(no subject)
Well......
Where do I start....hmmmmm....
Life has COMPLETELY changed.......
I've got closure with Katie...its definitely over and now I KNOW it for a fact....
I've got a different life to look at and to add to it as I see fit...
I'm starting school in a matter of days...
I got a new parole officer....
Time to do what I always have done since I came home from jail......
I think I've learned a great deal from what happened these last couple days. I know now you can't put what you want or need REALLY close to you or close to anyone else. You can't take much in life for granted nor can you expect life to stay the way you imagined it or they way you wanted it. YOU come first and intuitions/instincts usually lead you to where you should be in life. Learn to rely on those. I think, in some ways, I always knew that...but I needed to trust in myself to believe in them. Morals should be held above everything else no matter what. And they shouldn't bend or be molded for any reason whatsoever. Because, well let's face it, your morals ARE what make you your own man. See, when you read about cliche things like these, you always try to make your own rather than BELIEVING them because someone must have based their lives on it and wrote about it for a reason.
When you come upon things in life that can change it as you know it, try to study it, be aware of the power it holds and respect it.
I realized that my confidence could very well be fucked for a little while, but probably mot much more than it has been in the past. All I have to worry and be aware of is not shutting down or shying away from new experiences. I have to BECOME somebody sooner or later. I can't be this same guy I've been trying to become again, it just won't happen. And I don't think anything can change that. Some poeple can bring you closer to the place you want to be in life but nobody can completely bring you to that special place. Only you yourself can make that dream come true. I think instead of looking for that someone that will bring out the man I've always wanted to be, I shouldn't be LOOKING at all. Wow, where am I going with this?....
In a way I feel like I won't be able to push out of this old life without having to shut down everything that was that life in the first place. But I think in time I'll be able to mold and integrate rather than completely doing a 360. Not everything I did was wrong, I might not have done anything wrong, but I know I've done SOMETHING right to have the little good I have now, so I don't want to risk losing that also.
But, just so you guys all know, I HAVE decided to take some time off from the livejournal and probably the internet too. I'm really sorry, I'll still come on to leave posts in all your lj's but I just wont be posting in mine. I just need some time to build on what I have by myself, when I post next Zi promise I won't be as whiny or crazy...I'll be good ole Joey..:DDD
Have fun poeples.....
As my good gal Larissa always says...
Adios M'Dears!!!!<3<3<3<3<3
Where do I start....hmmmmm....
Life has COMPLETELY changed.......
I've got closure with Katie...its definitely over and now I KNOW it for a fact....
I've got a different life to look at and to add to it as I see fit...
I'm starting school in a matter of days...
I got a new parole officer....
Time to do what I always have done since I came home from jail......
I think I've learned a great deal from what happened these last couple days. I know now you can't put what you want or need REALLY close to you or close to anyone else. You can't take much in life for granted nor can you expect life to stay the way you imagined it or they way you wanted it. YOU come first and intuitions/instincts usually lead you to where you should be in life. Learn to rely on those. I think, in some ways, I always knew that...but I needed to trust in myself to believe in them. Morals should be held above everything else no matter what. And they shouldn't bend or be molded for any reason whatsoever. Because, well let's face it, your morals ARE what make you your own man. See, when you read about cliche things like these, you always try to make your own rather than BELIEVING them because someone must have based their lives on it and wrote about it for a reason.
When you come upon things in life that can change it as you know it, try to study it, be aware of the power it holds and respect it.
I realized that my confidence could very well be fucked for a little while, but probably mot much more than it has been in the past. All I have to worry and be aware of is not shutting down or shying away from new experiences. I have to BECOME somebody sooner or later. I can't be this same guy I've been trying to become again, it just won't happen. And I don't think anything can change that. Some poeple can bring you closer to the place you want to be in life but nobody can completely bring you to that special place. Only you yourself can make that dream come true. I think instead of looking for that someone that will bring out the man I've always wanted to be, I shouldn't be LOOKING at all. Wow, where am I going with this?....
In a way I feel like I won't be able to push out of this old life without having to shut down everything that was that life in the first place. But I think in time I'll be able to mold and integrate rather than completely doing a 360. Not everything I did was wrong, I might not have done anything wrong, but I know I've done SOMETHING right to have the little good I have now, so I don't want to risk losing that also.
But, just so you guys all know, I HAVE decided to take some time off from the livejournal and probably the internet too. I'm really sorry, I'll still come on to leave posts in all your lj's but I just wont be posting in mine. I just need some time to build on what I have by myself, when I post next Zi promise I won't be as whiny or crazy...I'll be good ole Joey..:DDD
Have fun poeples.....
As my good gal Larissa always says...
Adios M'Dears!!!!<3<3<3<3<3