(no subject)
She said "I am your addiction", and I said "I'd love to be your addiction from here..." - Cary Judd
Two and a half years. That's how long this intricate mambo between Eric and I has been going on. Two and a half years. And the whole time, we've never stopped caring about each other. All through Pennsylvania, and the drugs, and through Virginia, and other loves, and different jobs...we've been through everything together. And now, here I am, one month away from nursing school in Arizona, and I'm secretly hoping I don't get in so that I can come back. Doh! I wonder if anything has changed. It was the religion thing originally.
"You know that if you were a Witness, or if I was Mormon, we'd be married by now."
Yeah...that was a year ago. And here we still are. We walked around Temple Square holding hands in the rain the other day. He told me that he didn't want me to leave, that he missed me while I was in Virginia. He told me that he was going to tell Adrienne to just move on because the chances of him being refellowshiped were slim, which he's ok with. He always calls when he says he will. He makes plans for us to go out and be together. Tomorrow we're hanging out, and on Monday we are going to Park City to go mountain biking. He always makes me laugh. He tells me that my opinion about him is the only one that matters. He says "I love you." He's totally into me, dang it!!! Sure I'm scared a bit, but Arizona is a nice out of both of us. It takes a lot of the pressure off the whole "getting back into this" situation.
"It occured to me yesterday, that if I don't actually get admitted into nursing school, I'll be back up here."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not admitted yet, that's why I'm going down next month - to apply. I'll know for sure in November or December. If I don't get in, I think I'm coming back."
(Pauses) "Darn. I'll be stuck with you forever."
I know I've worked too hard this last year to not apply, to not try, and I know that if I get in, that I will stay.
It's just that I love being with him. I love all the corny things - the way he talks, his eyes, the way he looks at me, how he makes me laugh. I love that he knows basic auto repair and how to tile a floor and rewire a chandelier, and all that other blue collar stuff. Other than religion, we have everything in common. I just love to see him, even if drive 30 minutes to go surprise him with ice cream and only see him for 15 minutes before he has to leave. It's still so worth it. Carol tells me to be careful, to not fall too hard, but I can't help it. I think even if it hurts in the end, right now, it's totally worth it. I'd rather be with him a month and have to leave than never be with him at all. He's oh-so-definitly worth the risk.
Two and a half years. That's how long this intricate mambo between Eric and I has been going on. Two and a half years. And the whole time, we've never stopped caring about each other. All through Pennsylvania, and the drugs, and through Virginia, and other loves, and different jobs...we've been through everything together. And now, here I am, one month away from nursing school in Arizona, and I'm secretly hoping I don't get in so that I can come back. Doh! I wonder if anything has changed. It was the religion thing originally.
"You know that if you were a Witness, or if I was Mormon, we'd be married by now."
Yeah...that was a year ago. And here we still are. We walked around Temple Square holding hands in the rain the other day. He told me that he didn't want me to leave, that he missed me while I was in Virginia. He told me that he was going to tell Adrienne to just move on because the chances of him being refellowshiped were slim, which he's ok with. He always calls when he says he will. He makes plans for us to go out and be together. Tomorrow we're hanging out, and on Monday we are going to Park City to go mountain biking. He always makes me laugh. He tells me that my opinion about him is the only one that matters. He says "I love you." He's totally into me, dang it!!! Sure I'm scared a bit, but Arizona is a nice out of both of us. It takes a lot of the pressure off the whole "getting back into this" situation.
"It occured to me yesterday, that if I don't actually get admitted into nursing school, I'll be back up here."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not admitted yet, that's why I'm going down next month - to apply. I'll know for sure in November or December. If I don't get in, I think I'm coming back."
(Pauses) "Darn. I'll be stuck with you forever."
I know I've worked too hard this last year to not apply, to not try, and I know that if I get in, that I will stay.
It's just that I love being with him. I love all the corny things - the way he talks, his eyes, the way he looks at me, how he makes me laugh. I love that he knows basic auto repair and how to tile a floor and rewire a chandelier, and all that other blue collar stuff. Other than religion, we have everything in common. I just love to see him, even if drive 30 minutes to go surprise him with ice cream and only see him for 15 minutes before he has to leave. It's still so worth it. Carol tells me to be careful, to not fall too hard, but I can't help it. I think even if it hurts in the end, right now, it's totally worth it. I'd rather be with him a month and have to leave than never be with him at all. He's oh-so-definitly worth the risk.