I'm back.
So Basicaly, I decided to bring back my live journal.
Well, not my old one. Too many people read that who shouldn't.
Anyways, as you can see... Instead of retartedbananas, I am now retartedgrapes.
Good enough. If you were on my friends before, add me again & I will add you back.
I'm considering making this private soon.
On to other things.
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School has been going ok.
Lacrosse has been going ok.
Home has been going ok.
I've been going ok.
There's been a few things on my mind recently, well a lot more then a few. A few things for each of the above subjects. I'm having a bit of trouble catching up in school from the days that I missed.. I'm worried my grades will be permanently affected. Lacrosse has been fun, but it kind of stresses me out sometimes, & it makes me even busier then I was before. And as for home, things are a little rough around the edges as usual, but nothing too horrible I suppose, or atleast nothing that's any one elses business. & me, well, I think that's where the true issues are starting to arise again. I was doing fine for a while, but lately I feel like I've been slipping again. It's really strange, and kind of frightening; I don't want to be the way I was before, you know? And I'm getting that feeling that I've been here before, I've done this before, I've felt this before... And I know what's coming next. I think part of this is my own fault, well, all of this is. I finaly became stable, & I was doing great again. But then It's like, I felt good enough to begin to take a risk, and right now that risk is well... just that... risky. It's like the give an inch & want a mile thing... I always wanted to just be stable... I was just stable, and wanted the full package, and I think me begining to reach for the full package is really me begining to slip, you know what I mean? Certain things seem to make me so vulnerable. And I knew it as soon as I jumped at it, I just have this gut feeling, this vibe that things aren't right. I'm getting this sense, it's like I'm telling myself that I'm uncomfortable with this, that it's too risky, and what I've got is worth too much loosing in the end. I think that the small amount I gained was just false confidence for comfort, and I'm begining to relize that now. I'm just thinking that mabe it's a good thing, because what If I wasn't feeling this way and ended up going for it, getting fucked over, and then being back at square one all together? Who knows what will happen, I can never tell.
Well, not my old one. Too many people read that who shouldn't.
Anyways, as you can see... Instead of retartedbananas, I am now retartedgrapes.
Good enough. If you were on my friends before, add me again & I will add you back.
I'm considering making this private soon.
On to other things.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
School has been going ok.
Lacrosse has been going ok.
Home has been going ok.
I've been going ok.
There's been a few things on my mind recently, well a lot more then a few. A few things for each of the above subjects. I'm having a bit of trouble catching up in school from the days that I missed.. I'm worried my grades will be permanently affected. Lacrosse has been fun, but it kind of stresses me out sometimes, & it makes me even busier then I was before. And as for home, things are a little rough around the edges as usual, but nothing too horrible I suppose, or atleast nothing that's any one elses business. & me, well, I think that's where the true issues are starting to arise again. I was doing fine for a while, but lately I feel like I've been slipping again. It's really strange, and kind of frightening; I don't want to be the way I was before, you know? And I'm getting that feeling that I've been here before, I've done this before, I've felt this before... And I know what's coming next. I think part of this is my own fault, well, all of this is. I finaly became stable, & I was doing great again. But then It's like, I felt good enough to begin to take a risk, and right now that risk is well... just that... risky. It's like the give an inch & want a mile thing... I always wanted to just be stable... I was just stable, and wanted the full package, and I think me begining to reach for the full package is really me begining to slip, you know what I mean? Certain things seem to make me so vulnerable. And I knew it as soon as I jumped at it, I just have this gut feeling, this vibe that things aren't right. I'm getting this sense, it's like I'm telling myself that I'm uncomfortable with this, that it's too risky, and what I've got is worth too much loosing in the end. I think that the small amount I gained was just false confidence for comfort, and I'm begining to relize that now. I'm just thinking that mabe it's a good thing, because what If I wasn't feeling this way and ended up going for it, getting fucked over, and then being back at square one all together? Who knows what will happen, I can never tell.