Aug 12, 2008 15:09
So. I haven't really played guitar since i split from the band. I just don't really see the point in it. Came extremely close to selling it but i couldn't do it. Not to mention Missy (my fiance) has near begged me to keep playing. I just feel cursed around that thing. Every time i pick it up it seems like something bad happens. And after hearing news about dave i just...i dunno. Something in me just cracked. I can barely even look at my guitar now unless i've been drinking (which i've done maybe 3 times since i moved). It just....it feels wrong. To play. I don't know why. It just does. Then i started to think back to my old group of friends and the band i had. And i fucking miss it. To the point of it keeping me up at night. I mean people who know me know i can't sleep worth shit. But it somehow got worse over all this.
And i don't know what to do about it. I called dan a few times which was cool. I recently im'd ben (he was away) and left a message on his LJ. So we'll see how that goes. I'm not sure if there's still bad blood between us. Seemed like there was the last time i saw him. But i never know with him. It'd just be nice to have them back i guess. I miss hanging out with them. I miss jumbo at 2 in the morning. I don't miss the physical and emotional abuse from my family. But that's about the only pro in this situation.
Blah. I don't know what's going on.
Halp?