god loves ugly.

[respirez_pas]

it seriously comical how many people think i have it easy.
sometimes i'm in so much stress that i wont even notice it
until i pull back and say
whoa, when did everything happen in such a rush
or better yet
when did i start rushing to do everything?

its amazing how fast the last week of school
will creep up on you
yes; i'm happy that i will have 2 1/2 months of relaxation
no; i'm stressed out about my gpa and SATs and everything school related
oh, and to top off that wonderful sundae of excellence,
I NEED A JOB.

yes. please. hire me. i am a good worker and i will do anything.
[no sexual favors or anything that puts me in a compromising position]

my mom is having major financial issues
and is thinking about moving to Washington [state. not DC]
if that were to happen, which is unlikely,
she would take my sister and leave me here in California
to finish college and be completely ON MY OWN [except she'll probably help with rent]

i keep thinking about everything
confusing myself
repeating myself
shitting myself.

wwwwhhhhyyyyyy do i do this to myself?