(no subject)
There's a woman who works in the commuter cafe on south campus who always makes me smile. I can be in the worst mood, feeling like i've got the heaviest weights on my shoulders, and for those 30 seconds in which i interact with her all is forgotten. I walk in with an ever-growing voluminous gray cloud hovering above me, metallic sound of thunder just about to break (the kind that leaves you feeling like you've bitten down on tinfoil) ringing in my head. She grins at me saying, "Now let me guess..." knowing I'm a monogamist, and my personal weather system shrinks rapidly into utter nonexistence. She snaps me out of my isolated state and reminds me that the simplest of human connections are valuable.
I was thinking today, that I might have been that kind of person at one time. In high school people always used to tell me I walked with a certain spring in my step, or looked at the world with a renewed freshness, or had a bubbly personality. It's funny, I experienced and fought my way out of some serious depression in high school. But i try to smile at people when i walk by them, or at least the feeble excuse for smiling that my Introvert will let me muster, or if given an in by someone else i'll try and connect even if it's just small talk.
Lately i feel like i'm losing that and it scares me. I've become a grump and more often than not i'm alienating myself from everyone. I just don't feel like i'm all that centered right now, but i'm really trying to figure out what's going on, and how to get back from this state of static. So, if i've been a jerk to you or around you or near you then i'm sorry. If i've brought you down in any way, i'm sorry. If i haven't been there for you, i'm sorry. It's not that i'm not thinking of you, i'm just a bit stuck.
I hope you all know i'm grateful for you and our connections, however great or few they might be.
Thanks, I'll be back soon.
-Brie
p.s. just to note: don't knock on my door at 2 am if you're gonna be an asshole. Thanks!
I was thinking today, that I might have been that kind of person at one time. In high school people always used to tell me I walked with a certain spring in my step, or looked at the world with a renewed freshness, or had a bubbly personality. It's funny, I experienced and fought my way out of some serious depression in high school. But i try to smile at people when i walk by them, or at least the feeble excuse for smiling that my Introvert will let me muster, or if given an in by someone else i'll try and connect even if it's just small talk.
Lately i feel like i'm losing that and it scares me. I've become a grump and more often than not i'm alienating myself from everyone. I just don't feel like i'm all that centered right now, but i'm really trying to figure out what's going on, and how to get back from this state of static. So, if i've been a jerk to you or around you or near you then i'm sorry. If i've brought you down in any way, i'm sorry. If i haven't been there for you, i'm sorry. It's not that i'm not thinking of you, i'm just a bit stuck.
I hope you all know i'm grateful for you and our connections, however great or few they might be.
Thanks, I'll be back soon.
-Brie
p.s. just to note: don't knock on my door at 2 am if you're gonna be an asshole. Thanks!