Chapter XXX, in which I am a Silly Girl
If there is one thing my life has not been, that's mundane. I've suffered through severe depression, aggression, hate, and all those emotions that give you ulcers and keep you up at night. In reviewing those bad times, I'd like to think I've grown as a person, and have learned to be patient in stressful moments.
However, this is not to say I don't ever get stressed or frustrated... and sometimes I need to vent. THIS IS ME VENTING, okay? Okay.
I would like you guys to know, for anyone that didn't already, 2008 is the year I stop being the one to go first. This started over a year ago, and has currently worked out for the best.
I'm done leaving multiple (unreturned) voicemails, done emailing/messaging to no response, just over it. You know how much it sucks to realize that I haven't talked to someone since March and it's now mid-August? It sucks more to realize that there are enough people out there that will continue making me feel this way. My main downfall is that I'm nice. You know what happens to nice people? They become bitter, not-so-nice people because of people that took advantage of them.
The other thing that really hurts is when you tell me you are going to do something, be somewhere, meet me somewhere, and then lie about it. Just be up front! If you don't want to go because you're out of gas, because you're broke, because you have a headache, because aliens are taking over, because you don't like the way I look when I'm eating, that's fine. Just say so. If you don't say so, it turns into that cycle we all know:
-We make plans
-You flake or lie about it
-I call that day
-You don't answer
-I call the next day
-You still don't answer
-A week goes by, I email/message and try to call
-You read my messages but still don't answer
-Three months pass
-You call and hang up when it goes to my voicemail
-I see the missed call, call you back, you don't answer
-One month goes by, I randomly call, you don't answer
-I call back from another number, you answer!
-You give me short answers or watch TV while you talk
-That's awkward
-We're awkward
-We stop talking
-Fast forward a couple more months, you call and don't even mention anything and ask if I want to hang out
-Of course I say yes because I'm stupid
-Repeat cycle
If we haven't talked in months, if you send me random 'hello-how-are-you' messages once every six months and don't respond when I ask you how you've been (or why you've been MIA), you make me wonder why we even bother. This is my telling you I'm not *going* to bother anymore, and it's sad I can't say that with as callous an attitude as some of you have. It's sad that I even have to make this post, but it's been bugging me for a long time.
Another thing that is apparently The Norm: You start dating someone and suddenly forget I exist. Guys don't do this. Guys will start dating someone and the regularity of their keeping in touch drops, but at least they know how to return a call/text/email. Females suddenly find that Their New Dude is the solution to all life's troubles, and forget anybody exists outside of that newness. Then, when the newness wears off, females will STILL not call you back... until they have a problem with Dude.
I have few female friends who know how to maintain relationships as well as friendships. Sadly they focus on small annoyances that I might have caused (yes, this is me admitting my flaws), and turn that into a full grudge. They can no longer talk about it because they don't really know why they're not talking to me, they just know it's easier.
It's unfortunate when things have to come to this, and it's lame when people can't be up front and just courteously tell you that they would rather not hang out for WHATEVER reason. It might be a stupid reason, but it's better than making the other person wonder why you are the way you are. Also, if it's me, I'd rather try to apologize and fix the issues you might have with me. Don't lead me on like you really want to be friends if you don't. I don't have that kind of time to waste anymore, and would rather move on to more productive habits and friendships.
Also unfortunately (for me), I give far too many chances.
This could go on, but I don't want to make it specific - despite it stemming from specific people. I don't even know if I'll be able to call up those specific people and talk to them about it, but it helps me to do this. I suppose it doesn't matter; not like they're going to answer.
If this hits close to home, then you need to wonder if I'm perhaps doing you the favor you couldn't be bothered with doing for me.
However, this is not to say I don't ever get stressed or frustrated... and sometimes I need to vent. THIS IS ME VENTING, okay? Okay.
I would like you guys to know, for anyone that didn't already, 2008 is the year I stop being the one to go first. This started over a year ago, and has currently worked out for the best.
I'm done leaving multiple (unreturned) voicemails, done emailing/messaging to no response, just over it. You know how much it sucks to realize that I haven't talked to someone since March and it's now mid-August? It sucks more to realize that there are enough people out there that will continue making me feel this way. My main downfall is that I'm nice. You know what happens to nice people? They become bitter, not-so-nice people because of people that took advantage of them.
The other thing that really hurts is when you tell me you are going to do something, be somewhere, meet me somewhere, and then lie about it. Just be up front! If you don't want to go because you're out of gas, because you're broke, because you have a headache, because aliens are taking over, because you don't like the way I look when I'm eating, that's fine. Just say so. If you don't say so, it turns into that cycle we all know:
-We make plans
-You flake or lie about it
-I call that day
-You don't answer
-I call the next day
-You still don't answer
-A week goes by, I email/message and try to call
-You read my messages but still don't answer
-Three months pass
-You call and hang up when it goes to my voicemail
-I see the missed call, call you back, you don't answer
-One month goes by, I randomly call, you don't answer
-I call back from another number, you answer!
-You give me short answers or watch TV while you talk
-That's awkward
-We're awkward
-We stop talking
-Fast forward a couple more months, you call and don't even mention anything and ask if I want to hang out
-Of course I say yes because I'm stupid
-Repeat cycle
If we haven't talked in months, if you send me random 'hello-how-are-you' messages once every six months and don't respond when I ask you how you've been (or why you've been MIA), you make me wonder why we even bother. This is my telling you I'm not *going* to bother anymore, and it's sad I can't say that with as callous an attitude as some of you have. It's sad that I even have to make this post, but it's been bugging me for a long time.
Another thing that is apparently The Norm: You start dating someone and suddenly forget I exist. Guys don't do this. Guys will start dating someone and the regularity of their keeping in touch drops, but at least they know how to return a call/text/email. Females suddenly find that Their New Dude is the solution to all life's troubles, and forget anybody exists outside of that newness. Then, when the newness wears off, females will STILL not call you back... until they have a problem with Dude.
I have few female friends who know how to maintain relationships as well as friendships. Sadly they focus on small annoyances that I might have caused (yes, this is me admitting my flaws), and turn that into a full grudge. They can no longer talk about it because they don't really know why they're not talking to me, they just know it's easier.
It's unfortunate when things have to come to this, and it's lame when people can't be up front and just courteously tell you that they would rather not hang out for WHATEVER reason. It might be a stupid reason, but it's better than making the other person wonder why you are the way you are. Also, if it's me, I'd rather try to apologize and fix the issues you might have with me. Don't lead me on like you really want to be friends if you don't. I don't have that kind of time to waste anymore, and would rather move on to more productive habits and friendships.
Also unfortunately (for me), I give far too many chances.
This could go on, but I don't want to make it specific - despite it stemming from specific people. I don't even know if I'll be able to call up those specific people and talk to them about it, but it helps me to do this. I suppose it doesn't matter; not like they're going to answer.
If this hits close to home, then you need to wonder if I'm perhaps doing you the favor you couldn't be bothered with doing for me.