dreams

[restrained]

I dreamed I was trying to leave work but my boss wanted me to stay late, and she knew I had a hair appointment I was trying to make it to. I dreamed I had too many bags and couldn't get them all in my car. I dreamed my car had a tire blow out on 56th street and I was trying to push my car off the road but there was no shoulder and I was going to be hit by traffic. I woke up but couldn't open my eyes or move, and I could hardly breathe. I struggled and struggled and finally got one eye open. I tried to move my hand but it wouldn't obey, and I could feel that I only had a tiny part of one nostril that the pillow wasn't clogging. I couldn't move at all and I still couldn't breathe. I fought and fought because it was taking everything I had to stay conscious and try to move instead of falling back asleep. I finally flopped onto my back somehow and lay there gasping for air. geez I hate it when that happens. I think this is what they meant when I read an article on risk that said every year people accidentally suffocate in their own beds. I dreamed I stole some woman's miniature cakes off a table she was setting out for a display, but I didn't mean to steal them, I thought they had been set out there for me to take. when I realized they hadn't, and she was pissed, I pretended I didn't know who did it, because she was a friend of my mom's. then for some reason I started beating up my mom, and this woman was going to start hitting me, too, and I looked around for josh to help me, but he was nowhere to be found, because he was mad at me for something, and I could see this woman about to hit me, and then she didn't, and I turned back around, and jeromy was beating the shit out of her while I was beating up my mom. we finally stopped tearing them up, and it would have been forgive and forget, except that since jeromy was a man, they were going to call the police and press charges only on him, so I was trying to convince them they didn't have to. then this girl I was supposed to be sitting for heard me call this other kid nasty, and she was being all loud about it, and so I had to distract her by showing her some pictures her mom took to make her forget about trying to get me in trouble.

naptime today has me more worn out than I was when I laid down, I think. hmph.