LOG; evidence for her reasons; GEMINI + KATHARINA
who; Katharina and the Gemini of Hong Kong (because I'm sure none of you are able to read tags, rite.)
what; Choice.
when; 4:30 PM HKT.
Noah weaved his way through the people as quickly as he could, though there wasn't any need for it. It was routine, and sticking to it meant life went on-- as if everything destroyed in the past four months hadn't really happened and the earthquakes and casualties were just something to chatter briefly about before school. In his case, he'd said something vague on an Internet community dedicated to the end of the world, gotten changed and sank back into the routine again.
He was a few metres shy of reaching the gates when he realised he'd left his textbook in the classroom. A glitch in the routine. The bird looked as amused as a bird was able to when he looked up at it. He sighed for the few minutes wasted and headed back.
He stopped, though, when he reached the classroom door. He heard music-- quietened by the door being closed, but it was there. Exchanging glances-- sort of-- with the bird, he opened the door and walked in.
Katharina had stayed behind to practice to try and gather her mind about this. The Monastery going up in smoke only made her decision feel like it was supposed to have been made already, but she was still walking around like a lost puppy, and it didn't help matters on any levels. Christian didn't either, and staying behind at school without telling him was simply easier than going home.
But playing the violin wasn't helping either.
Her back turned to the door, she didn't hear it open, but a few seconds later, her fingers slipped and she paused in her playing, frozen like that for a few seconds before putting the instrument down. She didn't sigh, instead gritting her teeth and doing her best not to throw it at the wall in frustration.
Noah paused momentarily when he saw her, wondering if he should open his mouth and say something, then shrugged, deciding she looked pre-occupied. He headed over to where he'd been sitting. The book was where he'd left it. Not surprising.
The bird seemed agitated at his complete lack of action, but he ignored it, picking up the book and dumping his bag down on the desk.
"Bad day?" he queried at last, at the lack of anything else to comment on-- though it was an assumption, really, since he couldn't see her face-- as he unzipped the bag.
Too focused on her own thoughts, Katharina nearly jumped when someone spoke and she whirled around to see Noah picking up the book. She always seemed to run into him somehow.
"How could you tell?"
"I'm just guessing," he replied, followed by his perfect fake laugh. He shoved the book inside carelessly-- it was already in bad condition, so it didn't matter, he figured.
She frowned, as if she did ever did anything else, and turned away to put her instrument back into its case, running her hands over the velvet lining before closing it.
"Nobody seems to care about the Monastery." She still needed to figure out if she did. "Nobody here, at least."
"Not any more than about the other ones, yeah." He zipped up the bag but didn't move it. The bird sat at the edge of the desk. "But they'll still talk about it."
That was all this school was. Talk. They'd exhausted the topic of her assaulting a teacher, eventually, and moved on to other things. Shinier, newer things. Explosions were starting to get old, after four months, and she wasn't surprised.
They want me to choose, she wanted to say, but did he even care?
Turning around, Katharina glanced at the bird before leaning against the desk her violin was placed on. "You don't?"
"What do you mean?" He moved his bag aside and sat down on the desk. "Don't I care or, uh, don't I talk?"
"... both." She replied, fidgeting slightly in her indecision to move or stay put.
"I care." Did he, though? Really? He wasn't entirely sure what to think but he knew it at least bothered him. That had to count. "But there's not much to say that hasn't been said already. So, yeah."
"Ah." She nodded, looking out the window, hair falling over her shoulder. Ten months in Hong Kong, and still, she hadn't cut it. Ten months without her mother, but had she really changed at all?
"-- Do you?" he asked before he realised how stupid it sounded. "Uh, not in the end of the world sense, but-- as a regular person."
She turned her attention back on him, then looked down on the floor to buy time. Did she? Did she honestly care past the fact that it was rushing her into making a decision? She tried to think of the people dying in those attacks, and she found that yes, she felt bad. But then again, they had it coming.
If there was such a thing as fate, then everyone had everything that happened to them coming. Wasn't that how it worked? Buf it that was true, wasn't her decision already made for her?
Katharina nodded, looking up again. "I care." But not as much as she should.
Noah smiled. "That's good. Does that mean we're not doomed?" It was intended as a joke, but he had a way with them that made them sound completely dumb and out of place. Some people thought it was charming, but he doubted they were being honest. It was the type of thing his grandmother said.
She didn't answer at first.
Pushing herself off the desk, she approached him instead, ignoring the bird for now.
"I don't know."
The smile faded. "But they want you to?"
She liked it better when he smiled. The lack of it made her frown again and she stopped in front of him, not really knowing what she was doing.
"That's the whole point, isn't it? For me to choose."
"I guess, yeah." He shrugged. "But they won't stop even if you do, right?"
"They won't." She agreed. Because they wouldn't. If she chose Seal, she'd be obligated to stop it. If she went Angel, she'd join in the destruction. It was easier to tear down than build up, wasn't that what they said?
Katharina had to know something first. "Noah."
"... Uh, yeah?"
"Do you trust me?"
He blinked, surprised. "Trust you?"
"In general." To make the right decision.
Noah hesitated, looking down at the bird. "... Yes." Was that what she wanted to hear? He didn't know. Was it true because he'd said it?
"I see." She looked down at the bird as well and it stared back at her. Maybe that didn't make it harder. Maybe that just made it easier. Maybe it was time for her to have something easy happen, even if it would make things harder for everyone else. Maybe she just...
Katharina looked back at him, their faces almost level when he was sitting. She leaned down, one hand on his shoulder. Awkwardly.
It wasn't a hard decision to make-- not that he was the one faced with the hard ones. He either didn't, or he did. So he chose the latter, stopped trying to think about it, and kissed her.
Her other hand on his other shoulder, and Katharina let her eyes close to just enjoy that one moment before she pulled away again. Then she looked at him, and that was it.
There hadn't been a choice there from the beginning. Even if she had someone special, even if she cared about her brother, or Noah, or the city, or someone else, it didn't matter. She couldn't do this, she wasn't cut out for being a Seal. And fate knew that. Fate had always known that.
And suddenly everything made sense. What his mother had said in that voice that he thought he'd forgotten. Why a part of him had always been discontented with being nothing. And now he wasn't nothing, now he was so more than that and somehow ... he felt sick. Noah looked over at the bird-- he'd felt it change with him-- and then back at her.
"There we are, then."
Something was off, and if she had stayed around for another five minutes, she would've addressed what, but at that moment, she felt something else. Stepping away from Noah, Katharina didn't know whether or not to apologize, thinking only of her weapon. It was calling her, almost. She knew where it was. She knew how it was possible for it to be there. And she didn't even feel sad about it.
"I have to go."
Noah nodded and stood up, picking up his bag. The bird took to his shoulder as he did so. It was a dove today. It didn't seem as funny as it did in the morning.
"See you tomorrow," he said, and smiled because he didn't know what else to do.
what; Choice.
when; 4:30 PM HKT.
Noah weaved his way through the people as quickly as he could, though there wasn't any need for it. It was routine, and sticking to it meant life went on-- as if everything destroyed in the past four months hadn't really happened and the earthquakes and casualties were just something to chatter briefly about before school. In his case, he'd said something vague on an Internet community dedicated to the end of the world, gotten changed and sank back into the routine again.
He was a few metres shy of reaching the gates when he realised he'd left his textbook in the classroom. A glitch in the routine. The bird looked as amused as a bird was able to when he looked up at it. He sighed for the few minutes wasted and headed back.
He stopped, though, when he reached the classroom door. He heard music-- quietened by the door being closed, but it was there. Exchanging glances-- sort of-- with the bird, he opened the door and walked in.
Katharina had stayed behind to practice to try and gather her mind about this. The Monastery going up in smoke only made her decision feel like it was supposed to have been made already, but she was still walking around like a lost puppy, and it didn't help matters on any levels. Christian didn't either, and staying behind at school without telling him was simply easier than going home.
But playing the violin wasn't helping either.
Her back turned to the door, she didn't hear it open, but a few seconds later, her fingers slipped and she paused in her playing, frozen like that for a few seconds before putting the instrument down. She didn't sigh, instead gritting her teeth and doing her best not to throw it at the wall in frustration.
Noah paused momentarily when he saw her, wondering if he should open his mouth and say something, then shrugged, deciding she looked pre-occupied. He headed over to where he'd been sitting. The book was where he'd left it. Not surprising.
The bird seemed agitated at his complete lack of action, but he ignored it, picking up the book and dumping his bag down on the desk.
"Bad day?" he queried at last, at the lack of anything else to comment on-- though it was an assumption, really, since he couldn't see her face-- as he unzipped the bag.
Too focused on her own thoughts, Katharina nearly jumped when someone spoke and she whirled around to see Noah picking up the book. She always seemed to run into him somehow.
"How could you tell?"
"I'm just guessing," he replied, followed by his perfect fake laugh. He shoved the book inside carelessly-- it was already in bad condition, so it didn't matter, he figured.
She frowned, as if she did ever did anything else, and turned away to put her instrument back into its case, running her hands over the velvet lining before closing it.
"Nobody seems to care about the Monastery." She still needed to figure out if she did. "Nobody here, at least."
"Not any more than about the other ones, yeah." He zipped up the bag but didn't move it. The bird sat at the edge of the desk. "But they'll still talk about it."
That was all this school was. Talk. They'd exhausted the topic of her assaulting a teacher, eventually, and moved on to other things. Shinier, newer things. Explosions were starting to get old, after four months, and she wasn't surprised.
They want me to choose, she wanted to say, but did he even care?
Turning around, Katharina glanced at the bird before leaning against the desk her violin was placed on. "You don't?"
"What do you mean?" He moved his bag aside and sat down on the desk. "Don't I care or, uh, don't I talk?"
"... both." She replied, fidgeting slightly in her indecision to move or stay put.
"I care." Did he, though? Really? He wasn't entirely sure what to think but he knew it at least bothered him. That had to count. "But there's not much to say that hasn't been said already. So, yeah."
"Ah." She nodded, looking out the window, hair falling over her shoulder. Ten months in Hong Kong, and still, she hadn't cut it. Ten months without her mother, but had she really changed at all?
"-- Do you?" he asked before he realised how stupid it sounded. "Uh, not in the end of the world sense, but-- as a regular person."
She turned her attention back on him, then looked down on the floor to buy time. Did she? Did she honestly care past the fact that it was rushing her into making a decision? She tried to think of the people dying in those attacks, and she found that yes, she felt bad. But then again, they had it coming.
If there was such a thing as fate, then everyone had everything that happened to them coming. Wasn't that how it worked? Buf it that was true, wasn't her decision already made for her?
Katharina nodded, looking up again. "I care." But not as much as she should.
Noah smiled. "That's good. Does that mean we're not doomed?" It was intended as a joke, but he had a way with them that made them sound completely dumb and out of place. Some people thought it was charming, but he doubted they were being honest. It was the type of thing his grandmother said.
She didn't answer at first.
Pushing herself off the desk, she approached him instead, ignoring the bird for now.
"I don't know."
The smile faded. "But they want you to?"
She liked it better when he smiled. The lack of it made her frown again and she stopped in front of him, not really knowing what she was doing.
"That's the whole point, isn't it? For me to choose."
"I guess, yeah." He shrugged. "But they won't stop even if you do, right?"
"They won't." She agreed. Because they wouldn't. If she chose Seal, she'd be obligated to stop it. If she went Angel, she'd join in the destruction. It was easier to tear down than build up, wasn't that what they said?
Katharina had to know something first. "Noah."
"... Uh, yeah?"
"Do you trust me?"
He blinked, surprised. "Trust you?"
"In general." To make the right decision.
Noah hesitated, looking down at the bird. "... Yes." Was that what she wanted to hear? He didn't know. Was it true because he'd said it?
"I see." She looked down at the bird as well and it stared back at her. Maybe that didn't make it harder. Maybe that just made it easier. Maybe it was time for her to have something easy happen, even if it would make things harder for everyone else. Maybe she just...
Katharina looked back at him, their faces almost level when he was sitting. She leaned down, one hand on his shoulder. Awkwardly.
It wasn't a hard decision to make-- not that he was the one faced with the hard ones. He either didn't, or he did. So he chose the latter, stopped trying to think about it, and kissed her.
Her other hand on his other shoulder, and Katharina let her eyes close to just enjoy that one moment before she pulled away again. Then she looked at him, and that was it.
There hadn't been a choice there from the beginning. Even if she had someone special, even if she cared about her brother, or Noah, or the city, or someone else, it didn't matter. She couldn't do this, she wasn't cut out for being a Seal. And fate knew that. Fate had always known that.
And suddenly everything made sense. What his mother had said in that voice that he thought he'd forgotten. Why a part of him had always been discontented with being nothing. And now he wasn't nothing, now he was so more than that and somehow ... he felt sick. Noah looked over at the bird-- he'd felt it change with him-- and then back at her.
"There we are, then."
Something was off, and if she had stayed around for another five minutes, she would've addressed what, but at that moment, she felt something else. Stepping away from Noah, Katharina didn't know whether or not to apologize, thinking only of her weapon. It was calling her, almost. She knew where it was. She knew how it was possible for it to be there. And she didn't even feel sad about it.
"I have to go."
Noah nodded and stood up, picking up his bag. The bird took to his shoulder as he did so. It was a dove today. It didn't seem as funny as it did in the morning.
"See you tomorrow," he said, and smiled because he didn't know what else to do.