Mouthwash
Well I can't stop crying when I'm alone. I try to be with people all the time, try to do homework all the time, try to be in class all the time, try to be doing something ALL THE TIME, because if I'm not I just cry. Huge, gasping, moaning tears. And they're not for any particular reason. I'm sad when I'm crying, but besides that I'm pretty okay. Or maybe I'm just faking myself into thinking that. Whatever. I'm not MISERABLE. I just cry. I want to go to the counseling center here, but I can't make myself pick up the phone and dial to make an appointment. Balls. Nothing seems REAL anymore, everything's just pointless, and I go along with it, but when I'm alone I can't do it anymore and the hopelessness and ridiculousness of life presses in on me and I just BURST. I'm like a water balloon that someone keeps feeling up with water, stretching past the point that makes it a useful water balloon, keeps pouring in the water, the balloon skin becoming thin, almost transparent, losing its color and BAM, it really is too much water and I'm alone and the person ties the water balloon and it just bursts all over them. Water everywhere.
PS.
I love Kate Nash.