Connor Ficathon: His Father's Son
Title: His Father's Son
Pairing: Wes/Connor
Rating: R-ish
Summary: That for all his attempts at changing, he remains his father's son.
A/N: For stakebait for ros_fod's Connor Incest Ficathon. Request was Wes/Connor with mentions of Justine. And for the first time I've truly regretted the internet, the story just doesn't flow quite as well in an electronic setting as it does scrawled out on paper with ink blotches and doodles on the side. Therefore, I ask that the reader grant me some leeway and imagine Wes' notebook in such a manner.
Wes shuts the door, and silently accepts the realization that the past is never truly dead. That for all his attempts at changing, he remains his father's son.
He walks towards the bookshelves and reaches for the familiar tome, opens the pages and uncaps the Cross pen he'd received upon learning of his placement with Faith. “Don't disappoint us Wesley.” Only his father could take the greatest day of his life and make him feel like a failure. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror he's startled once again by how different he looks. Dark, cruel eyes, a swath of bandages at his throat and a chin overcome with growth. The doctors had warned him against shaving for at least a fortnight and he'd become lazy ever since. Besides, there wasn't anyone else to impress.
Shaking off the image of himself as a younger (but ever so much older) version of his father, he put down the thick bound book and instead grabbed the nearest legal pad and ballpoint pen. Smoothing down the page, he began---
Disclaimer: What conversations are included are by memory only, the subject remains distrustful of most modern technologies. Misconstrued meanings may occur herein. After all, the first rule of Watchers prevails: The interviewer can't help but be influenced by the subject. I have tried to remain as neutral as possible.
1 June
The vampire offspring hereafter also referred to as the subject (Never Connor, Never Stephen, distance Pryce. Distance.) is the reason for this collection of notes. Although I am no longer a registered Watcher, or in charge of a Slayer, I do think that my conversations with the subject are important and should be covered for posterity. Especially as his birth and death was divined by prophecy. Future generations may discover such information to be necessary.
I plan on keeping track of our conversations much like I did when I first became Faith's Watcher. However, given that this is not an official Watcher's Diary I feel comfortable editing as necessary. I will attempt to leave as much of the original material as is relevant.
-WP
2 June
We talked about Holtz today.
“You talked to my father, my *real* father. Tell me why. Why he took me. Why he kidnapped me to that hell world.”
“You're not going to like the answers.”
A cold harsh unfeeling sound escaped from Connor's lips. It took some time for me to realize that it was his impression of a laugh. (Even now the memory seems odd, fake. What child doesn't know how to laugh? Whose parent's raised them with nothing resembling joy? Who besides Connor that is...)
“I'll tell you all I know Connor, but Justine would know more.”
His ears drew forward at that and it seems like he was almost sniffing the air, “Explain.”
Short, terse and with a touch of menace. A son of two vampires and never more obvious than at this moment. Predatory and coy. Angry and armed.
And just as I was powerless to the father, so I am now to the son.
-WP
19 June
It’s been more than two weeks since Con- The Subject came by. I had imagined that our discussion about Holtz had left him confused and in need of additional support. However, when he came by tonight, the subject instead blamed his inability to elude his friends.
I assume that he meant my ex-partners within Angel Investigations. Upon further discussion I learned that Cordelia seemed to be missing and as a result Fred and Gunn were keeping a closer eye on him. A slurred comment about coincidences slid past too quickly for me to notice.
I asked him how he was dealing with the new knowledge about Holtz. His eyes narrowed and he repeated a quote I would have thought him unfamiliar with, “It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance, it lasts so short awhile.” (A fairly ironic quote for the son of a vampire.)
“Samuel Johnson was a colorful man.”
“I’ve been reading through Angel’s library, trying to-” The rest trailed off and he left soon after.
-WP
20 June
Expecting another long break between visits, I spent the evening preparing a contact list to search for Cordelia. In the midst of this action Con- The Subject appeared, bloodied and tired.
“Why did you work with him? Why did you work with that demon?” (He says the word like it’s an expletive, although I’d be surprised if he knew what an expletive was. But I’ve learned that’s how Connor curses. With names, with places. Angel. Darla. Quartoth. And the worst, the bloody motherfucker of his lexicon? His given name, Connor).
“He’s not just a demon. Angel is, was, *is* a good man.”
“He almost killed you. And would have if those people (I’m uncertain whether he meant Fred and Gunn or merely the hospital workers) hadn’t stopped him. He’s a *demon*.”
“He’s also your father Connor.”
“Fine. Tell me about him. Tell me why I should care about him.”
-WP
1 July
I haven't seen The Subject since telling him about his father. His real father, the one whose blood runs through his veins. The one whose silence he borrows, whose posture he emulates, whose glare he's perfected. The cliché fits in this case: the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
However, I wonder why he never mentions Darla. We've discussed both fathers, even touched on Justine, Fred, Cordelia and Gunn, and yet he seems completely disinterested in any discussion of Darla. Whether it's the lack of maternal figure through his childhood that made him forget or that Holtz simply never mentioned her, The Subject has yet to make any inquiry about her.
Although I suppose he could ask Fred or Gunn. Or read through Angel's collection of writings. Leaf through the old charcoal drawings, studying her picture for faint reminders of himself.
-WP
4 July
Connor escaped early today and was in my corridor this afternoon. He didn’t understand what was the cause for celebration. Upon learning America had won her freedom on this day, he simply shrugged and instead asked a question about fairy tales. It seems Fred had made some comment along the lines of “like a princess in the tower.”
(On a personal note, trying to explain fairy tales to someone that not only believes everything you say, but has met more evils than even the Brothers Grimm could describe is a Herculean task.)
“I don’t understand why you people have to have a happy ending. Life doesn’t work that way.”
“Fairy tales aren’t about life Connor. That’s not what they’re for.”
He looked confused and began to open his mouth to start the newest round of ‘You people and your ___’ before I cut him off.
“Fairy tales are for hope, Connor. The princess always gets rescued, the prince is always charming and the bad guys never win. Oh, and they always end Happily Ever After. “
-WP
5 July
“I’ve been thinking about what you said about Hope and that Happily Ever after thing. Was Justine a princess?”
Surprised by his astuteness (I shouldn’t have been. He was always measuring me just as much as I was him, just more obliquely), I nodded. “In a way, yes I think she was. As hard as she always tried to be, what she really wanted was to be rescued. Just like her sister wasn’t.”
“Sister?”
“A twin sister to be specific. She was murdered by vampires… I always wondered if Justine was a potential.”
“A potential Slayer?”
“How do you know about slayers?”
“Holt- My Father told me.”
-WP
6 July
After replaying the conversation from last night I believe that Connor and by extension Justine know where Angel is.
-WP
24 July
Anytime Connor is gone for an extended period of time I begin to wonder if he’s going to return. If he's told Fred and Gunn of his visits here. If he's mentioned what we talk about. Once upon a time I would have told them, but I guess Connor's not the only one that doesn’t believe in fairy tales.
When I'm not searching for ways in which to contact Cordelia, I find myself questioning my own methods and desires. I realize that the main factor behind my conversations with Connor stems from guilt. The Watcher in myself admits that writing for "posterity's sake" is merely the excuse that I've crafted for an unhealthy attachment. I realize that Connor, Stephen, whomever he is not just a specimen. He's not merely an experiment that I'm conducting. For one, he's not as easily controlled as the vampires the Council deals with. His reactions and the way that he views the world are unique in all of creation. Surely a Watcher must take note of such things?
And if not, surely the man responsible should.
-WP
29 July
Recently I’ve noticed a worrying trend. He’s Stephen when he discusses Holtz, Connor when the focus is Angel. It’s not enough that he’s the strongest human (a Slayer test would prove interesting), but he’s also a teenager stuck in the cross fires of a messy divorce.
I like to think that our visits, talks, actions help him in someway. I owe that to Angel, to Holtz, but most of all to Connor. (When I can ignore the voice inside that says Holtz chose to steal Stephen/Connor and that Angel started it all by killing Holtz’s family.)
-WP
1 Aug
I found Justine last night. The reason I include this here is because according to her, Connor is directly responsible for Angel’s disappearance.
-WP
5 Aug
I’ve become convinced that Connor deliberately has been misleading me about his abilities. That my efforts to study this child of two vampires has only opened my lack of knowledge. And that Connor has exploited me as necessary.
In retrospect, I’ve learned certain skill levels almost as though by accident. His mannerisms so familiar and yet not. His hearing, smelling, all on par with many of the vampire records I’ve read. Nothing to suggest that he is in anyway human.
Which might have been the point.
It is my opinion that Connor was learning how to be human by watching me. Much like he studied his prey in Quartoth. What this might mean for my survival is yet unclear, however, my tactics must change.
-WP
It is with some pain that I write the following entry and beseech the reader to remember the necessity of understanding The Subject. (May Angel and God forgive me, but I needed to know how to- How to control him if necessary.)
17 Aug
His recovery time is normal for his age, however his ability to control his emotions (and through this his orgasms) far exceeds any written record I've seen. He is less in control during rough sex, although handcuffs have proven worthless. The sight of silk makes him go slack, but I've not yet discovered whether that is due to sensations of pleasure or fear. (In fact for him I would say those two emotions are interchangeable)
He's proven indifferent to candle wax and ice cubes, seems disinterested in soft caresses and ignores all attempts at closeness post-act. At this time I'm unsure if this is because of his virgin status, or something deeper within.
And as much as these activities have sickened me, I have drawn some enjoyment in exploring his bodies' capabilities. Learning his weaknesses, searching for an Achilles' Heel of sorts. I once swore that if necessary I would kill Angel, now I feel confident to say that I could, would, do the same for Connor.
After all, he is his father’s son.
-WP
Pairing: Wes/Connor
Rating: R-ish
Summary: That for all his attempts at changing, he remains his father's son.
A/N: For stakebait for ros_fod's Connor Incest Ficathon. Request was Wes/Connor with mentions of Justine. And for the first time I've truly regretted the internet, the story just doesn't flow quite as well in an electronic setting as it does scrawled out on paper with ink blotches and doodles on the side. Therefore, I ask that the reader grant me some leeway and imagine Wes' notebook in such a manner.
Wes shuts the door, and silently accepts the realization that the past is never truly dead. That for all his attempts at changing, he remains his father's son.
He walks towards the bookshelves and reaches for the familiar tome, opens the pages and uncaps the Cross pen he'd received upon learning of his placement with Faith. “Don't disappoint us Wesley.” Only his father could take the greatest day of his life and make him feel like a failure. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror he's startled once again by how different he looks. Dark, cruel eyes, a swath of bandages at his throat and a chin overcome with growth. The doctors had warned him against shaving for at least a fortnight and he'd become lazy ever since. Besides, there wasn't anyone else to impress.
Shaking off the image of himself as a younger (but ever so much older) version of his father, he put down the thick bound book and instead grabbed the nearest legal pad and ballpoint pen. Smoothing down the page, he began---
Disclaimer: What conversations are included are by memory only, the subject remains distrustful of most modern technologies. Misconstrued meanings may occur herein. After all, the first rule of Watchers prevails: The interviewer can't help but be influenced by the subject. I have tried to remain as neutral as possible.
1 June
The vampire offspring hereafter also referred to as the subject (Never Connor, Never Stephen, distance Pryce. Distance.) is the reason for this collection of notes. Although I am no longer a registered Watcher, or in charge of a Slayer, I do think that my conversations with the subject are important and should be covered for posterity. Especially as his birth and death was divined by prophecy. Future generations may discover such information to be necessary.
I plan on keeping track of our conversations much like I did when I first became Faith's Watcher. However, given that this is not an official Watcher's Diary I feel comfortable editing as necessary. I will attempt to leave as much of the original material as is relevant.
-WP
2 June
We talked about Holtz today.
“You talked to my father, my *real* father. Tell me why. Why he took me. Why he kidnapped me to that hell world.”
“You're not going to like the answers.”
A cold harsh unfeeling sound escaped from Connor's lips. It took some time for me to realize that it was his impression of a laugh. (Even now the memory seems odd, fake. What child doesn't know how to laugh? Whose parent's raised them with nothing resembling joy? Who besides Connor that is...)
“I'll tell you all I know Connor, but Justine would know more.”
His ears drew forward at that and it seems like he was almost sniffing the air, “Explain.”
Short, terse and with a touch of menace. A son of two vampires and never more obvious than at this moment. Predatory and coy. Angry and armed.
And just as I was powerless to the father, so I am now to the son.
-WP
19 June
It’s been more than two weeks since Con- The Subject came by. I had imagined that our discussion about Holtz had left him confused and in need of additional support. However, when he came by tonight, the subject instead blamed his inability to elude his friends.
I assume that he meant my ex-partners within Angel Investigations. Upon further discussion I learned that Cordelia seemed to be missing and as a result Fred and Gunn were keeping a closer eye on him. A slurred comment about coincidences slid past too quickly for me to notice.
I asked him how he was dealing with the new knowledge about Holtz. His eyes narrowed and he repeated a quote I would have thought him unfamiliar with, “It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance, it lasts so short awhile.” (A fairly ironic quote for the son of a vampire.)
“Samuel Johnson was a colorful man.”
“I’ve been reading through Angel’s library, trying to-” The rest trailed off and he left soon after.
-WP
20 June
Expecting another long break between visits, I spent the evening preparing a contact list to search for Cordelia. In the midst of this action Con- The Subject appeared, bloodied and tired.
“Why did you work with him? Why did you work with that demon?” (He says the word like it’s an expletive, although I’d be surprised if he knew what an expletive was. But I’ve learned that’s how Connor curses. With names, with places. Angel. Darla. Quartoth. And the worst, the bloody motherfucker of his lexicon? His given name, Connor).
“He’s not just a demon. Angel is, was, *is* a good man.”
“He almost killed you. And would have if those people (I’m uncertain whether he meant Fred and Gunn or merely the hospital workers) hadn’t stopped him. He’s a *demon*.”
“He’s also your father Connor.”
“Fine. Tell me about him. Tell me why I should care about him.”
-WP
1 July
I haven't seen The Subject since telling him about his father. His real father, the one whose blood runs through his veins. The one whose silence he borrows, whose posture he emulates, whose glare he's perfected. The cliché fits in this case: the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
However, I wonder why he never mentions Darla. We've discussed both fathers, even touched on Justine, Fred, Cordelia and Gunn, and yet he seems completely disinterested in any discussion of Darla. Whether it's the lack of maternal figure through his childhood that made him forget or that Holtz simply never mentioned her, The Subject has yet to make any inquiry about her.
Although I suppose he could ask Fred or Gunn. Or read through Angel's collection of writings. Leaf through the old charcoal drawings, studying her picture for faint reminders of himself.
-WP
4 July
Connor escaped early today and was in my corridor this afternoon. He didn’t understand what was the cause for celebration. Upon learning America had won her freedom on this day, he simply shrugged and instead asked a question about fairy tales. It seems Fred had made some comment along the lines of “like a princess in the tower.”
(On a personal note, trying to explain fairy tales to someone that not only believes everything you say, but has met more evils than even the Brothers Grimm could describe is a Herculean task.)
“I don’t understand why you people have to have a happy ending. Life doesn’t work that way.”
“Fairy tales aren’t about life Connor. That’s not what they’re for.”
He looked confused and began to open his mouth to start the newest round of ‘You people and your ___’ before I cut him off.
“Fairy tales are for hope, Connor. The princess always gets rescued, the prince is always charming and the bad guys never win. Oh, and they always end Happily Ever After. “
-WP
5 July
“I’ve been thinking about what you said about Hope and that Happily Ever after thing. Was Justine a princess?”
Surprised by his astuteness (I shouldn’t have been. He was always measuring me just as much as I was him, just more obliquely), I nodded. “In a way, yes I think she was. As hard as she always tried to be, what she really wanted was to be rescued. Just like her sister wasn’t.”
“Sister?”
“A twin sister to be specific. She was murdered by vampires… I always wondered if Justine was a potential.”
“A potential Slayer?”
“How do you know about slayers?”
“Holt- My Father told me.”
-WP
6 July
After replaying the conversation from last night I believe that Connor and by extension Justine know where Angel is.
-WP
24 July
Anytime Connor is gone for an extended period of time I begin to wonder if he’s going to return. If he's told Fred and Gunn of his visits here. If he's mentioned what we talk about. Once upon a time I would have told them, but I guess Connor's not the only one that doesn’t believe in fairy tales.
When I'm not searching for ways in which to contact Cordelia, I find myself questioning my own methods and desires. I realize that the main factor behind my conversations with Connor stems from guilt. The Watcher in myself admits that writing for "posterity's sake" is merely the excuse that I've crafted for an unhealthy attachment. I realize that Connor, Stephen, whomever he is not just a specimen. He's not merely an experiment that I'm conducting. For one, he's not as easily controlled as the vampires the Council deals with. His reactions and the way that he views the world are unique in all of creation. Surely a Watcher must take note of such things?
And if not, surely the man responsible should.
-WP
29 July
Recently I’ve noticed a worrying trend. He’s Stephen when he discusses Holtz, Connor when the focus is Angel. It’s not enough that he’s the strongest human (a Slayer test would prove interesting), but he’s also a teenager stuck in the cross fires of a messy divorce.
I like to think that our visits, talks, actions help him in someway. I owe that to Angel, to Holtz, but most of all to Connor. (When I can ignore the voice inside that says Holtz chose to steal Stephen/Connor and that Angel started it all by killing Holtz’s family.)
-WP
1 Aug
I found Justine last night. The reason I include this here is because according to her, Connor is directly responsible for Angel’s disappearance.
-WP
5 Aug
I’ve become convinced that Connor deliberately has been misleading me about his abilities. That my efforts to study this child of two vampires has only opened my lack of knowledge. And that Connor has exploited me as necessary.
In retrospect, I’ve learned certain skill levels almost as though by accident. His mannerisms so familiar and yet not. His hearing, smelling, all on par with many of the vampire records I’ve read. Nothing to suggest that he is in anyway human.
Which might have been the point.
It is my opinion that Connor was learning how to be human by watching me. Much like he studied his prey in Quartoth. What this might mean for my survival is yet unclear, however, my tactics must change.
-WP
It is with some pain that I write the following entry and beseech the reader to remember the necessity of understanding The Subject. (May Angel and God forgive me, but I needed to know how to- How to control him if necessary.)
17 Aug
His recovery time is normal for his age, however his ability to control his emotions (and through this his orgasms) far exceeds any written record I've seen. He is less in control during rough sex, although handcuffs have proven worthless. The sight of silk makes him go slack, but I've not yet discovered whether that is due to sensations of pleasure or fear. (In fact for him I would say those two emotions are interchangeable)
He's proven indifferent to candle wax and ice cubes, seems disinterested in soft caresses and ignores all attempts at closeness post-act. At this time I'm unsure if this is because of his virgin status, or something deeper within.
And as much as these activities have sickened me, I have drawn some enjoyment in exploring his bodies' capabilities. Learning his weaknesses, searching for an Achilles' Heel of sorts. I once swore that if necessary I would kill Angel, now I feel confident to say that I could, would, do the same for Connor.
After all, he is his father’s son.
-WP