WHY can't i have my own damned life?!
for the love of Pete! why is it that even though i'm 18, and my mother wants me to be able to do stuff on my own, that i still can't make plans for my own damned weekend?!?!?! i was like(in my head) chill after school today, work on physics @ my stepmother's empty house saturday, go to library on sunday to work on govt w/ my partner, chill on monday, or maybe go to the movies - if mommy will *let* me, of course...
BUT NOOOOO - "we're going to your grandmother's house, because your aunt and cousin are going to be there" ok, i like that grandmother, and my aunt, and my few-months-old baby cousin, but DAMMIT! I want a fucking life!!!
let me take a moment: *big fucking shrieking temper tantrum* i'm just pissed i can't actually have a temper tantrum, becuase my pain-in-the-ass sister is here becuase she oh so sick and couldn't go to school - boo fucking hoo, i've gone to school when i couldn't fucking talk or breathe properly, and i walked to the damn hellhole too!
*trying to take nice, soothing breaths* i totally killed a bagel after i got off the phone with my mom - apparently, i can't make up my mind whether to not eat when i'm mad, or to eat ravenously when i'm mad. of course, i am developing a slight bagel obsession just now, so...
*more stomping and screaming*
*and more*
*more? no, done*
i need to go read fanfiction, or stupid news stories, or something, and marissa(that's my thirteen year old resident ass pain) had better leave me the fuck alone, or she'll be worse than just sick.
BUT NOOOOO - "we're going to your grandmother's house, because your aunt and cousin are going to be there" ok, i like that grandmother, and my aunt, and my few-months-old baby cousin, but DAMMIT! I want a fucking life!!!
let me take a moment: *big fucking shrieking temper tantrum* i'm just pissed i can't actually have a temper tantrum, becuase my pain-in-the-ass sister is here becuase she oh so sick and couldn't go to school - boo fucking hoo, i've gone to school when i couldn't fucking talk or breathe properly, and i walked to the damn hellhole too!
*trying to take nice, soothing breaths* i totally killed a bagel after i got off the phone with my mom - apparently, i can't make up my mind whether to not eat when i'm mad, or to eat ravenously when i'm mad. of course, i am developing a slight bagel obsession just now, so...
*more stomping and screaming*
*and more*
*more? no, done*
i need to go read fanfiction, or stupid news stories, or something, and marissa(that's my thirteen year old resident ass pain) had better leave me the fuck alone, or she'll be worse than just sick.