so the days seems longer
i dont know if i like myself today. all i know is that i know myself today.
its been quite draining.
<<< insert big emotional outburst here >>>>
did some real stupid stuff this week.
made myself really uncomfortable in my skin
making other people uncomfortable
and housing an insane asylum in my head.
its not pretty stuff.
im not pretty stuff, but onto the current events:
second unsuccessful roll of film for Coral Springs "main street",
its wicked when your high.
im probably a lesbian; oscar makes me scared when hes nice to me.
i feel like people try to baby me: they try to do nice things and it makes me feel like they are giving me this extra protection from the world. im more naive than i ever imagined.
maybe all the shame and guilt my mother installed in me is just morals and a conscience, but then i think "hey i dont like her morals" and i find myself struggling and its bullshit and i dont understand myself. i try saying one thing to her and she thinks im talking about an entirely different concept then i try to continue my conversation and it just does not work out. were on different levels. different mindwaves, or something in technicolor for all i know.
so lots new ideas and no direction or funding or outlet as usual.
life goes on.
album for the past week:Kid Loco - Jesus Life for Children Under 12 Inches
song imparticular: 11- youpi
new artist: loveage
its been quite draining.
<<< insert big emotional outburst here >>>>
did some real stupid stuff this week.
made myself really uncomfortable in my skin
making other people uncomfortable
and housing an insane asylum in my head.
its not pretty stuff.
im not pretty stuff, but onto the current events:
second unsuccessful roll of film for Coral Springs "main street",
its wicked when your high.
im probably a lesbian; oscar makes me scared when hes nice to me.
i feel like people try to baby me: they try to do nice things and it makes me feel like they are giving me this extra protection from the world. im more naive than i ever imagined.
maybe all the shame and guilt my mother installed in me is just morals and a conscience, but then i think "hey i dont like her morals" and i find myself struggling and its bullshit and i dont understand myself. i try saying one thing to her and she thinks im talking about an entirely different concept then i try to continue my conversation and it just does not work out. were on different levels. different mindwaves, or something in technicolor for all i know.
so lots new ideas and no direction or funding or outlet as usual.
life goes on.
album for the past week:Kid Loco - Jesus Life for Children Under 12 Inches
song imparticular: 11- youpi
new artist: loveage