be my illusion, i'll be your distraction
Today was the day from hell for me. For reasons I won't get into work sucked really bad. Well, worse than normal. I spent nearly 12 hours there, and by the end of it, I was ready to shoot someone. I was just so annoyed, and frustrated, and sick of it. I get so frustrated thinking that working at this place is going to get me to where I need to be. That is my sole purpose in being there, and yet I am reaping no rewards from the rather intensive labor. Finally, I just got sick of it and brokedown. I was sitting in my car sobbing, listening to the one song that has inspired me to keep going even when I feel this way, and in my moment of weakness, I called someone that I vowed I would never call again. I thought that I hated him, I thought that he was out of my life for good. But I also knew that he understands me better than anyone else on earth, and so it was he that I turned to both first and as a last resort tonight. Talking to him, he made me smile the way he always used to. I found myself so captivated by him that I completly forgot all of my sorrows. I found myself not hating him like I was so sure I did. Instead, I felt gratitude at having him there - at knowing that I didn't have to explain myself, my situation, my logic, my emotion - that he already knew. He still knows me so well, reads my mind like a book. He was always really good at that. Brilliant, really. Talking to him tonight, I thought suddenly of a memory that I had almost forgotten: Walking around at night, in one of the most beautiful places...while holding my hand he confessed to me his weaknesses, and pledged to be better, if not only for his sake, then for mine. Remembering that tonight was a surprise to me. The memory had come out of nowhere. More surprising was my reaction to it: I hung up crying even harder than before. At least work was off my mind.
And that's why I'm wondering why
You had to tell me
What's goin' on in your head
What's wrong
Come around to another time
when you
Don't have to run
And when she says she wants
somebody else
I hope you know
that she doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down and
makes a sound
You'll never hear her
the way that I do
And when she said she wants
someone to love
I hope you know
she doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down
and lets you down
I hope you know
that she doesn't mean to
Yeah and I don't know where
Come and find me
I don't know what
We're coming to and
And I don't know what
It means to me
And you don't know
What it means to you
We're over now
- "she says" - howie day
And that's why I'm wondering why
You had to tell me
What's goin' on in your head
What's wrong
Come around to another time
when you
Don't have to run
And when she says she wants
somebody else
I hope you know
that she doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down and
makes a sound
You'll never hear her
the way that I do
And when she said she wants
someone to love
I hope you know
she doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down
and lets you down
I hope you know
that she doesn't mean to
Yeah and I don't know where
Come and find me
I don't know what
We're coming to and
And I don't know what
It means to me
And you don't know
What it means to you
We're over now
- "she says" - howie day