talking about issues completely unrelated to the REAL problem
my head is filled with words. but I'm completely speechless. I JUST DON'T KNOW.
so I'll talk of other things. of cabbages and kings.
two days ago we went to ::name omitted to protect the innocent::s house and had a little talk in the back room. I cried SO HARD, and wasnt' the only one. I said I was afraid I'd already ruined my life. I still am. it's so wonderful to have someone tell you that they love you and be able to believe them because they have tears in their eyes. fuck. to be loved just for BEING. then we ogled the lasagna we couldn't eat cuz it had meat in it.
then to the coffee bean to meet up with lindsey and alexa. and ryan jackson. IN THE FLESH. he drank some free fairy milk with minimal complaints. I think he was really just more fascinated than frightened. I had a nice little chat with dan and derek (spelled correctly now, thank you!) about my pants-peeing fear of the "music test" that is part of the penny lane job application process that prevented me from actually turning in the first part of the application, and about other random stuff. I sat on a table, and knocked it over the first time I got up..oops. everyone was silent, and then returned to their coffee shop chit chat. embarassing? I think not.
post-coffee bean we tried to avert our eyes from the gas gauge...well below the "red zone" of emptiness. definitely the longest time gone without filling up, thanks to the fact that I have had absolutely no cash for...almost a week. and there's no way I'm filling up with my debit card because (a) they charge like TWO BUCKS service charge and (b) I have no idea how much little money I have in there. lindsey's dream has always been to "get out and push!" but we've always managed to fill up just in the nick of time. not so, this time. a little past the "big dipper" on foothill blvd, the car started acting like it really was runnin' on empty and we fretted about not being able to make it to the arco (katy had given me 6 of her last 7 dollars to ensure that I'd be able to make it to work the next day). the car almost wouldn't move after stopping close to apperson, so we drove into the black dot gas station...katy noticed that "alliance" across the street was 2 cents cheaper, and we decided we could risk trying to get to the arco. WE MADE IT. ...almost. she completely gave up right as we rolled into the gas station, and lindsey and katy GOT OUT AND PUSHED me to the pump. oh, what a life we lead. I think it really hurt the old volvo though...it took a few tries to get her started without rumbling and shaking and flashing all these lights at me menacingly. I won't let that happen to my beloved thrash wagon ever again!
the search for the proverbial "second job" has begun. uuuugggh....I'm never going to be able to sleep again.
and of course, I'm sick again. like REALLY sick. like weird parts of my throat are all swollen and shit sick.
dear body,
I hate you.
love,
amelia
p.s. I think I may be in shock.
so I'll talk of other things. of cabbages and kings.
two days ago we went to ::name omitted to protect the innocent::s house and had a little talk in the back room. I cried SO HARD, and wasnt' the only one. I said I was afraid I'd already ruined my life. I still am. it's so wonderful to have someone tell you that they love you and be able to believe them because they have tears in their eyes. fuck. to be loved just for BEING. then we ogled the lasagna we couldn't eat cuz it had meat in it.
then to the coffee bean to meet up with lindsey and alexa. and ryan jackson. IN THE FLESH. he drank some free fairy milk with minimal complaints. I think he was really just more fascinated than frightened. I had a nice little chat with dan and derek (spelled correctly now, thank you!) about my pants-peeing fear of the "music test" that is part of the penny lane job application process that prevented me from actually turning in the first part of the application, and about other random stuff. I sat on a table, and knocked it over the first time I got up..oops. everyone was silent, and then returned to their coffee shop chit chat. embarassing? I think not.
post-coffee bean we tried to avert our eyes from the gas gauge...well below the "red zone" of emptiness. definitely the longest time gone without filling up, thanks to the fact that I have had absolutely no cash for...almost a week. and there's no way I'm filling up with my debit card because (a) they charge like TWO BUCKS service charge and (b) I have no idea how much little money I have in there. lindsey's dream has always been to "get out and push!" but we've always managed to fill up just in the nick of time. not so, this time. a little past the "big dipper" on foothill blvd, the car started acting like it really was runnin' on empty and we fretted about not being able to make it to the arco (katy had given me 6 of her last 7 dollars to ensure that I'd be able to make it to work the next day). the car almost wouldn't move after stopping close to apperson, so we drove into the black dot gas station...katy noticed that "alliance" across the street was 2 cents cheaper, and we decided we could risk trying to get to the arco. WE MADE IT. ...almost. she completely gave up right as we rolled into the gas station, and lindsey and katy GOT OUT AND PUSHED me to the pump. oh, what a life we lead. I think it really hurt the old volvo though...it took a few tries to get her started without rumbling and shaking and flashing all these lights at me menacingly. I won't let that happen to my beloved thrash wagon ever again!
the search for the proverbial "second job" has begun. uuuugggh....I'm never going to be able to sleep again.
and of course, I'm sick again. like REALLY sick. like weird parts of my throat are all swollen and shit sick.
dear body,
I hate you.
love,
amelia
p.s. I think I may be in shock.