i can tell i'm getting better!

[restrainedchaos]

wanna know how?

1) i can look at my squishy tummy in the mirror and think, 'eh, whatever, it's not that bad.' and poke it, and laugh when it sloshes a bit.

2) i'm not panicking about not having my hair braided right away. i let ramil play with my hair. i can look myself in the face in the mirror and not think that i'm the ugliest creature alive, and want to cry. what's more, i could actually see that i'm pretty, with my hair splayed out like Bozo's worst nightmare.

3) hell, i'm just freaking out less.

4) i want to be nice. even to obnoxious people. but then, only to annoy them.

5) i just feel it, dammit! everything sucks less than it did before.

i wonder if i'm one of those people who gets that seasonal depression, because now that the sun comes out more, and stays out longer, i seem better. and i got worse during winter.

however, i am too damn tired recently. maybe i'm just staying up too late, but it's really easy to take a mid-morning or afternoon nap.

i have to go potty, and then to class.

improvingly yours,
mel