A letter to Dell Tech Support
Dear Dell tech support,
YOU SUCK ASS. I spend weeks on end wishing my computer problems would magicly dissapear so that I don't have to talk to you. I finnally need to call, because your computers suck. So I spend about an hour listening to crappy bluegrass music. Whoever told you that bluegrass music is liked by the general public LIED. Because they don't. All it does is make people very, very angry. Right now, I want you dead. Because I know that after I'm finnally done listening to a live recording of a crappy bluegrass band, of which half is cheering and whistling, I know that my call will be wired to some god forsaken location where everyone speaks in a Indian accent which NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. Then I will spend another hour repeating everything I say at least 6 times because the tech support asistant doesn't speak english. Then they will repeat everything back to me because they can't get out an entire inteligant sentice in english. CHances are, alot of our conversation will consist of us asking each other to repeat themselves. AND in the end, the assistant will finnally manage to explain to me, that no, they can't fix my computer. And I should probobly take it in because it seems like it's broken. In the meintime, a freindly computerized voice has told me SIX FUCKING TIMES that a tech support assistant will be with me shortly and that this will be the last recording I will hear, when in fact It is no where near the last recording I will hear, and while I am waiting as you say, "patiently", you force me to listen to the same bluegrass CD again. I have been waiting for about 30 minutes now, and let me tell you I am most definitly not patient. In fact, if i could, I would jump through the phone lines with a AK47, and I don't even know what an AK47 is, and put a bullet through your damn blue grass CD, and quite possible the computer that keeps forcing me to enter random codes and 5 million digit numbers from every possible surface on my computer. I hate you.
love,
Jeneve
YOU SUCK ASS. I spend weeks on end wishing my computer problems would magicly dissapear so that I don't have to talk to you. I finnally need to call, because your computers suck. So I spend about an hour listening to crappy bluegrass music. Whoever told you that bluegrass music is liked by the general public LIED. Because they don't. All it does is make people very, very angry. Right now, I want you dead. Because I know that after I'm finnally done listening to a live recording of a crappy bluegrass band, of which half is cheering and whistling, I know that my call will be wired to some god forsaken location where everyone speaks in a Indian accent which NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. Then I will spend another hour repeating everything I say at least 6 times because the tech support asistant doesn't speak english. Then they will repeat everything back to me because they can't get out an entire inteligant sentice in english. CHances are, alot of our conversation will consist of us asking each other to repeat themselves. AND in the end, the assistant will finnally manage to explain to me, that no, they can't fix my computer. And I should probobly take it in because it seems like it's broken. In the meintime, a freindly computerized voice has told me SIX FUCKING TIMES that a tech support assistant will be with me shortly and that this will be the last recording I will hear, when in fact It is no where near the last recording I will hear, and while I am waiting as you say, "patiently", you force me to listen to the same bluegrass CD again. I have been waiting for about 30 minutes now, and let me tell you I am most definitly not patient. In fact, if i could, I would jump through the phone lines with a AK47, and I don't even know what an AK47 is, and put a bullet through your damn blue grass CD, and quite possible the computer that keeps forcing me to enter random codes and 5 million digit numbers from every possible surface on my computer. I hate you.
love,
Jeneve