I need to get this off my chest
Any of you that have known me for any length of time will have noticed that I have been more distant as of lately. There are a lot of things that have happened over the past few months that I have not told anyone (for the most part are not little things either) but I think I may post some of them on here just to get them off my chest. Im not saying that I will be more open with anyone but I need to get some of this off my chest before I go off the deep end. I’ve been to hell and back these past few months.
Well this is something I have not told anyone. The only person that knows the events of this night are Kele’. I know some of you will just think im stupid but oh well. A few months ago after Eric and I had broken up Kele’ spent the night. We both got drunk. Ya know just to have a good time not cause I was depressed or anything. So we were having fun and then Eric’s friend Chris B. calls us and we are all talking and shit and he is even drunk. Well Eric finds out im drunk the online bitches at me and tells me how pissed he was cause he had made me promise I would not get drunk (only reason for that was he did not want me to be depressed and drunk at the same time but I was having a good time. To top it off he was drunk too. So he tells me how mad he is and how he does not want to speak to me ever again (I think that’s when he blocked me on msn) After that I started breaking down and crying and stuff. I was really drunk and very hurt and upset. Anyway since I have the habit of having razors lying around and I was depressed (kele’ was in the other room) I picked it up and probably would have slit my wrist had I not dropped it cause I was shaking so bad. Then I got up and went into the kitchen and got my shotgun. I loaded it and went into the living room where kele’ was and sat down in a chair. I cocked the gun and put the barrel in my mouth. I don’t know what stopped me. It was not kele’ cause she could hardly move (poor thing) and I have never told or said that to anyone till now. It feels so much better to get that off my chest.
Well this is something I have not told anyone. The only person that knows the events of this night are Kele’. I know some of you will just think im stupid but oh well. A few months ago after Eric and I had broken up Kele’ spent the night. We both got drunk. Ya know just to have a good time not cause I was depressed or anything. So we were having fun and then Eric’s friend Chris B. calls us and we are all talking and shit and he is even drunk. Well Eric finds out im drunk the online bitches at me and tells me how pissed he was cause he had made me promise I would not get drunk (only reason for that was he did not want me to be depressed and drunk at the same time but I was having a good time. To top it off he was drunk too. So he tells me how mad he is and how he does not want to speak to me ever again (I think that’s when he blocked me on msn) After that I started breaking down and crying and stuff. I was really drunk and very hurt and upset. Anyway since I have the habit of having razors lying around and I was depressed (kele’ was in the other room) I picked it up and probably would have slit my wrist had I not dropped it cause I was shaking so bad. Then I got up and went into the kitchen and got my shotgun. I loaded it and went into the living room where kele’ was and sat down in a chair. I cocked the gun and put the barrel in my mouth. I don’t know what stopped me. It was not kele’ cause she could hardly move (poor thing) and I have never told or said that to anyone till now. It feels so much better to get that off my chest.