, but I'd rather have a party at a bar than in the ICU.
Speaking of not dying, it was a close one yesterday! I was driving my work truck down an icy hill (after driving super-careful all day long) and this schmuck decides that it's a good time to do an illegal turn in front of me! Needless to say I held my horn down as I passed him yelling "whoah! What the fuck? You fucking idiot!" to myself and he had the nerve to honk back at me. I would have been pissed if I crashed into him and missed my party.
Speaking of missing my party, here's a list of excuses people emailed to me. Edited for length and to make some more funny.
-I missed your bash
-I couldn't make it out last night
-My masters is due on Monday so I really gotta do nothing but work until then
-I won't be able to come out tonight because we are in the thick of Israeli Apartheid
-I have to work tonight
-I have a presentation to do for class tomorrow and some research to do, it's just so damn south from me
-I'm only able to walk a few steps after this round of surgeries, so i'm not mobile enough to get out.
-I am sick as a dog (a sick dog i guess)
-I won't be able to join you
-I'm going to be in calgary that night. or at least somewhere in the air in a plane.
-I'll be DJing!
-I have a taiko gig that night
-I CAN'T MAKE IT TONIGHT YOU FUCK HEAD