Silence broken with words unspoken
Life...
Its been a rough lately, but things are gettin by. If you've seen me in the past month, you would figure nothing is wrong, but there is absolutley a lot wrong. In the past, I was one to show my emotions, right now, i keep it down, becuase i relaized there is noone that can help me right now. I feel like Im just trying to make people feel bad for me, but seriously, Im just gonna rant. I figured if everyone else can do it in their internet journals, so can i. I have no flashy lyrics to post, I have no people to point a finger at, I dont even have an answer for myself. All i know is that i am not nearly as content with my life as I should be. Lets start with some good things.
I have been going to concerts like crazy. Plus 44, Angels and Airwaves, Silverstein, Senses Fail, Bayside, Basyside, The SLeeping, and probably more in the past few weeks. That is my life. You faggots that say "Why do you go to so many", "Its not even fun to see em that much", "Why do you waste your money on that" and other crap like that can blow me. That would be like me saying, why do you hang out with your best friend. Its becuase I feel good, my mind is clear, and I would want to be doing nothing else at the time. I have come to realize that sports are no longer my life anymore. It is definetly music, and that makes me the happiest.
I think I am doing better in school as well. I am taking 6 classes, and i really need to get my act together. I am in a communication class at 11, i project a B. I have a Math clas at 12:30, I project a B/C+. I have a Computer Science class at 2:00, my grade is riding on Derek for this one. all i need to do is build a website, and Derek said he would help me with that. I have faith in him and project an A :). I have another communication class at 3:30, and since this professor is the biggest douchbag in the world, I will be the luckiest person ever just to pass. I have a Biology class at 5:20, and i project a B. And I have a Lab experiment class on thursday nights and project a B in this class also. I have never felt so confident in myself heading into finals week before, so i am actually excited to see what i get. I have turned in my papers, declaring myself for a major in Communication, and a Minor in Marketing. Those of you who actually know my lifetime goal, well, i am still striving for that, and Im pretty proud of myself.
Work has been very fluid. I do the same 'ol every week and make my 280 or whatever. Recently, there was an opening for a full-time position at my store, and the only people qualified for it were the 3-toothed, crack addicted, brown-nosing, little fag Jacob, and myself. With some help from Pat, i took a page outta Jacobs book, and i brown-nosed a application sayin what i can do for the company in the future and i think it kinda went like "I feel that I can take the meat department up to the next level, and upon completion of college next summer, I see myself with a career at Price Rite..." HAHAHAHA. a career at price rite... thats pretty funny eh? But if those little lies are what its going to take to make 15 dollars an hour, for exactly the same thing i do every day now, with benefits, authorities over people, and a key to everything in the store :P Pray for me people. I might find out sometime before April.
Hanging out with friends has been... good. No complaints.
...
There are a few things that have been on the mind,
1) I hate drama...
2) I dont know how soon it will ever be before I can do a full out relationship with someone. I feel that I just will never make that other person happy. I feel like I just want to be a kid again and run around with friends and worry about mothing, and if i do that, I can never give that special someone everything they would want.
3) I miss Thona. I barely see her at work, i see her late on thursday nights, and i havent even been to her place that much. Things will change, we've had good times, we will continue on, and she IS one of my best friends.
4) I miss playing soccer. Im pretty sure I dream once a week about my tech days. Win or lose, it was the most fun thing in the world. It felt amazing to be out there, in the middle of the defense, as the captain of a squad of 15 other guys, and to be looked up to by underclassman. Im not lying when I say i dream once a week about it. Ill be dreaming about just runin around and knockin people around, and just living my younger days. Then i wake up and i seriously have a slight tear, just thinking about how thats all over. I usually lay in my bed dying to try and fall back asleep, and continue the game, but it never happens, and my day is off to a not so pleasing start.
5) Where is all my money going?
6) Dave Pergola has been on my mind alot also. I miss me, him and Joey P not givin a shit about anyone else night after night, and just having a great time. I still can see us that christmas morning 3 years ago. Sittin at twin co. at 4am and G askin us why the fuck we werent home on chirstmas. Were gonna go the gym soon enough man, oh we will haha.
Thats kinda it for now. I cant wait for the new Bayside cd to come out on February 6. I cant wait to see Senses Fail, and the sleeping at the webster on January 10, and I cant wait to see the new re-model of price rite early next year, i think itll be cool.
Peace.
Its been a rough lately, but things are gettin by. If you've seen me in the past month, you would figure nothing is wrong, but there is absolutley a lot wrong. In the past, I was one to show my emotions, right now, i keep it down, becuase i relaized there is noone that can help me right now. I feel like Im just trying to make people feel bad for me, but seriously, Im just gonna rant. I figured if everyone else can do it in their internet journals, so can i. I have no flashy lyrics to post, I have no people to point a finger at, I dont even have an answer for myself. All i know is that i am not nearly as content with my life as I should be. Lets start with some good things.
I have been going to concerts like crazy. Plus 44, Angels and Airwaves, Silverstein, Senses Fail, Bayside, Basyside, The SLeeping, and probably more in the past few weeks. That is my life. You faggots that say "Why do you go to so many", "Its not even fun to see em that much", "Why do you waste your money on that" and other crap like that can blow me. That would be like me saying, why do you hang out with your best friend. Its becuase I feel good, my mind is clear, and I would want to be doing nothing else at the time. I have come to realize that sports are no longer my life anymore. It is definetly music, and that makes me the happiest.
I think I am doing better in school as well. I am taking 6 classes, and i really need to get my act together. I am in a communication class at 11, i project a B. I have a Math clas at 12:30, I project a B/C+. I have a Computer Science class at 2:00, my grade is riding on Derek for this one. all i need to do is build a website, and Derek said he would help me with that. I have faith in him and project an A :). I have another communication class at 3:30, and since this professor is the biggest douchbag in the world, I will be the luckiest person ever just to pass. I have a Biology class at 5:20, and i project a B. And I have a Lab experiment class on thursday nights and project a B in this class also. I have never felt so confident in myself heading into finals week before, so i am actually excited to see what i get. I have turned in my papers, declaring myself for a major in Communication, and a Minor in Marketing. Those of you who actually know my lifetime goal, well, i am still striving for that, and Im pretty proud of myself.
Work has been very fluid. I do the same 'ol every week and make my 280 or whatever. Recently, there was an opening for a full-time position at my store, and the only people qualified for it were the 3-toothed, crack addicted, brown-nosing, little fag Jacob, and myself. With some help from Pat, i took a page outta Jacobs book, and i brown-nosed a application sayin what i can do for the company in the future and i think it kinda went like "I feel that I can take the meat department up to the next level, and upon completion of college next summer, I see myself with a career at Price Rite..." HAHAHAHA. a career at price rite... thats pretty funny eh? But if those little lies are what its going to take to make 15 dollars an hour, for exactly the same thing i do every day now, with benefits, authorities over people, and a key to everything in the store :P Pray for me people. I might find out sometime before April.
Hanging out with friends has been... good. No complaints.
...
There are a few things that have been on the mind,
1) I hate drama...
2) I dont know how soon it will ever be before I can do a full out relationship with someone. I feel that I just will never make that other person happy. I feel like I just want to be a kid again and run around with friends and worry about mothing, and if i do that, I can never give that special someone everything they would want.
3) I miss Thona. I barely see her at work, i see her late on thursday nights, and i havent even been to her place that much. Things will change, we've had good times, we will continue on, and she IS one of my best friends.
4) I miss playing soccer. Im pretty sure I dream once a week about my tech days. Win or lose, it was the most fun thing in the world. It felt amazing to be out there, in the middle of the defense, as the captain of a squad of 15 other guys, and to be looked up to by underclassman. Im not lying when I say i dream once a week about it. Ill be dreaming about just runin around and knockin people around, and just living my younger days. Then i wake up and i seriously have a slight tear, just thinking about how thats all over. I usually lay in my bed dying to try and fall back asleep, and continue the game, but it never happens, and my day is off to a not so pleasing start.
5) Where is all my money going?
6) Dave Pergola has been on my mind alot also. I miss me, him and Joey P not givin a shit about anyone else night after night, and just having a great time. I still can see us that christmas morning 3 years ago. Sittin at twin co. at 4am and G askin us why the fuck we werent home on chirstmas. Were gonna go the gym soon enough man, oh we will haha.
Thats kinda it for now. I cant wait for the new Bayside cd to come out on February 6. I cant wait to see Senses Fail, and the sleeping at the webster on January 10, and I cant wait to see the new re-model of price rite early next year, i think itll be cool.
Peace.