"you or someone like you"
Tina M. A. C as in Cat Z as in Zoo I. S.
Is tall, not tall tall but tall for a girl tall, as in, taller than an
average-height human-male (like myself) by an inch or so
Speaks softly but often interrupts.
Tries to guess what I'm going to say before I'm done saying it.
Has a funny jaw, if you look at her when she talks you can see it sway
back and forth
In the Winter, her coats make her look like Oliver Twist or the
sleepwalker on Sigur Ros albums.
The way she shoves her hands in her jacket pockets give her shoulders
a rise like they are aching to touch her ears. In the back of my mind,
there is a vision of Dylan in the mid-60's, at his lankiest and most
tweaked, standing quiet and tall but unmistakably sturdy.
She is one of the only people in the whole world whose intentions for
good deeds I do not question.
To most, she inhabits a form of uncanny poise and undeniable grace.
No matter how awkward or uncomfortable she may truly feel, she doesn't
let on, like a pillar who could hold up any temple long after the rest
have fallen down. When she actually sets to work on a course of action
she has intent focus that compels confidence from everybody.
She has these mysterious pink-ribbon scars on her waste.
She has this steady stoner affect to her tone when she speaks, like
she's invariably laying a profound revelation upon you. From most
people, I would write it off immediately as too chilled out and
earthy; foolish and naive, but from her it's not so much a hippie
granola idiosyncrasy, but indicative of someone who is carefully
mulling over what exactly she is saying, considering every word.
Again, a mid-60's Dylan comes to mind, not at all as condescending and
cleverly tricky and elusive, but she exudes a similar sense of careful
phrasing.
Being around her, just even for a little bit, you really get the sense
that if you ever really NEED her for something, she'll be there,
whether you ask or not. In the truest sense a good friend, in the way
most people would do tiny nothings for you to show they're your
friends but run off once shit gets tough, she is the opposite.
She is strong, tough for sure, if not for inner strength in it of
itself but for every reason she thinks she isn't tough, because no
matter how much shit she's in and how much it hurts, she looks just as
strong as ever. It gives you the impression she doesn't need help, and
not in a proud sense, but in this way of, I 'don't know, quite simply,
"Tina is a rock", no matter how weak she may feel, or unable to stand
by herself, she makes everybody feel like she is made of the sturdiest
stuff and built by brilliant architects.
She's sensitive and fragile, not like the sturdy thing she convinces
people she is, but her real strength, the core of her toughness is her
inner fragility, if she were who she makes people think she is, she
wouldn't be human. But she is profoundly human, flawed and weak. She
is strong enough to speak with an air of wisdom whether it's real or
not, to stand so sturdily that people are drawn to her. I've seen her
when she's a complete and utter mess, but she still has the will not
to look like she's falling apart… it's a painful way to be, to look
like a rock in spite of your weakness, in some ways it's even cowardly
to be that way, to not let on, confusing in a way that she can tell
you she was crying her eyes out and having a nervous breakdown on a
train, and do it with a complete strength that makes you think "Tina
is doing just fine" even though she isn't, it's a fucking awkward
toughness, but it's beautiful in a way I can't describe. This
undeniable human feat of will.
Sometimes I wonder how creatures that are so fragile, stupid and weak,
beasts programmed to fight for food and shelter like rats, beasts sure
to die, how can they lift themselves out of their natural state of
petty, selfish ignorance, and build an arch that covers a canyon and
stands above the earth and in front of the stars and yells to the
great big apathetic universe "fuck you! I don't need you, I can do
anything!", there's something about you, Tina, that reminds me of that
bridge. I look at it and I wonder who made it, the architect could
have been a wife-beating depressive with a drinking problem, the
construction crew could have been fumbling idiots with union mob ties
who work about 5 minutes in an hour, the earth there could have been
impossible to move, the rocks might have come from a quarry anywhere
in the world, the bridge could have shotty construction and structural
integrity flaws, maybe nobody even fucking uses it, it was a big waste
of time and money… but it's there, looking fucking strong and
beautiful to everybody that couldn't know better.
-Hyden
Is tall, not tall tall but tall for a girl tall, as in, taller than an
average-height human-male (like myself) by an inch or so
Speaks softly but often interrupts.
Tries to guess what I'm going to say before I'm done saying it.
Has a funny jaw, if you look at her when she talks you can see it sway
back and forth
In the Winter, her coats make her look like Oliver Twist or the
sleepwalker on Sigur Ros albums.
The way she shoves her hands in her jacket pockets give her shoulders
a rise like they are aching to touch her ears. In the back of my mind,
there is a vision of Dylan in the mid-60's, at his lankiest and most
tweaked, standing quiet and tall but unmistakably sturdy.
She is one of the only people in the whole world whose intentions for
good deeds I do not question.
To most, she inhabits a form of uncanny poise and undeniable grace.
No matter how awkward or uncomfortable she may truly feel, she doesn't
let on, like a pillar who could hold up any temple long after the rest
have fallen down. When she actually sets to work on a course of action
she has intent focus that compels confidence from everybody.
She has these mysterious pink-ribbon scars on her waste.
She has this steady stoner affect to her tone when she speaks, like
she's invariably laying a profound revelation upon you. From most
people, I would write it off immediately as too chilled out and
earthy; foolish and naive, but from her it's not so much a hippie
granola idiosyncrasy, but indicative of someone who is carefully
mulling over what exactly she is saying, considering every word.
Again, a mid-60's Dylan comes to mind, not at all as condescending and
cleverly tricky and elusive, but she exudes a similar sense of careful
phrasing.
Being around her, just even for a little bit, you really get the sense
that if you ever really NEED her for something, she'll be there,
whether you ask or not. In the truest sense a good friend, in the way
most people would do tiny nothings for you to show they're your
friends but run off once shit gets tough, she is the opposite.
She is strong, tough for sure, if not for inner strength in it of
itself but for every reason she thinks she isn't tough, because no
matter how much shit she's in and how much it hurts, she looks just as
strong as ever. It gives you the impression she doesn't need help, and
not in a proud sense, but in this way of, I 'don't know, quite simply,
"Tina is a rock", no matter how weak she may feel, or unable to stand
by herself, she makes everybody feel like she is made of the sturdiest
stuff and built by brilliant architects.
She's sensitive and fragile, not like the sturdy thing she convinces
people she is, but her real strength, the core of her toughness is her
inner fragility, if she were who she makes people think she is, she
wouldn't be human. But she is profoundly human, flawed and weak. She
is strong enough to speak with an air of wisdom whether it's real or
not, to stand so sturdily that people are drawn to her. I've seen her
when she's a complete and utter mess, but she still has the will not
to look like she's falling apart… it's a painful way to be, to look
like a rock in spite of your weakness, in some ways it's even cowardly
to be that way, to not let on, confusing in a way that she can tell
you she was crying her eyes out and having a nervous breakdown on a
train, and do it with a complete strength that makes you think "Tina
is doing just fine" even though she isn't, it's a fucking awkward
toughness, but it's beautiful in a way I can't describe. This
undeniable human feat of will.
Sometimes I wonder how creatures that are so fragile, stupid and weak,
beasts programmed to fight for food and shelter like rats, beasts sure
to die, how can they lift themselves out of their natural state of
petty, selfish ignorance, and build an arch that covers a canyon and
stands above the earth and in front of the stars and yells to the
great big apathetic universe "fuck you! I don't need you, I can do
anything!", there's something about you, Tina, that reminds me of that
bridge. I look at it and I wonder who made it, the architect could
have been a wife-beating depressive with a drinking problem, the
construction crew could have been fumbling idiots with union mob ties
who work about 5 minutes in an hour, the earth there could have been
impossible to move, the rocks might have come from a quarry anywhere
in the world, the bridge could have shotty construction and structural
integrity flaws, maybe nobody even fucking uses it, it was a big waste
of time and money… but it's there, looking fucking strong and
beautiful to everybody that couldn't know better.
-Hyden