a note to all ugly ducklings
I have been pondering all of the facebook posts and NPR stories about gay teens
who have been bullied and killed themselves.
It breaks my heart that children can feel this is the only choice they have
or that this is a reasonable choice at all,
and it terrifies me as my child approaches adolescence
and as my nieces chart their courses through it.
Last night Isaiah picked out three books to read at bedtime.
One of them turned out to be a version of The Ugly Duckling.
As I read it I couldn't help but think of these children who are struggling with their identities,
as all adolescents struggle with their identities,
but with the added burden of feeling, and actually being told, that they absolutely do not belong
in the world they have grown up in so far.
I couldn't help but be struck by the similarity.
The "ugly duckling" (who, we know, is really a signet, a baby swan)
feels pathetic and unloved. He runs away many times,
"knowing" that he will "always" be this lesser being,
that he will always be different, wrong, illegitimate, "ugly."
He certainly could have given up at any time,
accepted this identity that others placed upon him,
but something makes him push on, until the day
that he meets others that are so beautiful,
that he wants so much to be with,
but he still he feels unworthy.
That is, until someone sees him and points out that HE is one of these beautiful creatures.
He is not, as he has been told all of his young life, an ugly duckling.
He is a beautiful swan.
My prayer is that all children, of all sexual orientations, backgrounds,
races, religions, can come to this realization.
Because they are all such beautiful swans.
who have been bullied and killed themselves.
It breaks my heart that children can feel this is the only choice they have
or that this is a reasonable choice at all,
and it terrifies me as my child approaches adolescence
and as my nieces chart their courses through it.
Last night Isaiah picked out three books to read at bedtime.
One of them turned out to be a version of The Ugly Duckling.
As I read it I couldn't help but think of these children who are struggling with their identities,
as all adolescents struggle with their identities,
but with the added burden of feeling, and actually being told, that they absolutely do not belong
in the world they have grown up in so far.
I couldn't help but be struck by the similarity.
The "ugly duckling" (who, we know, is really a signet, a baby swan)
feels pathetic and unloved. He runs away many times,
"knowing" that he will "always" be this lesser being,
that he will always be different, wrong, illegitimate, "ugly."
He certainly could have given up at any time,
accepted this identity that others placed upon him,
but something makes him push on, until the day
that he meets others that are so beautiful,
that he wants so much to be with,
but he still he feels unworthy.
That is, until someone sees him and points out that HE is one of these beautiful creatures.
He is not, as he has been told all of his young life, an ugly duckling.
He is a beautiful swan.
My prayer is that all children, of all sexual orientations, backgrounds,
races, religions, can come to this realization.
Because they are all such beautiful swans.