9 (That Girl's Got Woe)
Sometimes I wish
I was easier to divide
Like a perfect square by its own root
I wish I could compartmentalize myself
And pick myself apart
Like a remote control or a blender
And put myself back together
Once I’ve solved the mysteries
Of my existence.
I wish I could peel back my skin
Like an apple or an orange
And find my core,
The seeds of who I am.
Because even though I am the product,
The subject of my own study,
Even though I’m conducting my own dissection,
My own autopsy,
I’m nothing but an innocent bystander
Looking for answers in a stranger’s body.
I wish I could deconstruct myself
Like an alarm clock
And see just what makes me tick.
But I’m not meant to be taken apart, am I?
Not meant to be looked at piece by piece
Because I am a whole, aren’t I?
My parts depend upon each other.
One is nothing without the other.
I am not me if my parts do not run together.
Like y=x,
They depend directly upon each other.
But without separating them I can learn nothing.
Without separating them I can not discover their functions
And why they do the things they do.
How can I identify the whole,
If I can’t even identify the parts?
Perhaps I’m not meant to be figured out
Perhaps there are no answers to my infinite equation
Because like water, I am a whole
Though with no answers, I am
A Hole.
XoxO
Maggie Monster
DEDICATED TO DESIREE NIRVANA.
I was easier to divide
Like a perfect square by its own root
I wish I could compartmentalize myself
And pick myself apart
Like a remote control or a blender
And put myself back together
Once I’ve solved the mysteries
Of my existence.
I wish I could peel back my skin
Like an apple or an orange
And find my core,
The seeds of who I am.
Because even though I am the product,
The subject of my own study,
Even though I’m conducting my own dissection,
My own autopsy,
I’m nothing but an innocent bystander
Looking for answers in a stranger’s body.
I wish I could deconstruct myself
Like an alarm clock
And see just what makes me tick.
But I’m not meant to be taken apart, am I?
Not meant to be looked at piece by piece
Because I am a whole, aren’t I?
My parts depend upon each other.
One is nothing without the other.
I am not me if my parts do not run together.
Like y=x,
They depend directly upon each other.
But without separating them I can learn nothing.
Without separating them I can not discover their functions
And why they do the things they do.
How can I identify the whole,
If I can’t even identify the parts?
Perhaps I’m not meant to be figured out
Perhaps there are no answers to my infinite equation
Because like water, I am a whole
Though with no answers, I am
A Hole.
XoxO
Maggie Monster
DEDICATED TO DESIREE NIRVANA.