Living Right Is In the Trying

[reticentric]

Chapter Three

The next day Dean found himself to be pretty busy. Now that the tractor was fixed they had something to cut the larger portions of grass with, and since he was younger Rufus said he should do it. So he did. He was just thankful the sun wasn’t beaming down hotly or he would have ended up with one hell of a harsh sunburn on his nose and arms. After that he used the weed eater to get rid of the high reaching weeds around all of the tents and destroyed a few ant hills with the water hose. By the time he got back from the gas station with gas for the generators, it was creeping towards lunch time.

His forearms were dirty and sweaty. He smelled like grass and dirt but he was surprisingly happy. For the first time in a long time there was nothing on his mind except for the jobs he had to do. And sure Gabriel was basically going to pay him in beans but that didn’t matter. He wasn’t busting his ass to do a good job for the money. He was working hard because later when his muscles ached and he had to scrub to get rid of the various smells stuck to his skin his mind was too lethargic to overwork itself. Getting drunk had the same effect but also came with a hangover.

Anyway there was one house on the property that wasn’t really a house at all. It was more like a functioning barn or shack where they keep things like Christmas decorations and lawn tools. Rufus had revealed that one time it had been a farmhouse to an elderly couple but they’d since moved to Florida after selling everything to Gabriel. And instead of him maintaining everything, he took out all of the furniture but kept the power working for those “just in case” situations. That was where Dean bent down in front of the spigot to splash cool water onto his face and wash his hands.

He got his face as close as he could, letting the cold liquid run over his forehead and nose. It felt amazing on his hot skin and he sighed, lashes fluttering with heavy droplets. Pulling back, he turned off the faucet and stood, feeling beads of water run down the front of his shirt and along his neck. He paid them no attention and strolled over to where Gabriel was scraping the large black grill free of muck, probably getting it ready for tonight. He liked to serve grilled food to the customers Rufus had explained. He had a “secret recipe” or something.

Castiel was with him-which seemed usual-standing to the side with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.

“Need any help?” Dean inquired once he reached them.

Gabriel shook his head. “Nah I’m good. Besides don’t wanna break you on your second day. I know Rufus has had you hopping like the studly bunny you are.”

Dean huffed. “Yeah but I don’t mind. And he promised me apples if I did a good job so that I can make a pie from scratch.”

Gabriel arched a brow. “You bake, you cut grass…is there anything you don’t do?”

Dean actually thought for a moment. “I’m not really good with math.”

Gabriel laughed and slapped his spatula against the side of a bucket, shaking off thick grease. “Good thing you won’t need that here. Well you won’t need long division here in any case. Really I don’t think anyone needs long division ever. I’ve never been somewhere and thought damn I could use some long division right now.”

“Me either.” He snickered. “You’re mighty quiet, Cas. Everything okay?”

“He’s fine.” Gabriel mused cutting his eyes to him. “All those dewdrops on your pretty face have just rendered him mute for a bit but he’ll snap out of it soon.”

Both of Dean’s brows shot up as Castiel blinked and tore his gaze away from his face. “You talk too much Gabriel.” The tips of his ears were turning pink; it was adorable and Dean didn’t throw that word around lightly if ever. “And nothing you say is ever of any import.”

Gabriel stuck his tongue out childishly. “Dean knows he is pretty. Pretty people know they are pretty. Now the trick however would be getting other people to pay just to see him be pretty.”

Dean shook his head. “I doubt anyone would wanna waste their hard earned money on me. Looks aside I don’t have any talents or skills.”

“Pretty is a skill. Ask any supermodel.” Gabriel shrugged. “Anyway Deano tonight is a big show night because our little Castiel here is going to be front and center, so I’m going to need you on litter duty. But just when there are big crowds or a lot of annoying little munchkins running around. Otherwise feel free to lurk in the shadows like a serial killer.”

“Will you be coming to see me?” Castiel asked quietly.

Dean nodded. “Hell yeah. I wouldn’t miss it. I wanna be in the loop.”

Gabriel winked at him. “Oh it’ll knock you for a loop alright.” Leaning back, he turned his attention behind Dean. “Jo Harvelle! What brings you to my happy little hole? Bringin’ meat or looking for some.”

Exiting a dusty van that had seen better days, Jo pulled out a red cooler and lugged it over. “Both. Mom says hello by the way.” She dropped the cooler by the grill. “Hey Dean. You gonna take me up on that drinking contest tonight or what?”

Dean had to admit she looked nice in her tight purple shirt and jeans. Like she could pull off being a tomboy yet still manage to be sexy at the same time. But her face just looked so young. He wasn’t sure how old she was but she looked about Sammy’s age, and jailbait was always off the menu. “Can’t. Gotta work.”

She pouted, hitting him in the chest. “How are we supposed to become best friends if you don’t hang out with me? More importantly how am I supposed to really beat you at pool if you don’t offer me a rematch?”

He smirked. “You won but you want a rematch?”

She folded her arms over her chest. “Yes but you let me win. You totally creamed Jake. There is no way you would have missed that eight ball except on purpose. I’m a big girl, Dean. I don’t need anyone to let me do anything. I would have beaten you either way.”

“No.” He leaned closer. “You wouldn’t have.”

Her eyes darted to his lips and then back up to his eyes. “We’ll see.” She patted Gabriel’s arm. “Later. Oh, hey Castiel.” And then she was heading back to her van while Castiel remained more stoic than Dean had ever seen him.

Chicks. “Well I gotta get a sandwich before Rufus finds a chicken he wants me to pluck. See you guys later.”

Perhaps he’d give Sam another call too. He’d appreciate the gesture because he was a giant girl and any time he got to have a Lifetime moment he enjoyed himself.

~*~

Dean wasn’t sure what to expect during “show nights”. Most of the touristy places that he’d visited only sold weird crap or showed off things you weren’t sure you ever wanted to see in the first place. The alligator boy came to mind. Anyway though Gabriel was a showman and he liked to make a scene. He also had gaudy taste and an affinity for anything gold, real or otherwise. Hence the shiny gold vest he was currently wearing and the shiny top hat while he grilled up burgers and hotdogs.

It was weird but everyone seemed to be having a good time. Rufus was playing a guitar, kids were hopped up on sweets and running around like little maniacs, and people were darting from tent to tent with stars in their eyes. It shouldn’t have worked because it wasn’t a traveling sort of thing but it did. Though he got the feeling for some it was just something to do in an otherwise lifeless town. But better this than getting into real trouble tipping over cows or shit like that.

Spying no paper or cigarette butts on the ground, Dean decided to see what the fuss was about. Naturally he wanted to head straight for Castiel’s tent-which was the biggest with colorful Chinese lanterns surrounding it-but he reframed. Told himself it would be sweeter if he waited like getting pie after a sucky dinner. So his first stop was to the so-called psychic and the floral pink sign proclaiming her as such.

He waited outside patiently until the woman whom went in before him exited, clutching a picture frame to her chest with tears in her eyes. She looked pleased though so he just arched a brow and ducked through the open flap, looking around inside. There were mannequins wearing poofy wigs and those theater masks, wind chimes that jiggled whenever a light breeze blew through and a round wooden table in the center of the room. On top were a blue tablecloth and a glowing crystal ball with a deck of tarot cards. And sitting serenely in the dimness was the young girl he’d noticed Cas walking with.

She was pretty in an everyday girl sort of way; her big blue eyes and gentle smile genuine.

“Um hey.” He said slowly. “I’m-”

“Dean. I know.” She smiled and gestured for him to sit down. “Castiel told me. I’m Ava Wilson.”

Dean sat down with a small chuckle. “And here I thought you’d seen it in your crystal ball. Well it’s nice to meet you Ava.”

She studied him quietly for a moment, tugging on her big gold hoop earrings. “I’m not shocked you don’t believe in any of this stuff. I didn’t either before it happened to me. I always thought I was normal.” Pause. “Just a secretary from Peoria that you wouldn’t be able to pick out of a crowd if it killed you.”

He wet his lips. “But now you can see the future?”

She nodded. “Not all of it and not just anything so if you wanna know next week’s lottery numbers you’re screwed.” He laughed and she continued. “But yeah I’m pretty good with the cards and I get visions. It was a gift my Aunt had and I guess it passed on to me. Though Aunt Pamela was way better at it than I am. She could see big events before they happened and spirits were just dying-excuse the pun-to talk to her.”

“So does that mean you know my life story?” He inquired. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He didn’t like people knowing everything about him.

Ava shook her head. “No. I do know that you’ve been touched by a lot of sadness in your life…but that’s in your eyes.” A sly smirk. “And Castiel touched on it.”

While making a mental note to think about that later, he felt himself tense. “What isn’t in my eyes?”

Dragging her clear painted nails over the shiny ball, she tapped it lightly and winced as if it pained her. “Your personal pain, the kind you don’t want anyone to know you have.” She sighed and placed her hands palm up on the table. “You’re here to get your future told. C’mon then.”

Dean was tempted to get up and leave but he didn’t want her to think that she’d hit a nerve, so he slowly placed his hands in hers.

“Ooh I see a fight. You’re fighting.” Her flashes fluttered. “It’s not bad-it’s sort of a misunderstanding. I see a calm starry night and a big black car, and you’re happy. And-oh!” Jerking back, she cleared her throat but her shoulders jiggled with the laughter she couldn’t hold in. “Let’s just say good things are coming your way, Dean. When you finally leave us for California, you’re gonna be in a better place. Emotionally.”

What the fuck? He tried to remember had he told anyone about California. He was pretty sure that he hadn’t uttered it to a fucking soul, not even to Rufus because really that was none of their business. And the less he thought about it the less he wanted to punch something.

Probably sensing his discomfort Ava patted his wrist. “It’s okay Dean. I’m legit-it’s not the end of the world and I won’t tell anyone what I saw I swear. Whatever you’re running from I can totally relate.” She exhaled shakily. “Fact is there was a time when my life was totally messed up. Everyone here’s got a story and is hiding from something bad.”

“What are you hiding from?”

“My ex fiancé. He used to beat the hell outta me when I got like a vision wrong or something and it cost him money. I’d see it coming and I’d still stay. I was an idiot back then.”

“He hit a chick, he was the idiot.” Dean replied, his jaw clenching.

She smiled thoughtfully. “I probably would have married him anyway because that is how much I loved him if it hadn’t been for this recurring nightmare I had where he strangled me one night. So I left everything and was just thankful to meet Gabriel outside a bar in Idaho.”

Silence.

“You’re freaked out. It’s normal. But if Jake can bench press over three hundred and fifty pounds, I don’t think it’s so farfetched to think there are other special people out there.” She shrugged her small shoulders. “You’ll get used to us.”

He really fucken doubted it. “I’m gonna go.” Standing, he dug out his wallet. “How much do I owe you for the mind fuck?”

Ava snickered. “First one’s on the house. Like a crack dealer. Gotta keep you coming back for more.”

Dean scoffed and quickly hurried on his way feeling like he needed a stiff drink to counteract the crazy. He’d never been one for things not rooted in reality. He believed if he could see it and he could touch it then it was real. Hoodoo and voodoo were just something people used to occupy themselves with like any other supernatural thing. Honestly sometimes he felt like that about God because really what God would merrily fuck up his life the way it was without so much as a care? An asshole one or one that didn’t even exist that’s what.

The latter was easier to swallow.

Rubbing the back of his neck he pushed Tinkerbell to the back of his mind. He wasn’t going to let her scare him off that easily. He had to work with these people or at least around them so he wanted to know their deal. But seriously if Cas turned out to be all Haley Joel Osment he was going to choke someone. The last thing he needed was to be haunted by anymore ghosts from his past.

Two older men came out of the next nearest tent laughing and hitting lightly at each other talking about falling off large hay bales. They passed a rickety sign that read Wizard of the Mind! and Dean idly thought that later he’d make a new one that wasn’t falling off its’ post. He steadied himself for whatever would happen and entered the tent, surprised to find it vastly different from Ava’s.

While hers was right out of some gypsy movie, this one looked like the inside of a shag van. Two disco balls hung from the ceiling and on the wall was a giant painting of a barbarian queen wielding a sword and riding a polar bear. Dean’s fourteen year old self would have been all over this kinda shit.

Sitting in a recliner in a bathrobe and pajamas, reading a comic book was a scruffy looking dude, his hair going every which way.

What is with these people? “Hey.”

Scruffy looked over and grinned. “Hey! Come in, come in bro. You’re the new guy, right? I saw you with Rufus.” He put down his comic book. “I’m Andy. Andy Gallagher.”

“Dean Winchester.” Pause. “This is a bitchin’ place you got.”

Andy grinned wider. “Thanks. Gabriel pretty much let me do whatever I want with it. He’s awesome like that.”

There was a bean bag chair but Dean didn’t like the look of it. “I guess.”

Andy squinted at him. “Ah you’ve seen Ava huh? Freaky shit isn’t it? I remember when she told me she saw fire in my future and then a week later I didn’t put a joint out all the way and almost burned the place down. If I hadn’t been high I would have appreciated the weirdness of it.” A shrug. “Sure you wanna see me work my mojo? Might freak you out even more.”

Dean scowled. “I’m fine. What is it you do exactly, anyway?”

“I read minds. I can pick thoughts and images out of people’s heads. With the really suggestible I can even project my thoughts onto them though I don’t do that a lot. Gabriel said it freaks people out.” He explained languidly. “Don’t worry; I’m not gonna be rooting around in your brain for your deep dark secrets. Just surface thoughts.”

Funny enough that didn’t make Dean feel any better. “Okay. Go for it.”

Andy got up and stretched, groaning when something in his back popped. He shuffled over to a cooler full of ice on the ground and flipped it open, pulling out a beer. “I’d say you think I’m a whack job but I think that’s a given. Who is Sam though? There is a lot of Sam and Sammy rattling around in your noggin.”

Dean chewed on the inside of his cheek. There was no need to be upset because he’d expected something like this. “He’s my brother.”

“Little brother. You’re worried about him.” Andy took out another beer and tossed it to Dean. “You think-you hope he’s okay. For what it’s worth I’m sure he is.”

“Because I seem so put together?”

“Nah. I just figure most normal people have normal siblings. I got a brother.”

“Is he like you with the mind crap?”

“Uh, no. He’s more the stalked me creepily and then tried to kill my girlfriend type.”

“What?”

“Yeah dude was mental.” Andy sipped his beer. “I think he wanted to take over my life or something. I had to leave town.”

Dean was sensing a theme here. “And then you met Gabriel and he took you in?”

“Bingo!” Andy winked at him. “Yeah. Your thoughts are right. We’re all screwed up. But being here isn’t so bad. Would I rather be on a yacht in Italy, duh. Who wouldn’t? Still I got everything I need here.”

He could respect that. “Cool. Glad things are working out for you.”

Andy made a face. “Stay here long enough and when the next new person comes, you’ll be telling them your story just like the rest of us. We’re good people.”

“Yeah I can see that.” He pried the top off his beer and gulped down half in a few short swallows. “Good, weird people.”

“Heh yeah that’s about right.” Stretching back out onto his second hand couch, Andy gestured to the flaps. “You should check out Max when he’s doing his thing. I don’t think he’s on tonight.”

That was fine with Dean. He wasn’t exactly in the mood for someone else to reach down inside of him and pull out something he’d rather keep hidden. “Guess I’ll go see Cas then.”

Andy clapped happily. “Awesome! I love Castiel. He’s so straight laced and shit, like a robot. I can never get a good read on his thoughts-it’s like he has them on lock down. Which would make perfect sense if he is fact a robot.”

Chuckling, Dean took another swallow from his bottle and then left, tossing it into one of the hefty blue barrels outside. He dragged his blunt nails over the back of his neck and started on his way, passing through the throng of people ranging from four to sixty. At first he hadn’t understood how a tourist trap could stay in business in a bum fuck town like this but now he got it. Even though people had probably seen the “shows” more than once, they kept coming back because it still didn’t seem real. Or they just wanted to know how it was all done.

He couldn’t help but think Sam would love something like this. And believe in it whole-heartedly.

Licking his lips, he steeled himself against whatever Castiel’s talent might be and walked through the tacked back sides of his tent. The inside was comfortable almost as if when he wasn’t in his trailer he spent most of his time here, so it had to be nice and cozy. There were shelves full of books, a plush sofa that looked made out of velvet or something and two antique looking lamps on small end tables.

And there was Castiel wrapped in a blanket sitting calmly with a book in his lap, hair tousled and cheeks flushed. Just what the hell did he do around here anyway?

Dean whistled. “I’m a little confused by your set up.”

“Oh?” Castiel placed a sash between the pages of whatever he was reading and closed it. “What would you like to be explained to you?”

Dean chuckled and waved a hand. “No it’s just. I checked out Ava and Andy and while Andy’s place smelled like Snoop Dog’s dressing room, it kinda fits him. Ava’s too. But this is-well when I think of you I don’t think swank.”

Castiel frowned. “Swank? Everything here was found at the local dump and restored.”

“You just strike me as the more traditional type I guess.” He hunched his shoulders slowly. “Professor-y.”

Castiel appeared amused. “Interesting I suppose.”

Cringing inwardly, Dean dug into his pocket and fished out twenty dollars. “So now what am I paying for? And the cops aren’t gonna bust in here and arrest me, right?”

“I am not a prostitute.” Castiel deadpanned. “If I were I would be charging quite a bit more than twenty dollars.”

Dean snickered and handed him the money, watching as he tucked it into a cigar box under the chair. “How are you gonna top Ava and Andy?”

“I-”

“Winchester!” Rufus yelled from outside. “Where the hell are you, boy? I’m up to my elbows in candy wrappers and soda cans!”

Fuck! “Gimme a minute!”

“It’s alright, Dean. Come back after everyone has left.” Castiel said. “I do not mind waiting for you.”

“Cool.” Smiling Dean turned to head out and caught sight of a tall figure lurking behind one of those divider shade things. He thought about saying something in case the guy was trouble but figured Cas knew he was back there, acting like a major creeper.

What have I gotten myself into?

~*~

By the time Dean had dumped every barrel free of trash and ran them over with the water hose, the grounds were mostly quiet. Only a few stragglers remained, ambling to their vehicles as Gabriel waved them off with a smile. Dean knew he should help close up shop but Rufus just waved him off and told him to get on. So Dean did. He didn’t want to seem over eager but he couldn’t help himself especially since Rufus had teased him about Castiel’s “big secret” while at the dump.

Honestly he had no idea what to expect. Would the guy be able to walk on water or something?

He found Castiel almost exactly like he had left him, curled up like a contented cat and reading. “Hey.”

“Hello Dean.” Castiel snapped his book closed and stood. “Are you ready?”

“Uh…” Dean nodded slowly. Unsurely. “Sure. Show me what you got.”

Honestly Dean had no idea what to expect; everyone and everything here was just so fucken strange. He was being exposed to people who could do the most amazing things. Things he’d only seen on tv or read about in comic books. And he wasn’t the kinda person who believed in psychics or ghosts or God, or any of that other nonsense. When he was younger, yeah, but life had succeeded in beating all of the hope and faith out of him.

Still he hadn’t-there was just no way to think that under the soft looking blanket Castiel was shirtless, revealing so much skin, his jeans slung low and clinging to his hips.

When it came to body parts Dean fancied himself a neck, boobs and ass man but Castiel’s sharp hipbones were making him rethink some of his life choices.

Before he could ask what was going on, Castiel’s shoulders drew up and he grunted lowly, his brows furrowing into a tight frown. There was an odd sound like two pieces of fabric rubbing against each other and suddenly they exploded from Castiel’s back. Two huge fucken white wings. Pristine, ivory white with sleek feathers that reached out to either sides of the tent and arched over Castiel’s head.

Dean stared. He stared and his eyes were so wide that he could feel the strain against his top lids but he couldn’t have closed them even if he wanted to. They shifted quickly-jerkily-from one wing to the other, to the joint where they could curl around Castiel’s shoulders and enfold him like a shawl.

No. Fucken. Way.

Dragging his tongue across his lips, Dean kept a bit of distance as he circled Castiel midway so that he could see behind him. He figured there would be strings or straps or something holding the wings up but naturally there wasn’t. The joints disappeared into his smooth toned back, the skin sealed around them seamlessly. But where had they come from!? How did he keep them inside of him?! Why didn’t they hurt!?

Basically what the fucking fuck!?

When his green eyes met soul consuming blue, Dean still hadn’t thought of anything to say beyond wuh. Castiel looked smug and yet slightly embarrassed as well, and he flushed prettily under Dean’s laser-like scrutiny.

Dean was at once overcome with the urge to touch him. He wanted to bury his fingers in those feathers as deep as he could; test how soft they were. His fingers twitched with it and he had to ball his hands into tight fists to keep them by his sides. However before he could voice that urge or any other, the lurking shape from earlier materialized into a blonde man wearing a V-neck shirt and dark slacks. He was older-maybe Castiel’s age-with a douche-y looking goatee and an air of indifference around him. Like he was above it all, whatever it was.

“Well I think that is enough for one night, don’t you Cassy?” He grabbed Dean by the shoulders and ushered him none too gently outside muttering show’s over before snapping the flaps closed in his face.

Chapter Four