maybe without getting so offended about others advice try to see where they are coming from.. If they are trying to tell you something from experience because their life got all screwed up and what not from doing something they just don't want to see you go through the same pain as them. You are allowed to make your own mistakes and learn from them just others want to help protect you from live altering misery if they can help.. ya know.
Most people have the best interest when offering advice.. just try to see that and it won't bug you so much.. thank them for the advice and you choose whether or not to take it and then no one is hurt right?
I have had to listen to tons of unwanted advice from the state of hawaii who took my child away.. trust me.. advice from anyone other than them is soooooo worth the annoyance.. BELIEVE ME. I wouldn't lie to you about that. I thought I was doing the best by Toby and I was wrong in the beginning and lost everything. So just always remember that if I say something to you. it's not because I am a better mother but because I have learned from a horrible experience that I hope you would never ever ever ever in a bagillion years have to go through.
and about the Thanksgiving thing.. your probably not use to the sit down thing because your parents don't really celebrate holidays so it's not a big deal at your sisters to have the sit down fancy thing. You guys are very use to the laid back atmosphere.. That's how it is at my dad's side of the family because His family is sooo large and trail in all at different times.. also grandmas house is very small.. so we are all over the place.. but other places I have been to are more sit down. It will take awhile for any and all adjustments you have to make... It's up to you to weigh out all the pros and cons and see if the move is right for you. I went all the way to Hawaii with no family. NC you will have Shaun.. I know you don't get along with his mom but eventually you may be able to come to common grounds.. it will take awhile..that is.. if your decision is to go.. I am not telling you either way.. just that don't make your final decision on your future with shaun rest on your relationship with his mother. You need to focus on you, your baby and your relationship with shaun first and foremost. Trust me.. there are ways to avoid family members you don't want to see. You busy yourself with other things.. It is very possible. If you decide to stay here you have your Mom. But also remember she bosses you around alot and you get stressed out there too.. so weigh everything out and let me know whats going on.. I am here for you whatever decision you make.. Hope you know that!!!
i am not bothered about people giving me advice when it is about HUGE things.. like if you were to tell me im doing something that will cause him to get taken away... that i dont mind.. i do mind when it is about small things, and especially when his doctor knows about it, and its not a big deal... i understand that you had to go through hell with the state being involved in your situation... but luckily i dont have to go through that, and so when i get advice from people about small things, i do get annoyed.. and usually its about something im already knowledgeable on... i know a lot about raising kids, and what things are important and what arent.. just because im young, and a new mom, doesnt mean that i welcome advice coming from someone that isnt a doctor, or my aunt dawn... well, i am definetly moving to north carolina.. that is all set... i just dont like the idea of it very much...
well.. just so you know.. sometimes people question what the doctors have to say because doctors have been known to be wrong. so maybe they just want to make sure that you are getting the best possible care for your child.. I know with toby my doctors with shit doctors and did everything wrong and gave me all the wrong advice.
and just a question.. why do you feel that your aunt knows more about children to give you advice than anyone else...what are you trying to say about the other people?
You are a great mom.. I doubt people handing out advice are saying the you aren't.
i know that doctors make mistakes, and thats why i have aunt dawn to fall back on... she is very knowledgeable on child care, has taken classes, done tons of research, and has raised two kids of her own.. she knows everything about everything when it comes to infant, toddles and children.. so, i trust her more than anyone else because of those reasons.. plus, she has never lead me wrong, and when she gives me advice, she never makes me feel like a dumbass, and reassures me when i do make mistakes, that any mother would have done the same... i know that i am a great mom, but sometimes when people try to give advice, they go about it the wrong way... thats why i dont listen to anyone else...
well. I can tell you I am not perfect.. but I myself have had 2 parenting classes and hands on parenting for 3 years. I know quite a bit.. and plus no class can teach you.. all.. just experience. the classes make parenting look sooo easy.. but then you take the techniques they give you and try to put them to use.. and FAIL MISERABLY.. it sucks.. it's a big swift kick in the ass sometimes.. but you just have to pick yourself up and reasure yourself you did the best you could.. I personally have alot of insecurities about parenting.. but then I look and see that at least I am making decisions with love in my heart.. that is the most important thing.. keep on loving your child and you'll be just fine..
wow.. now i think i sound like a hippy? excuse me on that.. hahah
Most people have the best interest when offering advice.. just try to see that and it won't bug you so much.. thank them for the advice and you choose whether or not to take it and then no one is hurt right?
I have had to listen to tons of unwanted advice from the state of hawaii who took my child away.. trust me.. advice from anyone other than them is soooooo worth the annoyance.. BELIEVE ME. I wouldn't lie to you about that. I thought I was doing the best by Toby and I was wrong in the beginning and lost everything. So just always remember that if I say something to you. it's not because I am a better mother but because I have learned from a horrible experience that I hope you would never ever ever ever in a bagillion years have to go through.
and about the Thanksgiving thing.. your probably not use to the sit down thing because your parents don't really celebrate holidays so it's not a big deal at your sisters to have the sit down fancy thing. You guys are very use to the laid back atmosphere.. That's how it is at my dad's side of the family because His family is sooo large and trail in all at different times.. also grandmas house is very small.. so we are all over the place.. but other places I have been to are more sit down. It will take awhile for any and all adjustments you have to make... It's up to you to weigh out all the pros and cons and see if the move is right for you. I went all the way to Hawaii with no family. NC you will have Shaun.. I know you don't get along with his mom but eventually you may be able to come to common grounds.. it will take awhile..that is.. if your decision is to go.. I am not telling you either way.. just that don't make your final decision on your future with shaun rest on your relationship with his mother. You need to focus on you, your baby and your relationship with shaun first and foremost. Trust me.. there are ways to avoid family members you don't want to see. You busy yourself with other things.. It is very possible. If you decide to stay here you have your Mom. But also remember she bosses you around alot and you get stressed out there too.. so weigh everything out and let me know whats going on..
I am here for you whatever decision you make..
Hope you know that!!!
sorry so long.. I talk to much!
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well, i am definetly moving to north carolina.. that is all set... i just dont like the idea of it very much...
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and just a question.. why do you feel that your aunt knows more about children to give you advice than anyone else...what are you trying to say about the other people?
You are a great mom.. I doubt people handing out advice are saying the you aren't.
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i know that i am a great mom, but sometimes when people try to give advice, they go about it the wrong way... thats why i dont listen to anyone else...
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wow.. now i think i sound like a hippy? excuse me on that.. hahah
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